Why did the chicken cross the road?
US: To go to the other side of the road.
LIB DEMS: For it is a good move. Life is a lot better on the other side.
ARISTOTLE: It is but natural for chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was historically inevitable that the chicken would one day cross the road
HIPPOCRATES: As a result of excessive secretion of pancreatic glands
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR: I have a dream of a world where all chickens shall have the liberty to cross the road without having to justify their actions.
NICOLAS MACHIAVELLI: The important thing is that the chicken crossed the road. We shouldn’t care to know why. The end result of crossing the road is self-justifying and overrides the reason for the crossing.
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are concerned with the chicken crossing the road reveals how sexually insecure you are.
EINSTEIN: Whether it is the chicken that crosses the road or the road that revolves around the chicken is relative and solely depends on your reference point.
STALIN: The chicken should have been shot in the farm, alongside all the witnesses to the crossing, and maybe 10 other bystanders so as not to have such a subversive act being committed.
GEORGE W. BUSH: The fact that the chicken crossed the road in all impunity, in gross disregard of UNO resolutions represents an affront to democratic practices, liberty, human rights and justice. This proofs irrefutably that we should already have bombed this road a long time ago.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because « Yes it can »
SARKOZY: This chicken should first of all learn « la marseillaise » before such a road crossing adventure should be attempted in France.
PAUL BIYA: Where is the proof that the chicken crossed the road ? This is the work of “the opposition ». A commission of inquiry shall be put in place to track down all these opposition chickens.
My suggestions
H&S BOD: Did the chicken look both ways before crossing the road and was it wearing a high viz jacket?
FEMINISTS: To stop the cockerel on the side of the road from asserting his masculinity.
UKUNCUT: To stop the ducks on the other side of the road from getting all the feed.
RICHARD J MURPHY: The chicken crossed the road to pay his taxes.
Anna’s suggestions
NICK CLEGG: Snobbery from the other chickens.
GORDON BROWN: It started in America.
CAMERON: I’m glad you asked that excellent question.
LEN MCCLUSKY: The management forced it to.
ED BALLS: It was trying to walk too fast, too soon.
What’s your suggestion?
Photo by \/\/ander
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1
May 27, 2012 at 12:19 -
Bob Crow: The Chicken crossed the road because she was unable to use public transport to reach her destination. This was due to industrial action by our members who are not going to put up with bullying and victimisation and erosion of their rights and their pay and conditions by this out-of-touch Tory-led government.
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2
May 27, 2012 at 13:15 -
President Clinton: But i want to say one thing to the American people,
i want you to listen to me, I’m gonna say this again,
i did not…have …sexual… relations with that Chicken,
I never told anybody it’s a lie..not a single time..never,
these allegations are false, It crossed the road before i
could fuck it. -
3
May 27, 2012 at 13:47 -
Rajendra K. Pachauri : “To escape rising sea levels accurately prophesied by my IPCC organisation”
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4
May 27, 2012 at 13:55 -
To get there first. I was either her or the egg.
On second thought, did anyone see her? She may have chickened out
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5
May 27, 2012 at 13:56 -
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6
May 27, 2012 at 14:48 -
Audit trail, and improvement for the encouragement of !
There is, but you have to be a boss
.Volunteering?
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7
May 27, 2012 at 15:00 -
“nefarious”? I had to consult my dictionaries again: criminal, shameful, infamous, etc. … ? What have I done “ed” to deserve this? Life’s not easy for a Dutch girl on a British blog …
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8
May 27, 2012 at 15:16 -
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9
May 27, 2012 at 19:46 -
Ah .. Monty Pyton sense .. you must be my age then … Sorry that I didn’t recognise. “Don’t mention the war” or “this is a dead parrot” would have done it for me
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10
May 27, 2012 at 22:29 -
No offence intended.
Must be more careful.
Good job there are no Germans around …
(ducks).
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11
May 27, 2012 at 14:49 -
12
May 27, 2012 at 15:13 -
What chicken? What road?
I don’t know owt about it.
I’m saying nowt til I see my lawyer.
Am I under arrest? -
13
May 27, 2012 at 16:13 -
Zen Budhism: There is no chicken, there is no road. All is illusion.
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14
May 27, 2012 at 19:27 -
*SNORK*
Any lying politician: Why did the checken cross the road? Look that is not the issue, the issue is that blah, blah, blah… -
15
May 27, 2012 at 19:43 -
Diane Abbott:- I have nothing more to say except that some white people had divided and ruled the road……a black road with white lines.
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17
May 27, 2012 at 21:58 -
God : Not being a Samaritan chicken, it had to cross the road so that it could pass by on the other side.
Dawkins: If you believe a chicken ever really crossed the road, where’s the scientific-standard proof ?
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18
May 27, 2012 at 22:31 -
19
May 27, 2012 at 22:53 -
Gordoom Brown, the most risk averse politician in recent memory.
Why did the Chicken cross the road, to meet Gillian Duffy a life-long liebour supporter, and he could not even get that right.
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20
May 28, 2012 at 00:46 -
Lib/Lab/Con The chicken crossed the road to receive the eggspenses that it had been awarded by the honourable members of embezzlement.
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21
May 28, 2012 at 00:59 -
Because, someone called it a chicken.
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22
May 28, 2012 at 06:16 -
Ken Livingstone:
“Nyeaah – The chicken crossed the road because it could, as a result of historical inevitability. Inevitable because I sabotaged the traffic lights. When I was mayor…”
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23
May 28, 2012 at 08:48 -
… to spend its poultry allowance.. (sorry..)
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24
May 28, 2012 at 17:21 -
Johann Hari: having been granted an exclusive interview with the chicken I can reveal that…
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25
May 28, 2012 at 19:44 -
Because under EU Directive 374/27/92 Sub-section 58 Paragraph 12 dated 1st April 2005 chickens are specifically banned from crossing roads, and it wished to demonstrate it’s contempt for all things EU.
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26
May 28, 2012 at 21:56 -
Famous Glamour Model/Singer: “I didn’t actcherly cross ver road myself but I got some one from my publicity team to go over and ge’ it taken daahn cos I’ve just ‘ad me implornts changed and vat’s a pictchur of me wiv me old ones so it doesn’t reflect the true me anymore”
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