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Author Archives: Anna Raccoon

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What Every Young Bride Should Know…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 11, 2011

Back in 1970, an acquaintance of mine put an advert in the Daily Mirror. ‘What every young bride should know before marriage, full colour pictures, 230 pages of explicit step-by-step instructions, only £5.10s, sent in discreet plain

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The price of the ‘f’ word.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 11, 2011

Willy Stobbs, respected local farmer and county stalwart was alleged to have used the ‘f’ word twice. It cost him £85 and a conditional discharge.

Since you can now burn multiple poppies on Remembrance Day for

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Jingo Bells.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 10, 2011

We don’t want to fight but by Jingo if we do
We’ve got the ships, we’ve got the men,
and we’ve got the money too;

The euphemisms are being run up the flag pole, and the international armchair

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Taxing the Dead!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 9, 2011

Liverpool Council’s Spring Sale of cremations is about to end – from the 1st April the price will increase by £156 – those council tenants who thought all their Christmas’s had come at once when they were

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Premature Articulation – the Climax.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 8, 2011

Complete Bollards and Cobbles.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 8, 2011

Last year I wrote of the load of bollards appearing in Newcastle at a cost of £500,000 which they maintained was an anti-terrorist device recommended by M16. It turned out to be a government grant which

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Pride and Prejudice in the Dales.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 7, 2011

Pornography was once an art form to be enjoyed exclusively in your own home, in private, away from prying eyes.  Victorian sensibilities ensured that.

These days Pornography, at least the so-called ‘soft’ pornography is on sale

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A Shaggy Corgii Tale…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 7, 2011

Mr T, who came before Mr G, in my dyslexic litany of marriages, once offered to move a boiler for me so that I could squeeze another piece of kitchen equipment into the resulting space. The offer

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Help needed. Any Techie Experts Out There?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 6, 2011

I have a problem; being a Sunday, I have to solve it myself.

I have two linked computer screens.

A HYUNDAIIT X91D Digital on NVIDIA Geoforce 7050 PV/ NVIDIA nforce630a as my primary screen

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Sister Eva’s Problem Page

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Sister Eva Longoria on March 6, 2011

All your problems solved with our straight talking no nonsense Sister of Mercy!

Dear Sister Eva,

I have been a serving officer in the Parachute Regiment for 8 years and

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Saturday Evening Posts Worth Reading.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 5, 2011

Steve Baxter on Copy ‘n Paste. Jon Slattery on No Jeans Please. Tom Paine – good to see him back! – on Caring for the Elderly.

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Journalists Do It Eloquently.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 5, 2011

An object lesson in parting words as you fling open the door to that harsh, cruel world. Tantrumtastical.

Richard Peppiatt leaves the comforting embrace [Ed. Are you sure?] of employment with the Daily Star,

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Fat Fatuities.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 4, 2011

If you are of a sensitive, politically correct disposition, best you run away now and play Solitaire or something, this post is not for you. You’ll only get upset.

I want to talk about the deep

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All Aboard the Good Ship Public Guardian…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 4, 2011

Senior Civil Servants – you have to love ‘em don’t you? For months now they have been urged to find ways to save money in their departments. Some have responded by ‘cutting front line services’, others have

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MPs in Lifts…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 3, 2011

Ms Vine is of course married to Mr Michael Gove MP. Who has the CCTV footage?

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Fings Ain’t Wot They Used T’Be!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 3, 2011

Those with long memories will remember the Grosvenor Square demonstration in 1968. I was walking down Oxford Street, window shopping at the time, an innocent enough occupation. Unfortunately, I had the misfortune to be accompanied by my

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The Upside and Downside of the Big Society.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 2, 2011

I always knew there was a very good reason why I had no ambition to be an employment lawyer. It meant grappling with the likes of The Transfer of Undertakings (Protection of Employment) Regulations 2006 or TUPE

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Keeping abreast of legal matters.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 2, 2011

Last week I reported on the curious case of the breast milk ice-cream on sale in London’s Covent Garden.

Ice-cream confectioner Matt O’Connor was confident his take on the “miracle of motherhood” and priced at

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Peeking Behind the Curtain.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 1, 2011

Mea Culpa! I have long been guilty of boring you all to a state of near death with my tales of the Court of Protection. There was method in my cruelty. I shall not make

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This is the Mourning of the Age of……

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on March 1, 2011

Seven years after the death of Princess Diana sparked a national outpouring of grief in floral format, tightly bundled in the non-biodegradable ‘wrap’ that florists use, rather than true cellophane, the ‘future compost’ tributes were still being

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Where are they now – Eric Illsley?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 28, 2011

The Barnsley Central by-election will be held on March 3rd. In case past constituents are starved of news of his present well being, given that Illsley is the word least likely to be mentioned in Barnsley this

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Pseud’s Corner lives!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 28, 2011

Jonathan Jones at the Guardian has excelled himself. He decided to turn his artistic critical faculty to a photograph of Mohammad Sidique Khan and Shehzad Tanweer – the two suicide bombers who took so many innocent lives

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An Endangered Species.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 28, 2011

The hunt is on for new journalistic game. Celebrities are protected, Muslims a politically incorrect target, Wiki leaks so last year, and the Bankers hunted to extinction. The aspiring journo-hunter has gone in search of new quarry

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The Best Comments of the Week.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 27, 2011

Gildas on The year of the Revolutions

“Why are all our institutions running for cover and distancing themselves from the Gaddifi regime when it is has always been clear what kind of nutcase he is?

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Populus Poll.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 27, 2011

One of the undoubted success stories of the Labour government (did I just write that! Indeed I did!) was to associate any  discussion of immigration with racism and fascism to the point where irrespective of your colour,

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Hurrah for Hereford!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 27, 2011

I see the SAS has forsaken the nightspots of Hereford and nipped over to Libya whilst we were asleep in our beds. They brought back 150 civilian oil workers in danger of being held as human hostages.

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Saturday Evening Posts Worth Reading.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 26, 2011

RichardB – Taking Sides. JuliaM – How to make cuts. Simon Cooke – How not to make cuts. Quiet Man – Continue reading →

Shocking Mnemonic.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 26, 2011

One of the duties of a teacher is to ensure that their young charges are not a liability to other workers when they go out into the big wide world. Especially when they are teaching them how

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Petty Polly on her Perch.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 26, 2011

Petty Polly – when all around her arguments are crashing – Polly continues to parrot the same old line. Yes, she’s off and running again today.

The release of the ONS figures yesterday caused much consternation

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Where are they now – Vera Baird?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 25, 2011

The lofty Vera is currently splashing round a swimming pool in Kampala in between discussing Ugandan matters; a welcome change from trying to hustle work as a humble ‘door tenant’ or ‘Barmaid’ at the prestigious Tooks chambers.

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