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Monthly Archives: January 2009

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From closet to cabinet and back to closet again…..

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 31, 2009

No longer centre stage, the man who should more properly be blamed for the present bout of fiscal diarrhoea in the UK banking system, skulked on the outer perimeter of the Davos conference this week, uncharacteristically silent.

The last time he was

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‘Unspeak’ – the Journalist’s lexicon and ‘Abduction’.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 30, 2009

Steven Poole coined the phrase ‘Unspeak’ as a fitting title for his book describing the process by which certain key words can lay claim to the high moral ground in a contentious matter without having to justify the

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Pedagogue or Paedophile?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 30, 2009

A long, long, time ago, just after World War 11, six licenses were granted to war veterans that allowed them to take commercial photographs in Trafalgar Square thus overriding the obscure by-law that had long prevented this means of

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A ‘Clarri-fied’ parallel universe.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 29, 2009

Mr Clarence Mitchell said: ‘People will be able to see that every penny of the money they so generously donated has been spent properly in the hunt to find Madeleine.’

I would suggest,

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The silence of the lame…….

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 28, 2009

                        

Lame we most definitely were, hobbled by the devastating trail that a monstrous storm carved through South West France. Allegedly. We had seen and felt

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State Terrorism

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 28, 2009

Commenting on the Police searches of the offices of Law Firm Vasco Vieira de Almeida looking for papers relating to the so-called ‘Freeport’ Case, the head of the Portuguese Bar, Marinho Pinto, said

“This is a practice usual to

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Scary Monsters……

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 28, 2009

Just when we thought it couldn’t happen here – whoops! Meet Dan, thanks to the charity Action for Children. They’ve created a cunning advert in which a boy with Asperger’s Syndrome is depicted as having been eaten by that scary

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Lord Mandelson And The Car Industry. This Is Not A Bail-Out! This Is Not a bail-Out!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 27, 2009

The Business Secretary Lord Mandelson is about to unveil a package of support for the UK’s  struggling car industry. The industry will be treated to some short-term help and some long-term help. It is considered by some MPs that the long term help may

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Is Michelle Obama About To Make The Late Princess Diana Look Like A Hermit?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 27, 2009

A bright, attractive and healthy Michelle La Belle Obama wore  one of  the most drab colours on the planet last week  This was the most auspicious occasion of her life …….. and yet she wore that colour! The fashion Gurus went wild! Women all over the World loved

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Barack Obama’s First Formal TV Interview As US President Is With …….. An Arabic TV Network!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 27, 2009

Having dispatched his new Middle East envoy George Mitchell on an eight day trip to meet Arab leaders, Obama spoke to Al-Arabiya TV based in Dubai. In his first formal TV interview as President of the United States of America, Obama says he

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3500 Corus Workers Are Steeled To Lose Their Jobs. Ta Ta to Tata!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 26, 2009

Steel giant Corus is axing more than 10% of its UK workforce with the loss of 2500 jobs in the UK alone.

Its Indian parent company Tata is currently announcing a series of cost-cutting measures. Sadly they no longer need their UK

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Important message to all our posters!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 25, 2009

MESSAGE TO ALL!

Anna Raccoon has managed to telephone us to say that she is safe and has enough supplies to get through this tempestuous time. She wants us all to know that she is with us in Spirit. Hopefully she will

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Dear Lord above! Are The Lords Above the Law?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 25, 2009

Are the Lords going to be interrogated with the same tin of vim and vigour that they used to scour the Commons out?

Will the investigators wipe the floor with them? Will we see a bit of the old naming and shaming?

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Update to Karen Matthews

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 23, 2009

The mother of Shannon Matthews has been jailed for eight years for her role in the kidnap of her own daughter.

Karen Matthews, 33, of Moorside Road, Dewsbury Moor, West Yorkshire, was sentenced at Leeds Crown Court after being found guilty

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The ancient art of Bonsai

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 23, 2009

Print more money, bend one knee to the IMF, or plead with the ECB to let you into the Eurozone, those are the choices facing Gordon Brown, now presiding over a country that is bleeding cash and sensible citizens. He

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The New World Order is here. Do we go with Obama and the USA or do we allow Kenneth Clarke to lead us into Europe?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 23, 2009

In a week where we have witnessed the inauguration of Barack Obama and the timely arrival of Kennth Clarke into the bosom of David Cameron’s Conservative Party, even a lateral thinker would wonder if there is a puppet-master tugging on

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The McCann influence.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 23, 2009

Karen Mathews, the mother of Shannon Matthews is due to be sentenced for kidnapping her own daughter at Leeds Crown Court, alongside her former partner’s uncle, Michael Donovan, 40.

It was revealed that Donovan kept her imprisoned as part of a

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Mad about Harry?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 23, 2009

Harry Nicolaides was an Australian expatriate living in Thailand who wrote a book called ‘Verisimilitude’ which contained a paragraph of precisely 103 words allegedly insulting the Crown Prince of Thailand.

103 words can do a great deal of damage if widely

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Gary McKinnon and the USA – (Who happen to have been on constant High Alert Since 9/11!)

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 23, 2009

United States security services have been on extreme high alert since the atrocious 9/11 terrorist attacks.
A young guy with a lot of time on his hands decided to hack into all the major security systems from a dial-up computer in his bedroom

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You hum it, I’ll write it……………

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 22, 2009

The news wires from Portugal are hissing and humming this morning as they transmit the latest saga from Faro.

The Faro court was hearing the case of the alleged assaults by five PJ inspectors of Leonor Cipriano who alleges torture during her

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The medicalisation of Autism

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 22, 2009

In response to Carol Sarler’s evil column about one particular autistic child in the Daily Male, the Autism Treatment Center of America has offered its Son-Rise program to anyone who has pockets deep enough to pay for it. It suggests in

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An ‘unPresidented’ replay……….

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 22, 2009

Barack Obama has been sworn in as US president for the second time in two days, because one word was given out of order during Tuesday’s ceremony.

“Out of the abundance of caution, because there was one word out

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The Hot Air Government gets a puncture……

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 21, 2009

The afternoon reverie is shattered by the grinding of metal, the squeal of tyres and the smell of rubber and aviation fuel.

It is the sound of the Gordon Brown’s ‘Hindenburg’ government apparatus simultaneously crash landing whilst performing a full

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Betting against the Bank and the Big ‘O’.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 21, 2009

Some of you will have woken up to newspaper headlines extolling the wonders of the ‘Big O’ and its promises to make the earth move for you too – the world watches as Obama achieves the ‘Big O’. Sex used to

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An ‘unpresidented’ botch to rival the chads…….

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 21, 2009

The American constitution states that by 12.00pm on the 20th January Barack Obama must state the following……

“I [Barack Hussein Obama] do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the

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Voodoo maths and post-race betting……

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 20, 2009

Good morning Happy Taxpayers! This is your leader speaking, I’ve finished saving the world and I’m turning my attention to you!

Yes, today I have set up a new business for you, today you are going to be book-makers, I

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The McCann’s Spanish detective agency and corporate social responsibility……

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 20, 2009

Metodo3 is working harder than ever to upgrade their image. Marita Fernández Lado the founder, tells us that Método 3 is a socially responsible company which has been

“maintaining its company compromise of transparency all these years, getting to

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Shout when you see her!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 20, 2009

Our Coco is sitting comfortably in her VIP seat at Obama’s inauguration.  

First one to see her and correctly describe her (diabolical choice, Coco!) hat wins a rechargeable nasal hair trimmer.

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Drop the dead Donkey……

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 20, 2009

The BBC have not completely abandoned in depth investigative journalism. They have just unearthed this gem to add balance to an emotive report of the devastation in Gaza. 

The price of Donkeys is subject to an inflationary rise – there is no petrol.

See?

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A Churchillian speech from Obama.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 20, 2009

A powerful inauguration speech, deeply reminiscent of a southern Baptist declaration from the pulpit, but I take no issue with that. 

The commentators were keen that we should get the message that this election represented an end to racial divisions in the US – unfortunately, if that

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