The Problem Child
The current ‘suspension’ of Jeremy Clarkson and ‘Top Gear’ as a whole is a dilemma for the BBC. They know it’s a popular series that brings in some of BBC2’s largest viewing figures as well as earning the Beeb substantial worldwide revenue, and that has always been Clarkson’s get-out-of-jail card; he’s been able to behave with increasingly unchecked recklessness over the past four or five years because he knows his position at the Beeb is that of a favourite son who can indulge in endless mischief safe in the knowledge that his father will forgive him, however stern each successive lecture of admonishment he receives for his behaviour. He has long had the Beeb over a barrel and seemed likely to keep them there until he finally did something they deemed beyond the pale by allegedly punching a producer.
Now, I’m not in any way proposing some sympathy should be shown towards Clarkson for his actions; I’ve never been a fan of him or his programme. At the same time, however, to punch a BBC producer is something many of us viewers have fantasised about whenever we’ve been exposed to some of the drivel the Corporation has churned out, especially in the prime time slots. I recently watched an episode of ‘Casualty’ for the first time in about twenty years, solely because one of my first childhood crushes, former Jon Pertwee Who sidekick Katy Manning, was guest-starring. I was genuinely taken aback by the poor standard of acting and writing, not to mention the instantly forgettable characters; it made ‘Neighbours’ resemble ‘The Wire’ – terrible clichéd lines delivered in a balsa-like manner unworthy of an am-dram society staging ‘Private Lives’.
It’s only when one regularly watches vintage mainstream BBC drama from 40-odd years ago via DVD, such as ‘Softly Softly: Task Force’ or ‘The Onedin Line’, that the realisation dawns as to just how low standards have slipped. TV drama of the 1970s is often accused of being ‘stagey’ by comparison to the slick, filmic equivalent of today, more informed by theatre than cinema; but that only really applies to the big-budget post-watershed productions of the 2010s; when it comes to the bread-and-butter prime time stuff, it’s far less convincing today. Drama of the 70s may have been made on a shoestring budget, but what it lacked in production values it more than made up for in the writing and in the superb performances of memorable and totally believable characters such as Stratford Johns as DCS Charlie Barlow or Peter Gilmore as James Onedin.
One has to remember, however, that the BBC in the 1970s was akin to a Hollywood movie studio of the 1930s, a busy hive of creativity that could attract the best in the business because there was only the solitary competitor; good ideas got the green light due to the fact that, even if they didn’t work out, there’d be another half-dozen good ideas in production that most likely would, ensuring there were the funds to finance the odd heroic failure. The situation is radically different today. TV Centre, Lime Grove and White City have all gone; everything is now crammed under one cramped roof at New Broadcasting House or exiled to Salford’s Mediocre City UK; the pressure to produce the goods is more intense than ever in a multi-channel TV landscape and pre-watershed drama is fairly low on the list of priorities, which is probably why it’s so bad. What count now are the big guns of light entertainment, stars of cheap and cheerful formulaic game and chat shows that draw in the largest viewing figures because, like a ready-made microwave meal, they’re utterly undemanding.
The BBC has had to deal with the ‘Clarkson Factor’ before, lest we forget – Chris Evans, Chris Moyles and Jonathan Ross all spring to mind, men who became monsters when the Beeb pampered and indulged them beyond their limited talents, paid them vast amounts and led them to believe the Corporation couldn’t survive without them. It’s no great surprise they eventually began to make demands in the style of a Middle East potentate; they were the adult incarnation of the child to whom the parent never says no. Apparently, Ronnie Barker’s favoured nickname at the peak of his powers was ‘The Guv’nor’; I have no doubt the prima donnas who command the highest fees and highest viewing (or listening) figures today regard themselves in the same light, despite lacking the undeniable gifts Barker had in abundance. Moyles’s infamous on-air rant when the wage that dwarfed the collective income of his listeners was stopped as his mouth began to match the size of the feet that he was struggling to squeeze into his boots serves as a good example of just how out of control such figures can become when they’re allowed to.
Tony Blair’s response to John Prescott’s gut reaction when egged by a mullet man on the 2001 campaign trail was to shrug his shoulders and declare ‘That’s just John’; the BBC’s response to Jeremy Clarkson’s numerous embarrassing faux-pas of late has been along similar lines. Whether offending Mexicans or Argentines or even lorry drivers, Clarkson has got away with it time and time again because he’s come to the conclusion that the BBC would collapse without his on-screen presence. Jeremy Paxman often exhibited regular bouts of puffed-up pompous ego on ‘Newsnight’, but to me Paxman was the inheritor of Robin Day’s mantle, his vanity a theatrical sideshow to his admirable ability to make our elected representatives squirm in a way nobody else in the scripted banality of political broadcasting could come near.
In comparison to the other Jeremy, Clarkson’s talents have always seemed less evident to me. Back in the days when ‘Top Gear’ was a ‘serious’ show dedicated to the internal combustion engine, Clarkson was the amusing interlude, playing the overgrown adolescent behind the wheel of a sports car, with his curly mop, tight jeans and litany of analogies sandwiched between earnest test-drives of the latest family saloon by the likes of William Woollard. When the series was revamped into a post-modern ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ on wheels, Clarkson’s comedy factor was brought to the fore as he was provided with a couple of stooges in the shape of Hammond the Hamster and the one who looks like he used to play keyboards for The Moody Blues. The three of them devoting more and more time to larking about on location rather than simply driving on an abandoned airfield was something that drew a favourable response from viewers and redefined the show as a light entertainment dish with a small side order of automobile information.
One could say the Beeb’s current problem child is another symptom of the Corporation’s seemingly never-ending ineptitude and inability to get a grip on its excesses. Just as Matthew Bannister was aware of what he was taking on when he pursued Chris Evans to present Radio 1’s breakfast show, the producers of ‘Top Gear’ must have been aware of the deal they were making with the Devil when allowing Clarkson to morph from minor court jester to celebrity gobshite, essentially Katie Hopkins with a five o’clock shadow. And now they find themselves stranded in another hole they’ve spent the past decade digging. Will Clarkson get the boot? Will ‘Top Gear’ continue without him? Do we care? Personally, not at all; but I do care that our public service broadcaster even regarded a mildly entertaining clown such as Jeremy Clarkson on a par with the writers, directors, producers and programme-makers who should be at the forefront of what the BBC is supposed to be there for.
Then again, nobody’s died…have they?
Petunia Winegum
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March 12, 2015 at 9:46 am -
Some people might get some pleasure out of hate
Me, I’ve enough already on my plate
People might need some tension to relax
Me, I’m too busy dodging between the flakWhat you see is what you get
You’ve made your bed, you better lie in it
You choose your leaders and place your trust
As their lies wash you down and their promises rust
You’ll see kidney machines replaced by rockets and gunsAnd the public wants what the public gets
But I don’t get what this society wants
I’m going underground, going underground-
March 12, 2015 at 10:27 am -
“I’m going underground, going underground”
and here the theme for the new Top Train….Clarkson on Public Transport
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March 12, 2015 at 9:56 am -
This reads is a bit like a Guardian writer trying to disguise his or her occupation
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March 12, 2015 at 10:20 am -
I guess you’d think that if you had got used to newspapers as the PR wing of Sky. There used to be a time when a paper like the Telegraph would have pooh poohed our national broadcasting being swamped by lowbrow trash and invoked Lord Reith. Long gone now, sadly.
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March 12, 2015 at 11:02 am -
Just trying to present a balanced point of view, not being a particular Clarkson fan, but aware many are.
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March 12, 2015 at 11:07 am -
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March 12, 2015 at 11:10 am -
Well, I am probably the best columnist…in the worrrld…
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March 12, 2015 at 11:30 am -
Who’s the best columnist? Is that an aggrieved thumping I hear from ‘upstairs’?
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March 12, 2015 at 12:52 pm -
March 12, 2015 at 1:36 pm -
“Is that an aggrieved thumping I hear from ‘upstairs’?”
“Pétunia…Pétun-nee-iaaaa…vill no von heEEd zee Kriez..” Seriously though, you should hear the Landlady praising Pet’s writing talent.
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March 12, 2015 at 1:30 pm -
“Well, I am probably the best columnist…in the worrrld…”
Indeed…if Carlsy Speshsul Bru made columnists… -
March 12, 2015 at 3:32 pm -
Not while I’m alive you’re not, Pipsqeak.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:33 pm -
Fight!
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March 12, 2015 at 3:37 pm -
Shan’t even get my coat dusty…no need to take it off.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:47 pm -
Now now, dear; don’t worry – there aren’t any Nazis loitering in the gents. The war’s been over a long time. You just get yourself back to bed and I’ll stick the Home Service on for you, okay?
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March 12, 2015 at 5:25 pm -
I said Egg and Soldiers, not Egg and Nazis, Nazis aren’t soldiers. And a proper cup of tea this time.
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March 12, 2015 at 10:01 am -
Is it really any surprise that the BBC has a history of employing “out of control” persons such as Clarkson, Evans, Moyles, Ross et al, when one considers the huge amount of money pouring into the corporation’s coffers via the viewing tax aka the licence fee – around £3.7 billion – and the contracts given to these individuals? When there exists an inner circle of these “tit suckers” being paid obscene sums small wonder that there is less to spend on the other productions.
As I’ve mentioned in previous comments I no longer watch TV or listen to the radio. The last time I had the misfortune to catch an episode of “Top Gear” I thought it was purile, banal tripe aimed at a teenage male audience. I know this will sound spiteful and vindictive but I hope the BBC drops Clarkson like a hot potato – serve him right in my view.-
March 12, 2015 at 10:23 am -
I’m not sure what your point is: that the BBC is awash with cash? These fools might individually be getting big sums but the truth is there is less cash now than there was. Hence cheap panel shows in place of expensive drama, clebs sitting on sofas jabbering rather than expensively made documenaries like Clark’s Civilisation etc.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:05 pm -
Listening to the BBC discussing their favourite subject (the BBC) this morning, I gathered the impression that Clarkson is both a Company (as was Jimmy Savile) selling his wares to the BBC, but simultaneously also a salaried BBC employee (which Jimmy Savile never was). So, does that mean he gets paid twice I wondered. No wonder they have to make students like Hannah Lingston do all the actual graft for no pay as Meeja Interns. What an industry it all is.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:22 pm -
I believe Clarkson sold his ‘company’ to the BBC for north of £8m a couple of years ago, so now he’s just a hired hand on PAYE.
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March 12, 2015 at 10:31 am -
ITV gets much the same income, and does far less with it, because naturally a big chunk goes to share-holders. Broadcasting is an expensive business, be it public or commercial. The difference with teh latter is that you don’t realise it’s costing you the same amount of money, because it’s hidden in the costs of everything that gets advertised.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:07 pm -
That sounds a bit like the argument in favour of the NHS.
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March 12, 2015 at 10:08 am -
Most of the thing with JC is that he says what most of us think and it comes right out (sometimes without engaging brain it’s true) and he then gets the offendo-nazis and bansturbators going.
I have always thought his usually minor but amusing antics are designed to show the whining and butthurt from the moany tossers in high relief and perhaps remind us that we still do have a right to an opinion, even if some nonentity somewhere gets the ache over it.-
March 12, 2015 at 10:32 am -
Jeremy Clarkson – Voice of the Common Man ™
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March 12, 2015 at 1:04 pm -
the Very Common Man
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March 12, 2015 at 10:36 am -
Who’s this “most of us” you speak of? Given that the vast majority of the population don’t watch Top Gear, Clarkson’s acolytes are surely in a fairly small minority.
Caveat: The number plate thing was nothing compared to the Argentinians making a pre-Olympics commercial with one of their atheletes doing step-up on a British war memorial, so Clarkson et al can have a pass on that one.
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March 12, 2015 at 10:43 am -
People don’t have to watch the actual program (I don’t myself, he doesn’t like motorbikes) for his general looning and sacreligious opinion to resonate with the regular people. I don’t have to watch the minutae of political debate to think that Milliband is a tosser, that muslims are piss takers, that feminists are batshit crazy; do you think that those are more or less the majority opinions for those of us outside the bubble?
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March 12, 2015 at 11:40 am -
In a truly diverse world all people would be able to speak they’re opinions whatever they are.
I do watch top gear and it makes me laugh-
March 12, 2015 at 12:41 pm -
Clarkson hasn’t said anything all that bad. Free speech covers that and everything else as far as I am concerned.
As for the punch–Prescott did the same–it was retaliation not self defence–Prescott’s ego took a blow so he lashed out. If any of us on this blog had done the same Plod would have been quick to make the arrest. We don’t even know the whole story of what happened with Clarkson anyway. “My dinner was late”–I somehow think there is more to it than that.
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March 12, 2015 at 10:38 am -
I must admit that I signed Guido Fawkes petition to reinstate Clarkson, not because I have any love of Jezza, but because fuck the BBC.
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March 12, 2015 at 2:43 pm -
THIS!
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March 13, 2015 at 9:05 am -
Seconded!
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March 12, 2015 at 10:47 am -
Never watch the childish Top Gear but millions do . It is very popular in Iran ! However Clarkson is a star ,very funny and a true British ‘bloke’. Why do multimillionaires delight in such dirty scruffy jeans ? My ideal answer would be to privatise the BBC as it is a service that is long past its sell by date and the compulsion to fund it by Government diktat is no longer justified . Clarkson said he is just off to the job centre ! LOL .
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March 12, 2015 at 10:47 am -
I’m not so sure just how “out of control” Clarkson is, compared to how out of control the behind-the-scenes Stalin Brigade at the BBC are – a storm in a pint case? I sense foul play – mischief and spin from within, from the management and backroom boys who resent Clarkson his outspoken popularity. He seems a perennial hate figure in the same Jimmy was – upapologetic blunt Northerner who might also be right-of-centre and who’s very existence makes all the bedwetter’s cry (and some of the witters on Twitter directed his way this week defy belief).
I used to enjoy Top Gear back when it was an intelligent magazine show about cars and driving – but then again, cars used to be infinitely more discussable. It reached an apex in the late 80s & early 90s – Chris Goffey, William Woollard, Sue Barker, Tiff Needell, Quentin Wilson and, yes, Jeremy Clarkson in his ‘pre-caricature’ days. The birth of Cartoon Clarkson coincided with John Birt’s commecialisation of the BBC – within a year of that appointment ‘Top Gear’ was born a brand, and Jezza was making successful spin-off VHS videos featuring him crashing cars he didn’t approve of into trees and so on… He doesn’t bother me – he can be entertaining but I don’t personally bother with Top Gear anymore (and haven’t for about 6 or 7 years) for the same reason I don’t bother with 99% of populist TV. The format wouldn’t work on a commercial station as it would be interrupted by intrusive ad breaks, but it is hugely popular.
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March 12, 2015 at 11:48 am -
Whatever JC has done is small beer compared to many politicians, the luvvies are out to get him in the BBC. It must grate in the Beeb that his show is so successful and anything he does it put under the microscope by the offencerati.
Haven’t heard them complaining about Cadbury’s new product advertised on the TV—- “egg ‘n’spoon” which should blow a few gaskets in the luvvies when they realise what this is in Cockney rhyming slang
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March 12, 2015 at 10:51 am -
It appears that the person who got punched has been consistently a “junior producer”; the BBC doesn’t have such a post. They do have “assistant producers” and it appears that that APs are essentially gofers on short-term contracts, doing whatever they’re told for an average day rate of £170.
It’s not yet clear what actually happened, but according to some reports the dispute arose because Mr Clarkson wanted hot food and the unfortunate employee told him that only cold food was available. Will we see the estimable presenter hauled up in court for assaulting a junior employee?-
March 12, 2015 at 10:51 am -
Bother, it should be “consistently described as a “
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March 12, 2015 at 10:53 am -
My bullshit radar went on ‘full alert’ when I heard said gopher had already ‘spoken to his lawyer’…
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March 12, 2015 at 10:56 am -
OH! Snap!
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March 12, 2015 at 10:55 am -
‘A lawyer for Mr Tymon said his client “intends to await the outcome of the BBC investigation and will make no comment until that investigation is complete”.’
A lawyer? Really?
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March 12, 2015 at 11:55 am -
“junior producer”; the BBC doesn’t have such a post. They do have “assistant producers”
IMDb says he has been an assistant producer on 66 episodes of Top Gear and a producer on 9, otherwise a producer/assistant producer/production coordinator on other programmes.I’m sure I’ve seen a quote somewhere from some famous figure (or a comment about them?) on how a person’s character can be judged by how they treat their “subordinates”, but I can’t remember who it was.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:55 pm -
Another day, another lawyer.
“The producer is entitled to a safe working environment and could argue that if Clarkson was left unpunished by this then the BBC have breached his employment contract, entitling him to resign and claim constructive dismissal. There is also clear case law that employers should not consider third party pressure and demands when making a decision relating to matters such as this.”
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/jeremy-clarkson-row-birmingham-employment-8825892-
March 12, 2015 at 1:12 pm -
Way to go, drag your employer’s name through the courts and then try getting another job…”sorry Mr. X, there’s just nothing suitable now, call back in another month…rinse and repeat)
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March 12, 2015 at 5:43 pm -
I’d have a lawyer if some arse attacked me at work and it got into the papers. Pretty sure that the Clarksonites will have their knives out for Mr Tymon so he needs to look after himself.
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March 13, 2015 at 8:58 am -
Firstly, I very much doubt JC would thump a girl, he is too much of the gentleman for that. Secondly of course, if that plonker of a director or whatever could look after himself, he would have knocked JC on his arse and they’d be best of pals now – it’s how men work!
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March 12, 2015 at 10:51 am -
The thing is, the Top Gear loving public *want* that light entertainment dish. We want the last of the summer wine escapism the show provides – before we get to our second childhoods as the characters in TLOTSW did….
What we don’t want is a reminder of the tedium and strains of real modern life – which for most has a heavy degree of utilitarianism forced on us. What People Carrier or What Rep Mobile just reminds us of the choices we have to make, not the ones we would like to.
Likewise, Clarkson get away with saying and doing things that none of us in our private or public sector workplaces could – without losing our jobs. The PC dictat handed down from on high chafes. Even if we agree with the basic premise of said values, being forced to wear them like a harness on pain of unemployment or ostracisation (or even prosecution these days) feeds a basic human nature – freedom. We rebel.
Top Gear allows a small release – knowing that somewhere, someone is saying what may of us are thinking. There is a leader of the rebellion, and we are not alone. It’s not the liberal values we object to – it’s the illiberalism of having them shoved down our throats.
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March 12, 2015 at 10:59 am -
This is interesting – in his May 2007 Top Gear Magazine column, Jeremy Clarkson suggested that he would like Chris Goffey back on the programme and would prefer a more serious approach but that the show’s audience wanted them to “cock about”
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March 12, 2015 at 11:17 am -
Can you blame us? Old Top Gear was depressing for the most part – talking about boring, functional cars we have to buy, rather than want to. I’d much rather watch new Top Gear play with sports cars and try and put a Reliant Robin into space.
I’d also say that Clarkson, May and Hammond seem to express genuine emotions a lot of the time when doing their challenges, where other shows are and their presenters don’t seem to. These presenters look like they are pre-programmed to express certain feelings about something, and the show presented in such a way to force us into mirroring it.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:09 pm -
“genuine emotion”… Oooh daaaaarlink……
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March 12, 2015 at 11:10 am -
I have to say that I rather enjoy ‘Top Gear’; like most people, I find cars almost completely uninteresting, and the genius of the show is to turn the whole thing into an extended series of comedy sketches rather than some earnest discussion of grommits and rear axles. Did you know that there was apparently a plan to get Noel Edmonds to present it before Jeremy Clarkson?
It is, in fact, almost the only television that I watch, the rest being such dross, and I watch it to relax rather than to engage my mighty brain.
I do, however, watch various shows made for children, with mine, such as ‘Doctor Who’ and ‘The Musketeers’. ‘Doctor Who’ is, apparently, classed by the BBC as adult drama. The pleasure, like the Sherlock Holmes stories, is in watching the character rather than the plots, which are usually pretty stupid – the last one that I watched revealed that the moon was, in fact, a giant alien egg. ‘The Musketeers’ is strangely camp, with our heroes dressed head-to-toe in leather, like male versions of Mrs. Peel. Despite some hat-tips to classic French literature (the latest featured a reference to ‘the Court of Miracles’, which is lifted from ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’), I can’t help thinking that the BBC would have been better employed adapting the original novel rather than butchering it of its characters and dropping them into new plots. There’s an obligatory black Musketeer, of course.
Its adaptations of Dickens are, without exception, ghastly, although various character actors stand out – Gillian Anderson in an otherwise execrable ‘Great Expectations’, and whoever played Krook in ‘Bleak House’. David Lean’s versions are better. Perhaps when the boxed set of ‘Wolf Hall’ comes out I’ll give that a try.
Still, I can’t complain; I watch this stuff on my computer, and so avoid paying the TV license. I do find it astonishing that despite an annual income of over £5 billion, which comfortably dwarfs any comparable media organisation, the BBC is unable to produce – let alone show – programmes of the quality of ‘The Wire’ or ‘Breaking Bad’, which we have to buy as boxed sets of DVDs. And don’t get me started on its arts programmes; Fiona Bruce (!) having been apparently promoted on the basis of being able to tell what a picture is.
In the meantime, I feel that we should support someone who, en passant when reviewing cars, points out that Greenham Common was home to ‘several hundred lesbians’. And not the smooth, honey-coloured ones that I can also find on my computer, but the hairy, booted ones who read ‘The Guardian’ and run the BBC. No wonder they hate him!
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March 12, 2015 at 11:13 am -
I seem to remember when the show first appeared in the late 70s that Noel was one of the original presenters, him and Angela Rippon, I think.
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March 12, 2015 at 2:44 pm -
Indeed, your memory serves you well.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:52 pm -
People such as yourself are actually breaking the law. To watch any BBC programmes on the iplayer you must have a TV licence.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:03 pm -
… only if at the time of broadcast, although they are seeking to change the law.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:10 pm -
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March 12, 2015 at 4:13 pm -
I was reading that Lord Birkenhead wants the License Fee dropped and replaced by a levy on every household, whether they watch telly or not. The next Poll Tax perhaps?
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March 12, 2015 at 11:17 am -
Little Noely was the main anchor ’79 to ’81, then William Woollard took up the baton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWuZyRsRxWU-
March 12, 2015 at 12:06 pm -
No wonder no-one watched it.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:08 pm -
Once Quentin Wilson was booted off I watched no moor. He could make an Austin Princess seem interesting.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:11 pm -
Shit anchors and shit cars.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:31 pm -
Shit car with shit anchors…
https://youtu.be/dCwqZDdT8-M-
March 12, 2015 at 1:01 pm -
At it’s zenith it was a magazine show about cars for people interested in cars, a weekday slot on BBC2. Well-research and presented, and if you weren’t interested in motoring you wouldn’t watch it anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlfMxNccYys
In the 21st Century, cars and motoring (and, quite frankly, people) are boring and Top Gear was reborn as peak-time entertainment. I thought it worked well for a while but, like every good concept the BBC have (see also: the revived Dr Who) what starts off excellent is quickly milked into mediocrity
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March 12, 2015 at 2:15 pm -
Also a time mid-80’s when the Thatcherite boom led to cars and which car to have being a big thing. The annual August number plate binge was a TV staple and red Escorts or Astras fuelled the explosion in Company Car issue. Avoiding tax? Us plebs? Perish the thought….
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March 12, 2015 at 3:19 pm -
They did have cars before Thatcher came along (the Hillman Imp, for example). Mind you, there was a six-month wait if you ordered a British car, because they were on strike most of the time so couldn’t keep up with demand. The Italians supplied their cars pre-rusted, the Japs had yet to work out reliability, French cars only worked if they felt like it, and the German and Swedish cars were good but very rare and horrendously expensive.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:26 pm -
The underlying rust on late ’50s, early ’60s Vauxhalls, Wyvern, Velox etc seemed to have been factory matured. It was almost as if they had some religious compulsion to be the most holy
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March 12, 2015 at 4:08 pm -
There used to be a whole industry devoted to rust-proofing your car underneath after you’d bought it – it used to beigin with a Z I think….. A bit like how we used to buy brand-new houses and then have all the windows replaced….
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March 12, 2015 at 4:37 pm -
Japs were always reliable cars – and the early Datsuns were effectively BMC/BL cars taken to bits, analysed and re-engineered to be more reliable – and sold back to us, all the mechanical problems ironed out. The ‘Jap Scrap’ reputation was partly down to the fact that we resented their invasion of our market, and also down to the one thing they did get wrong was lightweight construction and poor rustproofing which gave them a tinny feel.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:46 pm -
Ziebart… he was the kiddy.
“It used to be offerd by dealers back in the 60’s and 70’s on the UK. My dad used to have his Austin 1100 and alegro’s done with it and let’s face it they did need it being the worst rusting cars I have known. ”
http://www.theminiforum.co.uk/forums/topic/48676-ziebart-rust-proofing/
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March 12, 2015 at 11:26 am -
If Clarkson has any sense, he’ll sack the BBC. He’s not short of a bob or two, and several other broadcasters will be delighted to employ him; maybe one of the up-and-coming ones like BT, who will do anything they can to grab market share. It’ll be a bit of a loss to the Beeb, but they’ll get over it like they’ve got over other losses of so-called ‘talent’.
There was a photograph in the Telegraph of the ‘producer’ allegedly involved in the said ‘fracas’. Well, there was a photograph of an unshaven, apparently hung-over student; if that’s the measure of BBC producers, no wonder their broadcast output is lamentable. All right, can’t always judge by appearances, but sometimes first impressions can be remarkable accurate.
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March 12, 2015 at 11:28 am -
…or even ‘remarkably accurate’. Damn keyboard…..
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March 12, 2015 at 3:30 pm -
“All right, can’t always judge by appearances, but sometimes first impressions can be remarkable accurate.”
I saw that picture too – studied it in fact. Mainly ‘cos I was trying to figure out what it was about that face that made me so sure it was half of a civil partnership at best, that it lisped slightly when it spoke, that it would wear an annoying self satisfied half smirk when it told you after a hard days filming – trying to get everything right because a lot of useless twerp’s jobs depended on you doing so – that the kitchen was closed for the night but you could have a ham sandwich, and No! Actually, it wasn’t ‘its’ job to make sure you got a decent meal at the end of the day, and ‘it’ didn’t appreciate you raising your voice like that, it would report you to management if you didn’t apologise…
Eventually I could visualise it squealing ‘anywhere but the face darling’ as I smashed my fist into its nose…..
I found it quite satisfying, and I was only imagining the scene.-
March 12, 2015 at 5:01 pm -
That’s funny ‘cos I seem to have read somewhere that the assistant producer had gone off somewhere with his girlfriend…..
Not that it matters. You don’t push around the help because you think you’re above it all. Not if you are Naomi Campbell or Jeremy Clarkson.
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March 12, 2015 at 6:17 pm -
Rather depends on how much needling and slyness the ‘help’ has been doling out – and for how long; and how much you’ve put up with it. Nobody throws a strop just because dinner’s soup and a roll instead of a steak, but if it’s the staw that broke the camel’s back….
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March 12, 2015 at 11:39 am -
“as his mouth began to match the size of the feet that he was struggling to squeeze into his boots”
I like this description! Whatever happens with JC, I think it will just as interesting to see how the producer fares.
http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/content/nuj-says-bbc-not-doing-enough-tackle-harassment-and-bullying-workplace-
March 12, 2015 at 12:53 pm -
I remember hearing the reason Mark Lawson was given the boot from R4’s ‘Front Row’ was something to do with ‘bullying’ on his part.
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March 12, 2015 at 12:58 pm -
He resigned.
But now the bully is back in the belly.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/11227534/Bullying-row-presenter-Mark-Lawson-returns-to-BBC.html
“The bullying investigation was carried out by a senior manager from BBC Manchester and two executives from the Corporation’s human resources department. The complaint detailed “a culture of bullying and a failure of management to protect staff”, according to reports. Lawson has denied the bullying allegations but said there were “editorial arguments”.-
March 12, 2015 at 2:38 pm -
Will “editorial arguments” become a new Private Eye euphemism?
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March 12, 2015 at 6:41 pm -
I rather think Private Eye itself is the euphemism these days
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March 12, 2015 at 11:53 am -
March 12, 2015 at 12:03 pm -
Come on guys… It’s the same people who whine about insufficient cycle paths and the driver is always to blame for any accidents. The sort of people who vote left because they think it’s cool to do so. The PC brigade who has thinking carefully about what we say. I could go on… It’s a car programme. I like cars and I like bikes so I watch it. It’s funny at times and dull at times. But the level of PC is much much lower than probably any other prog on TV.
The BBC is a crazed organisation that is biased to a degree that makes it unwatchable.
Casualty? The same Scot every week for years and years and so does the spin offs. Tedious! I would say that!!!!
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March 12, 2015 at 2:40 pm -
Come on guys… It’s the same people who whine about insufficient cycle paths and the driver is always to blame for any accidents. The sort of people who vote left because they think it’s cool to do so. The PC brigade who has thinking carefully about what we say.
My Daily Mail-reading father-in-law couldn’t be further from the above stereotype, yet he loathes Top Gear. Then again, he is a driving instructor.
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March 12, 2015 at 1:35 pm -
Clarkson is, to coin a cliche, a Marmite figure. Again. I’m not advocating punching people at work (or anywhere) as a general rule, but I have to say there are some occasions and some people who would deserve it. I also think that there is a cadre of “liberal” management at The Beeb who loath Clarkson and all “the man in the golf club” values he represent. These include the po faced guru pf political correctness and management speak Danny (note Danny, not Daniel – down with the kids eh?) Cohen, (£327,000 per year – yes, £327,000) the BBC “director of television”.
Top Gear has been bringing in £50 million a year for the Beeb. In that sense, Clarkson has done a great deal more than anyone for the institution. Certainly more than a man who as former head of BBC 3 invested the Beeb’s funds in shows such as “Snog Marry Avoid” or “Hotter than my daughter”.
Of course I don’t know, but t sounds like a spat after a fractious and frustrating day, with lots of plunging blood pressure all round. Not much to see here, move on.
I will merely add that there is a serious side to Clarkson. If you have the time, check out his documentaries on late his father in law’s VC won at Arnhem, and his follow up piece on the Great Raid (on St Nazaire). Both masterpieces of story telling and respect. For that, I will always cut him some slack. I suspect Danny Cohen has never heard of the Great Raid, or Arnhem.-
March 12, 2015 at 1:42 pm -
“Danny Cohen has never heard of the Great Raid”
No but now you’ve mentioned it, he’ll ‘bags’ the title for an upcoming reality game show show….I see BenefitStreetfatties, mobility scooters and supermarket aisles in Liverpool…motorized 5 finger discounting….
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March 12, 2015 at 2:17 pm -
He has heard of The Great Raid, but he thinks it was something to do with George Soros.
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March 12, 2015 at 2:47 pm -
Just out of interest, what do you think the salary of someone overseeing a budget of £1 billion should be?
Snog, Marry, Avoid might not be your cup of tea, but the BBC caters for tastes wider than your own.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:19 pm -
Good Question: Not quite the answer but an interesting comparison, I hope. From published Annual Reports:
2011
BBC Total Income: £4993m
7 Directors Remuneration: £2560K (ie £2.56m)
Dir General: £622K2010
Assoc Newspapers Total Income: £1984m
DM Subsidiary – Total Income: £850M
14 Directors Remuneration in Year (7 of which paid less that £100k): £13384K (ie £13.384M)
Group Chief Exec: : £1290K
DM Chief: £2785K (incl one off lifetime recognition bonus of £1000K)And the DM moans daily about the BBC. As do a lot of others elsewhere
To parody someone else above, might it be the case that the DM could afford to employ proper journalists and produce some quality output if they didn’t pay their management so much?
(FWIW, spend comparisons are hard to make as reported E’EE numbers are a bit meaningless, given freelance reporting and external production company inputs)
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March 12, 2015 at 3:24 pm -
One difference about commercial operators is presumably that they have to pay tax on some of their income/profit streams.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:30 pm -
In 2014 BBC Accounts show ‘The net tax liability of the BBC on its taxable profits’ as £35M
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March 12, 2015 at 3:32 pm -
Should have said that its commercial income for same period was £1340M
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March 12, 2015 at 3:43 pm -
£132M at ITV presumably. 605-473
http://www.redmayne.co.uk/research/securitydetails/financials.htm?tkr=ITV-
March 12, 2015 at 4:08 pm -
Yeah, but a better overall comparison should take into account the the dividends payable. They are not shown (and I can’t find the 2014 Annual Report).
However, if you look at the 2013 figs – and I have only had a very quick look – their Annual Report shows that they declared two dividends worth £300m. On a comparable basis, and this isn’t the best description but all I could think of right now OTTOMH, that’s more like an owner’s tax, for which there is no equivalent at the BBC, ie some sort of payment or rebate to you and me.
And in effect – regardless of what you think of the BBC’s wisdom or otherwise in its use of its retained funds – that’s money stripped out, that at the BBC would be carried forward for future operational use
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March 12, 2015 at 4:10 pm -
Kept handy to to pay for Savile’s Travels perhaps.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:41 pm -
I remember him being a guest on a Danny Baker discussion show on 70s albums on BBC4 last year and he actually came across as intelligent and knowledgable. Makes me wonder how much of a ‘Clarkson character’ he plays the rest of the time.
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March 12, 2015 at 3:47 pm -
That’s easy to believe. It’s a bit like how Ed Balls might appear to come across as extremely repulsive in his public performances, but we can probably be sure that he’s only moderately so in private
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March 12, 2015 at 8:56 pm -
Although it might be that he – and his fragrant wife – are actually even more revolting in private than they are in public.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:44 pm -
“I remember him being a guest on a Danny Baker”
You listen to/watch Danny Baker?! Dear God, I had thought better of you and shall be moving you nearer the bottom of my top ten list of writers-what-is-intellingenter-than-me-is !
When I lived in London in 2003, the girlfriend (otherwise a woman of intelligence and taste despite being French) insisted on starting the day with Danny Baker on the radio. Can you imagine having to ‘wake up’ (ie sit at the breakfast table smoking and pouring litres of coffee into me) to anything *other* than the Body Count and The Plight Of The Spotted Crested Greeb Finch on Radio 4?!? *shudders*
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March 12, 2015 at 4:49 pm -
Danny Baker and Chris Evans helped destroy Gazza, a true genius. Detested them both ever since. baker does some show at the weekend and is unsufferably up himself anyway; he usually has a silly girly alongside to simper and giggle at his witty erudition. Cannot bear it.
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March 12, 2015 at 5:02 pm
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March 12, 2015 at 5:23 pm -
Yes, and all the furore about him having allegedly talked about shooting strikers was taken utterly out of context.
That said, fame corrupts. I haven’t any time for slebs roughing up the staff.
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March 12, 2015 at 5:26 pm -
Slebs v Plebs…. Bring it on!
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March 12, 2015 at 5:52 pm -
It’s a pity that chef had gone home for the day : they make ’em a bit rough up Yorkshire way. ……might have been quite a fight.
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March 12, 2015 at 5:57 pm -
Two BBC wallahs? Handbags darling.
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March 12, 2015 at 1:53 pm -
On another note, I quite enjoyed Poldark last week. I remember the first go so many years ago, it was required watching on a Sunday night. Even at a young age some things struck me about it: the excellence of Robin Ellis as Ross, the charming Angharad Rees as Demelza for example. Then there was the brilliant and sadly late Ralph Bates as the scheming George Warleggan. There were other aspects which I regarded as less satisfcatory. I could never fathom Ross’s supposed infatuation with Elizabeth; she was just wet, drippy and ugly. Also, it was readily apparent that the sets had been built by primary school children using sticky tape and cardboard, and in their spare time too.
The new version is rather more glossy, and it appears that the new Ross has been on a body building course in the colonies. I understand the show is a hit with the ladies. In that sense it has borrowed quite a lot from the 1990’s version of Pride and Prejudice, with which it has quite a lot in common. The things that seem to make these shows a success are as follows:
– A brooding chap with tight breeches
-Said brooding chap in tight breeches riding about a lot on a big horse (hello, Dr Freud!) looking vexed
-The brooding chap being either super rich or noble or both. But brooding.
-Said brooding chap getting his kit off at regular intervals and diving into the pond/sea/custard – anything really, as long as he gets all wet.
-a fit bird (preferably a redhead) who he doesnt know he is in love with yet, but we all know he going to bang the arse off in the end
-a smooth villain (George Warlegggan/Wickham) who has to be “on top” but get his arse kicked in the end
So now we all now how to write a hit novel, I’m off to pull on my breeches, ride my horse and sweep up the nearest red headed urchin girl I find. I expect my case will come up next week.-
March 12, 2015 at 2:21 pm -
Spotted some breathless fem journalist in the MoS last weekend, gasping about the brooding brute in britches, and recall thinking to myself that come next week she’ll be writing how some disgusting brute in britches deserved to go to prison for his disgusting 70’s-style attitude to the fragrant sex all those years before and thank god justice has finally been done.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:03 pm -
For some curious reason, a bastard in breeches is fine (see Heathcliff), whereas any man today treating a modern woman as an 18th century gentleman would is a dead cert for arrest. Maybe we should all go back to breeches and tricorn hats? I wouldn’t mind, actually…
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March 12, 2015 at 4:03 pm -
Stand and deliver!!
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March 12, 2015 at 4:04 pm -
I reckon I’d be quite happy as the dandy highwayman you’re too scared to mention!
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March 12, 2015 at 4:09 pm -
Diana Dors was a fan, but then she liked a dandy man… allegedly
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March 12, 2015 at 4:56 pm -
Only if we could have zip flies. I had a pair of trousers once with fly-buttons. Never again…..life is too short for that sort of fiddling about.
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March 12, 2015 at 5:04 pm -
True – an 18th century gent would probably have had a man-servant to do all that for him, but I can see how that might be misconstrued today.
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March 12, 2015 at 5:12 pm -
Reading “Brave New World”, it is evident that the zipper is a huge erotic motif in the 1930’s…
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March 12, 2015 at 2:50 pm -
“I understand the show is a hit with the ladies.”
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March 12, 2015 at 3:43 pm
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March 12, 2015 at 2:52 pm -
Perhaps we could have a new motoring show on channel5 with the presenters JC, Ched Evans and John Terry—see if we could blow a few luvvies gaskets
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March 12, 2015 at 8:57 pm -
With special guest stars Dapper Laughs, Rolf Harris, and Gary Glitter.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:32 pm -
Difficult to believe that this BBC is descended from the BBC (radio) that was a beacon of hope to occupied Europe during the war and that people there listened to it despite the dire penalties for doing so.
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March 12, 2015 at 4:41 pm -
Top Gear ceased to be about cars many years ago, it’s now just an entertainment programme which uses cars as a starting theme for a wide range of humor-based diversions, none of which are relevant to routine motoring. It is interesting to note that more than 50% of the audience is female, something which earlier the versions of Top Gear (or any other ‘motoring programme’) could never muster, even with token girlie presenters banging on about where to hang their handbags in the latest Fiesta. It’s just three blokes messing about and has proved astonishingly popular and marketable – it knows its market and plays to it.
But behind all this, one can’t help thinking there’s a tad of serendipitous timing going on. There’s a close election just a few weeks away and maybe the left-leaning Beeb couldn’t believe its luck when presented with a golden opportunity to silence just about the only remaining right-of-centre voice to be heard on it nowadays.
But just imagine if Clarkson decided to stand in the election for UKIP – won a seat, then got onto the Culture Media & Sport Committee, allowing him open-season on the Broadcasting House lefty-lentil-and-rug-munching luvvies. I’d pay good money to watch that.
Coming Soon – Top Gear Mk3, hosted by Natalie Bennett, she of the Green Party – she knows a thing or two about car-crash broadcasting !
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March 12, 2015 at 4:53 pm -
JC for MP, would be a laugh, the luvvies would choke in faux outrage
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March 12, 2015 at 5:21 pm -
“But just imagine if Clarkson decided to stand in the election for UKIP”
I’m saying nowt – but a punch in time, saves nine….months of arguing as to how to get out of your contract…
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March 12, 2015 at 5:23 pm -
About time we had a Celebrity Party
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March 12, 2015 at 5:39 pm -
Clarkson is far from “the only remaining right-of-centre voice to be heard on [the BBC] nowadays.”
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March 12, 2015 at 7:27 pm -
And the others would be?….
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March 12, 2015 at 9:27 pm -
They seem to have got rid of Meiron Jones… he was a bit Rightist, but rarely right.
“Went to see Tom O’Carroll last year likes of him depended on support from Harman and many others in liberal establishment”
https://twitter.com/MeirionTweets/status/436996631985401856
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March 12, 2015 at 5:18 pm -
Top Gear attracts the strangest fans. My 21 year old female cousin over from Jo’burg forced me to watch all the specials over Xmas and whatever else she could find on iplayer. I hadn’t seen it for years and hadn’t realised that it had morphed into a kids’ programme hosted by a big bully and two smaller toadies. When I pointed out to her that the whole ‘dangerous doings /rip roaring’ thing was being carefully managed from behind the cameras she said she didn’t care: it was still fun. Any point about his ‘non PC’ persona had sailed right above her head and to her Clarkson was just on a par with the idiot teenage pranksters she watches on youtube.
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March 12, 2015 at 5:40 pm -
Similar to people who voted for Boris Johnson because, “he’s a laugh,” then?
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March 12, 2015 at 7:29 pm -
In all of time and space Ken Leninslime was the one and only reason ever to vote for Boris Johnson. And only because it was a vote against Kenny boy.
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March 12, 2015 at 8:37 pm -
Thing is different people like different things, I like fast cars and enjoy a joke so I watch Top Gear, but I know not everyone likes it.
I don’t enjoy other popular TV series, we’re all different and we like different things.
I don’t sit there having a misery cause people watch something I don’t like, good luck to them and I hope they enjoy it.
There are lots of channels, watch what you like , enjoy life !
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March 12, 2015 at 10:06 pm -
These things always happen to a friend of a friend. A former colleague had been, in a previous incarnation, a receptionist at a large Rotherham hotel. Clarkson stayed there during the making of his episode of “Who Do You Think You Are”. Said colleague assured me that when dealing with his perceived “inferiors”he is every inch the overbearing, loud, boorish twat you’d imagine!
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March 12, 2015 at 11:34 pm -
I have started to really tire of the boorish oaf, the smug, irritating shortish one and the anodyne 60’s throwback, to the point when I think I’ll just stop watching. Maybe I’ll be saved the trouble of making this decision, as surely ‘The Orangutan’ has just stepped over the line once too often.
I used to really like to watch Top Gear but I wince when I see the less than subtle allusions to ‘Man Love’ and other silly schoolboy humour and the casual instances of racism, with which the show has recently been peppered.
Clarkson has, as Petunia says, got far too big for his boots. WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT HIS OPINIONS ON THIS, OR THAT AND WHY ARE THEY CONSIDERED EVEN REPEATABLE, OTHER THAN FOR THE FACT THAT THEY ARE, LARGELY OFFENSIVE?? Clarkson is a bit like that other great ‘British’ institution, Prince Phillip. And his opinions are about as relevant.
I liked it for the cars. I find the increasingly bizarre ‘missions’ that the presenters are sent on to be pointless, other than for occasional breathtaking views.
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March 12, 2015 at 11:43 pm -
Good. Find your TV manual, and look up the index for ‘Off Switch’.
You’ll feel so much better, as will those who like what he does and wish there were more like you
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March 13, 2015 at 9:26 am -
* Find your TV manual, and look up the index for ‘Off Switch’. *
You sound like my dad…
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March 13, 2015 at 7:11 am -
Clarkson is a twit and if he has assaulted the producer there must be consequences.
What strikes me as odd about the whole thing is the apparent attitude of the hotel. Surely with the cast and I assume crew of Top Gear staying, this would be a perfect opportunity for the hotel to go the extra mile, so to speak, and enhance its reputation. Would it really have killed them to keep the kitchen open later than usual? It is the “hospitality” industry after all.
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March 13, 2015 at 9:00 am -
I doubt if it would have made much difference to their local reputation. Out here in the sticks I wouldn’t expect to get a hot dinner anywhere after nine except on a Saturday night. There seems to be neither the staff nor the demand.
As it happens I read that Clarkson got his steak in the end,but I don’t expect to read his positive review on TripAdvisor anytime soon.-
March 13, 2015 at 9:10 am -
I recall once stopping at a restaurant in the popular New Forest area – not so long ago… 1990’s? It was about 2.15.
“The chef finished at 2.”
“Oh – sandwiches?”
“There’s no chef until 5 I’m afraid.”-
March 13, 2015 at 5:49 pm -
But… while you are undoubtedly a ‘big cheese’ on this blog, you are, effectively, just another ‘punter’ in the real world, outside the snug. Perhaps you should have tried ‘chinning’ someone…
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March 13, 2015 at 9:00 am -
* It is the “hospitality” industry after all *
New to England are you?-
March 13, 2015 at 9:17 am -
No – I’m an Aussie. And our hospitality standards leave something to be desired, too.
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March 13, 2015 at 9:39 am -
That’s just part of our Legacy to you… * proud *
Not to worry though, you should see the state of the States…
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-americans-prudes/
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March 13, 2015 at 9:07 am -
I understand the BBC paid 5,000 to take over an entire wing of the hotel for a week – out of season.
Clarkson earns millions for the BBC.
If a hotel, so blessed with that custom, and the BBC, so blessed with that employee, couldn’t between them ensure that a hot meal was available – even at 3am if necessary – then there is something terribly wrong and it isn’t the pious ‘oh, his language was terrible’ or even the ‘if you think its OK to hit a subordinate’ – its more a case of how the Hell do you think you are worth whatever the BBC is paying you as an assistant producer, if you can’t sort out a minor problem like that – fry the bloody steak yourself on a primus stove!
Your job is to sort out problems, not smirk when your star is inconvenienced. Too much ‘ritual humiliation’ TV been watched by someone I think.
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March 13, 2015 at 9:13 am -
He’s probably been hearing the leaks from Dame Smith’s report about the “BBC Kultur Krieg”.
Today Clarkson. Tomorrow the rest of the wicked Elite.
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March 13, 2015 at 9:40 am -
A question for all those who detest Top Gear, why do you watch it then? Or do you all own TVs that only show BBC2 and have no off switch? There are hundreds of channels these days or, failing that approach, maybe read a book?
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