Once upon a time… I had a dustbin. An old-fashioned affair, with a rounded galvanised metal lid atop a rounded galvanised metal body, and a handle on either side. Into this dustbin went the ashes from the fire,Continue reading →
Coming Soon to an Airport Near You!
News from Manchester Airport that from this month they will be testing a new “Eye Scanner”, which will read our irises and help to “combat the war against terror”. This comes only months after the airport introduced theContinue reading →
Tears Before Bedtime.
It’s all going to be so wonderful…Our brave new Coalition government is a government of movers and shakers. Yes Sirree! They are going to take the tax and benefit systems, and shake them by the scruffContinue reading →
The Lost Gospel.
And in the tenth year of the third millenium, there was darkness in the land, and the people were sore oppressed by King Godron andContinue reading →
The Raccoon Economic Thick-Tank (RETT) has reported on its representations to the government, on potential additional taxation. A precis of itsContinue reading →
Sir John Thingie MP, interviewed in one of the House of Commons’ many bars.
Look — look — it’s quite simple. We didn’t getContinue reading →
The Truth Behind the Truth.
You may possibly have heard recently about a bit of bother near Gaza. It was in allContinue reading →
The Brown Stuff.
Busy, busy, busy… that’s Gordon for you. Things to do, people to annoy, nations to bankrupt…
Our erstwhileContinue reading →
Bun Fight at the U.K. Corral
Open warfare had broken out at Blogwarts, since the results of the first debate had been announced. A raiding party of Cameroons had invaded Slytherin House and debagged Mandelson, the school sneak. In retaliation,Continue reading →
Blogwarts School and “The Deathly Election”
Tales of St. Wayne’s — Chap. CCCLVII “Well done chaps!”
The headmaster’s spectacles gleamed as he turned from the leaded windows of his study to beam upon the three boys who stoodContinue reading →
Your roving reporter has scooped everyone else by tracking down the Prime Minister to a secret meeting of theContinue reading →
Election 2310 AD
Hey kid… it’s only Granpa… can I come in? What’ya doin’? Ah, readin’ up before your election contest tomorrow.Continue reading →
Unseen in Sedgefield
(The following are un-reported excerpts from Mr Blair’s recent speech at Sedgefield, which were mysteriously omitted from the televised version.) Hey, look — I know I promised to be whiter than white.Continue reading →
Spot the Con.
Householders are being warned to look out for roving gangs of con-men, members of extremist cults, who are targeting peopleContinue reading →
The Tarts With No Heart.
You’ve thought about it before… dumping her. Maybe this time… the Party’s really over. After all — it’s been thirteen years, andContinue reading →
Tears on my Pilau
Dread news from the AP today, reporting from Gauhati in India, where the arms race has taken on a terrifying new twist.
Continue reading →
The Trouser Snake
Screaming Lord Mandelson
Crawls through the undergrowth –
Snake in the grass.
Prince of the Underworld,
Vicious and venomous
Pain Continue reading →