The Foreign Secretary is keen to be seen as an unaccompanied man tucking into meat with gusto, but has been forced to take the extraordinary step of issuing a statement about his alleged clandestine fruit eating habits with Ffion, variously described as his wife and his long time companion after a series of bloggers became so bored during the silly season that the following photograph was widely circulated on the Internet claiming that he and Ffion had shared a watermelon cocktail together at Notting Hill festival, dressed casually and wearing almost matching blue shirts.

The Daily Telegraph disclosed on Saturday that a Cabinet minister was ready to take legal action to halt the baseless rumours about his private life. This could take the form of an injunction to prevent publication, or a threat to sue if the false stories appeared in mainstream media.

Does any of this really matter? Is it relevant to our role as the fifth estate whether Hague is nurtured by a platter of roast testicles or the freshly squeezed juice of a delicate South African Passion fruit?

The revelation came shortly after it was revealed that the former Prime Minister Tony Blair had thought that his Chancellor was not the full shilling, so has an obvious impact on Hague’s voting record. Surely – or the Daily Telegraph would not be wading into the fray?

True, during the Fox Hunting debate, William said he would have preferred that the government find the time to debate ‘the need to make sure that meat imports into this country meet the standards of food produced at home’ – an intervention which has an added resonance now that we know that his meat eating habits are questionable – and he did once say “I used to be into Genesis and Meat Loaf but that’s all in the past.” But how does any of this affect his ability to act as Foreign Secretary?

No children were harmed in the dissection of these fruity revelations.

John Pickworth
September 2, 2010 at 21:21

This whole thing actually makes me pretty angry if I’m honest.

My first reaction was who cares? But surprisingly, its seems a lot of
people do. Really! Aren’t we all supposed to be a little more enlightened
these days? Or at the very least bored with the puerile ‘what the butler saw’
tabloid stories – or hemorrhoid stories, in Guido’s case (just keep scratching
until it bleeds)?

There seems to be just two questions, well three at a push, that are taxing
the pajama clad militants posting to, or commenting on, the blogs. Is Hague
gay? The appointment of the under-qualified Special Advisor? And, Hague’s
voting record on gay issues?

Well, Hague couldn’t have been any clearer in his statement about his
sexuality. Unless someone knows different we’re just going to have to accept
what he says. To quote: “Any suggestion
that his appointment was due to
an improper relationship between us is utterly false, as is any suggestion
that I have ever been involved in a relationship with any man.”

And Myers qualifications? Who cares if he’s completely useless? Sure, we’re
paying for it but we’d be paying someone anyway. If he’s not so hot at his job
the Minister will be the one that will suffer, so in many ways its a
self-correcting problem. Again though, we’d have to take it on trust that
Hague thought he was up to the job and so possibly this pointless fuss will
have potentially seen the loss of a conscientious hard working chap.

Hague’s voting record? Even if he were gay, it doesn’t necessarily follow
that he’d vote for his tribe… in fact, his first loyalty should be with his
constituents, gay and straight. I’m gay, but I’ve never supported gay
marriages because I believe that’s an issue for the churches/faiths
themselves.

No I’m sorry, this has made me really angry. Guido had the sniff of
something and took the decision to publish it on the basis of a few
circumstantial factors, all of which could (and probably do) have innocent
explanations.

He hasn’t done himself or the cadre of political bloggers a favour by
running with this one.

Thaddeus J.
Wilson September 3, 2010 at 08:39

John, I feel the matter is not of Myers’s competence as such, as it is
more about the fact that he got the job because he was Hague’s friend. The
government in all its forms is hardly inundated with competent people, but a
lack of competence and nepotism are never going to make for a happy
outcome.

Mr Myers’s patent unsuitability to government was shown by his prompt
resignation, which hints at a sense of honour clearly incompatible with our
post-democratic political system.

Gildas the Monk
September 1, 2010 at 22:05

Delicate South African passion fruit!??
I do learn a lot on this
site!

Kingbingo September 1, 2010 at 19:56

By the way I used to say the same thing about Labour when they were in
power.

People should be hounded out of office for what they do in office. Not for
what a bunch of small minded gossips say they might be doing in their
bedrooms.

Damn the
consequences September 2, 2010 at
02:12

People should be hounded out of office for what they do in office…….and
that is the point JuliaM was making, and to a great extent also what Guido
was highlighting.

The fact that you cannot process this information because you are blinded
by the homosexual back-story speaks poorly for your analytical skills.

Your childish name-calling and infantile examples puts you in a class of
commentators well suited to Guido’s site.

Damn the
consequences September 2, 2010 at
04:58

People should be hounded out of office for what they do in office…….and
that is the point JuliaM was making, and to a great extent also what Guido
was highlighting. Preferential hiring of a poorly qualified candidate at
taxpayer expense.

The fact that you cannot process this information because you are blinded
by the homosexual back-story speaks poorly for your analytical skills. That
you also seem to subscribe to a class system of news-some items are OK for
the Westminster village but not the great unwashed taxpaying public- shows
you to be part of the problem that pervades much of the chattering
class.

Your childish name-calling and infantile examples put you in the class of
commentators found at Guido’s site whom he classifies as window-lickers
perhaps even bathroom window-lickers.

Thank you WoaR you are far more succinct than I.

Steph September 1, 2010 at 18:09

The issue for me is not so much whether Hague is straight, gay or even bi.
But, he has constantly voted against various legislation of gay equality, and
has a somewhat odd contradictory voting record when it comes to the age of
consent for gay couples. The potential hypocrisy of someone who may have had
gay relationships at the same time as infringing the rights of gay people to
be able to do the same is what I find unacceptable.

Kingbingo September 1, 2010 at 19:47

I enjoy sex with females. But that does not mean that I think sex with
females should be OK at any age.

What exactly is potentially hypocritical of a Gay man not voting to lower
the gay age of consent?

gladiolys
September 1, 2010 at 19:58

Because it’s about equality under the law DIPSHIT. Just admit to your
anti gay prejudices. I’m sick of you straight people ramming your
heterosexuality down my throat. Wash it first.

Steph September 1, 2010 at 19:58

Nor do I think it should be OK at any age.

It wasn’t just gay age of consent not being equal to heterosexual age
of consent, there was numerous other areas of voting – such as
discrimination too. Whilst not all gay men (as well as lesbian women) will
agree on every issue affecting them, it would still seem slightly odd that
you wouldn’t desire equality in at least some areas.

JuliaM September 2, 2010 at 05:29

“What exactly is potentially hypocritical of a Gay man not voting to
lower the gay age of consent?”

Now, that I do agree with. But the outrage from some sections is
down to the fact that identity politics assumes everyone must have the
‘right’ opinions.

Damn the
consequences September 1, 2010 at 18:07

Kingbingo….Guido excels at several levels. Exposing hypocrisy in
Westminster lobby journalism and exposing excessive MP waste, expense
fiddling, preferential hiring and nepotism are primary themes.

The story relating to hagues latest hire highlights three of those
elements.

You say…..”Most members of the Westminster village have known that Hague is
Bi for more than a decade” So why is it important that electors not be aware
of this fact? Why do journalists hide this information?

Additionally why are personal friends with very little relevant or
practical experience being hired as assistants at a potentially high salary?
Your defence that hague should have discretion in the matter of hiring would
be acceptable for a private sector job if hague was the employer, that is
obviously not the case, the salary is paid by the public purse. There is a
right to know if we are receiving value from taxed income.

Guido has performed a useful public duty, the fact that sharing a hotel
room with the young man was alluded to and the homosexual lobby has reacted as
expected is unfortunate.

I think JuliaM stated the case very well despite your pedantic quibble with
the word entitle.

Kingbingo September 1, 2010 at 19:53

“So why is it important that electors not be aware of this fact? Why do
journalists hide this information?”

Because its non of your bloody business.

I could get a ladder and film you through the bathroom window beating off
in the shower and then claim it was a fact that your local paper should
publish, but I suspect you would have no trouble distinguishing private
then.

And please tell me the formal ‘qualifications’ needed to be a political
advisor?

This is just smears and accusations, and quite frankly if ####s like you
and Guido insist in gossiping and hounding based on hearsay and rumour then
all the good men will exit politics and your be left with the politicians
you deserve.

Woman on a
Raft September 2, 2010 at 00:46

Most members of the Westminster village have known that Hague is Bi
for more than a decade.

So it’s not gossip and rumour?

JuliaM September 2, 2010 at 05:27

“I could get a ladder and film you through the bathroom window
beating off in the shower and then claim it was a fact that your local
paper should publish, but I suspect you would have no trouble
distinguishing private then.”

But if he ran for a position in government on a ‘masturbation is bad!’
ticket, you’d be right to do so. That’s the point we are all making.

It’s not what he does, it’s that we are paying him to do it! It’s just
more sleaze and (yes), entitlement. It’s no different to the last lot, not
that anyone with an ounce of sense thought it would be…

Thaddeus J.
Wilson September 2, 2010 at 07:39

Forgive me for asking, but why is it that you feel that stating that
the whole “Westminster village “knows about Hague’s bisexuality is
not gossip or hearsay? And if it is truth, did you hear it from
Hague himself, or did you get this via gossip and hearsay?

electro-karen September 1, 2010 at 16:39

Very good !

Eleanor September 1, 2010 at 15:57

Isn’t this adultery? Or am I being old fashioned?

JuliaM September
2, 2010 at 05:23

Yes. And no, you’re not.

Kingbingo September 1, 2010 at 14:26

This is extraordinarily poor form on Guido

JuliaM September
2, 2010 at 05:24

“Now perhaps Ffion is not happy with her mans nature, maybe she is,
but that

JuliaM September
1, 2010 at 12:11

I neither know nor care whether Hague prefers boys, girls, goats, or all
three together.

On the other hand, if he’s using my money to employ unqualified boys, girls
or goats in positions of government to which their qualifications wouldn’t
normally entitle them, then that IS interesting….

Kingbingo September 1, 2010 at 14:36

JuliaM,

With the greatest of respect who an employer employs is not just a matter
of qualifications. In politics you can become PM with no qualifications. You
could even become PM without the ability to read and write. Similarly for a
political appointee all that is needed is that you share the politics of the
minister you serve and you can flag any political issues arising within the
work of that ministry. There is no formal qualifications, it

Kingbingo September 1, 2010 at 14:42

Sorry JuliaM, I do not mean to pick on you in the least, but I just
noticed this word

JuliaM September 2, 2010 at 05:21

“…taking a chance on someone who might have the right stuff and
dropping them if not.”

The problem being it’s hard to see what sort of ‘rught stuff’ this chap
may have had. Not only is he minimally qualified, but it’s not even as
though he has the sort of family connections that would be useful in
Hague’s role.

As DumbJon puts it: “Hey, let’s accept the Hague’s
defence at face value: he still hired a marginally-qualified youth to do a
non-job on the taxpayer’s dime. Hague may, or may not, have got laid, but
the rest of us surely got screwed.”

Sarbanes Oxley
September 1, 2010 at 11:23

What the man wishes to do in his private life is nothing to do with me, as
long as he is not doing ‘it’ to me or expecting me to pay for it.

Guido appears to be a bit fixated by Hampstead Heath this morning.

Joe Public
September 1, 2010 at 19:39

If he appoints an under-qualified, under-experienced SpAd (when
better-qualified candidates with proven experience are available) that us
taxpayers are financing – you will be contributing.

Bobski September
1, 2010 at 11:23

I still don’t get why the revelation that someone may or may not be gay is
news…

Hysteria September 2, 2010 at 00:44

agreed – this obsession by the British is sooo boring……

Thaddeus J.
Wilson September 1, 2010 at 11:15

There’s nowt so queer as folk.

As a Yorkshireman might say.