Liverpool Council’s Spring Sale of cremations is about to end – from the 1^st April the price will increase by £156 – those council tenants who thought all their Christmas’s had come at once when they were relocated from Scotland Road to leafy Kirby, which unfortunately doesn’t have its own crematorium, will suffer a double penalty, their bill as non-city residents will double to £1,298.

A spokesman for Liverpool Council said (with a dead straight face):

“The unprecedented cuts in funding made setting the council’s budget extremely challenging and there was a determination to protect frontline services where possible.

Don’t all rush at once now! Form an orderly queue.

Death Rides A
Tryke March 13, 2011 at 06:05

Hmmm, interesting….

Macheath March 10,
2011 at 09:00

I couldn’t find a match for the incendiary puns above, but may I offer this
from a Birmingham City Council press release last year?

” The council has also identified several areas where it can increase
its revenue. These include looking at what can be done to increase revenues at
its cemeteries and crematoria…”

Livewire March 10, 2011 at 09:58

If it’s Sandwell there’s no guarantee that the human fuel will have
expired before they incinerate it.

Joe Public March 9, 2011 at 20:16

Maybe Liverpool’s cremation costs could be reduced if they followed
Redditch’s example:-

https://www.annaraccoon.com/reflections/death/

Engineer March 9, 2011 at 23:35

Not possible. There are already three streets of terraced houses
unofficially tapped into the waste heat from the crem. They’d reheat their
take-aways there as well if they could find a shovel with a long enough
handle.

Randy Hack March 9, 2011 at 20:04

They’d better not cremate me. The whole place will go up like a Molotov
Cocktail!

Livewire March 9, 2011 at 19:59

A grave error
Have Mersey on the poor people
Local urban decay –
cirrhosis of the Liver Building

Gildas theMonk
March 9, 2011 at 19:57

Just a thought for an appropriate song…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1Y8RLhVtcA

Cheerio
G the M

Joe Public
March 9, 2011 at 20:07

The Doors would be indispensible, with “C’mon baby light my fire”.

Followed by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown – ‘Fire’

Randy Hack
March 9, 2011 at 21:19

Bravo!

View from the
Solent March 9, 2011 at 18:47

Biers all round!

Lorenzo March 9, 2011 at 17:54

Bombfire of the Quangoes, it’ll all end in Tiers

Caedmon’s
Cat March 9, 2011 at 17:14

Pah! These councils have money to burn. Let the pyre beware…