Will it never end?

No wonder they flock to our shores. Two immigrants have been given a £275,000 house, and guaranteed £600,000 a year in benefits for ten years. Not only that, but they are being encouraged by the authorities to breed – and we will have to support their children….

Are we mad? The country is broke.

Naturally their names have been changed to protect their ethnic identity.

Black, white, don’t care what colour they are, we can’t afford any more.

And the Media goes ‘ahhhhhh!’.

Grrr.

Demetrius December
5, 2011 at 15:39

Edward Heath, I recall was keen on pregnant Pandas, look what happened to
him. Why wasn’t there an exchange of politicians for Panda’s, I ask? I am sure
that the Chinese of Sichuan would have been fascinated to see how we fed and
watered and gave free housing to our politicians.

Adam
Collyer December 5, 2011 at 13:50

Why do the Chinese always give us pandas when we have a wet Conservative
government?

Livewire December 5, 2011 at 13:09

These things always end badly, in a panda story context.
Corstophine is
about to get the Regents Park experience.
Many moons ago the Chinese loaned
Chi Chi, a female and the Russians loaned An An, a male. Despite years of
candlelight dinners and Barry White music there was no patter of tiny panda
feet. The theory was that An An was either impotent or a shirtlifter, a theory
that plunged UK-Soviet relationships to an all time low.

In the 20′s there were tales of fiendish oriental plots centred around
Limehouse involving Shanghai’ing
and opium. The Chinese have moved on to
subtler methods, and only Prince Philip stands between us and the yellow
peril. Unleash him, he’s called the Duke Of Edinburgh so let him do some
‘dukeing’, “At least these pandas don’t have slitty eyes, you must have
marched in and looted them from Tibet”.

For the exactistas who sometimes read the blog An An may have been the
female and Chi Chi the male, but it was certainly the Russian one that was
deemed to be lacking in the trouser department.

Mudplugger December 5, 2011 at 12:39

How is a creature which relies on a diet of vegatables expected to survive
in Scotland ?

I suppose they could start eating their MPs……

Anna
Raccoon December 5, 2011 at 12:53

How are they supposed to survive amongst a starving population which is
quite prepared to eat deep fried Mars bars – I guess that’s why they are
behind bars.
Panda burgers must be an improvement on the Mars bars.
I
loved Old Holborn’s tweet yesterday – ‘They only been in Scotland five
minutes and already they’ve got two black eyes’. Inspired.

View from the
Solent December 5, 2011 at 12:22

A sensible view, http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jameskirkup/100010842/pandas-lets-just-eat-the-idiot-bears/

gladiolys December 5, 2011 at 11:33

This media coverage gets it right”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/pandas-already-drunk-201112054628/

Caedmon’s
Cat December 5, 2011 at 11:53

What took them so long…?