lenko – The Anna Raccoon Archives

Once Upon A Time.

by lenko on November 22, 2010

Once upon a time… I had a dustbin. An old-fashioned affair, with a rounded galvanised metal lid atop a rounded galvanised metal body, and a handle on either side. Into this dustbin went the ashes from the fire,

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Coming Soon to an Airport Near You!

by lenko on November 20, 2010

News from Manchester Airport that from this month they will be testing a new “Eye Scanner”, which will read our irises and help to “combat the war against terror”. This comes only months after the airport introduced the

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Tears Before Bedtime.

by lenko on November 17, 2010

It’s all going to be so wonderful…Our brave new Coalition government is a government of movers and shakers. Yes Sirree! They are going to take the tax and benefit systems, and shake them by the scruff

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The Lost Gospel.

by lenko on July 27, 2010

And in the tenth year of the third millenium, there was darkness in the land, and the people were sore oppressed by King Godron and

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The Thick-tank.

by lenko on June 29, 2010

The Raccoon Economic Thick-Tank (RETT) has reported on its representations to the government, on potential additional taxation. A precis of its

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Belt Tightening

by lenko on June 9, 2010

Sir John Thingie MP, interviewed in one of the House of Commons’ many bars.

Look — look — it’s quite simple. We didn’t get

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The Truth Behind the Truth.

by lenko on June 3, 2010

You may possibly have heard recently about a bit of bother near Gaza. It was in all

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The Brown Stuff.

by lenko on May 25, 2010

Busy, busy, busy… that’s Gordon for you. Things to do, people to annoy, nations to bankrupt…

Our erstwhile

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Bun Fight at the U.K. Corral

by lenko on April 25, 2010

Open warfare had broken out at Blogwarts, since the results of the first debate had been announced. A raiding party of Cameroons had invaded Slytherin House and debagged Mandelson, the school sneak. In retaliation,

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Blogwarts School and “The Deathly Election”

by lenko on April 20, 2010

Tales of St. Wayne’s — Chap. CCCLVII “Well done chaps!”

The headmaster’s spectacles gleamed as he turned from the leaded windows of his study to beam upon the three boys who stood

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Election News

by lenko on April 16, 2010

Your roving reporter has scooped everyone else by tracking down the Prime Minister to a secret meeting of the

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Election 2310 AD

by lenko on April 15, 2010

Hey kid… it’s only Granpa… can I come in? What’ya doin’? Ah, readin’ up before your election contest tomorrow.

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Unseen in Sedgefield

by lenko on March 31, 2010

(The following are un-reported excerpts from Mr Blair’s recent speech at Sedgefield, which were mysteriously omitted from the televised version.) Hey, look — I know I promised to be whiter than white.

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Spot the Con.

by lenko on March 28, 2010

Householders are being warned to look out for roving gangs of con-men, members of extremist cults, who are targeting people

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The Tarts With No Heart.

by lenko on March 28, 2010

You’ve thought about it before… dumping her. Maybe this time… the Party’s really over. After all — it’s been thirteen years, and

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Tears on my Pilau

by lenko on March 25, 2010

You Couldn’t Make It Up

Dread news from the AP today, reporting from Gauhati in India, where the arms race has taken on a terrifying new twist.

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The Trouser Snake

by lenko on March 23, 2010

Sleazily-weasily,
Screaming Lord Mandelson
Crawls through the undergrowth –
Snake in the grass.
Prince of the Underworld,
Vicious and venomous
Mephistophelian
Pain

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