You know where you are when Miss Piggy minces onto your plate encased in her own duodenum; but when the Blonde Mangalitsa arrives in a burger that you have been assured by the âhighly respectedâ BBC is 29% âMy Lidl Ponyâ your average Jihadist recoils in horror. There are some tenets of the Koran that simply canât be broken; not when a government agency can be sued for damages.
The Islamic suicide bombers on âDâ wing are in uproar this morning; not only locked away from the 72 virgins they had been grooming, but fed âtraces of pork DNAâ in their burger and chips by the infidel prison authorities.
When Shergar turned up in our burgers, Tescoâs was still flogging (a dead horse) a week or so later; the prison authorities have reacted with more alacrity. No sooner had the dawn broken over Wandsworth prison, than the Ministry of Justiceâs contract with the firm supplying them with Halal meat was suspended.
Juliet Lyon, director of the Prison Reform Trust, said: âThis lapse will have offended and distressed high numbers of Muslim prisoners and their families so apologising, suspending the supplier and investigating the incident are the right steps for the Ministry of Justice to take.â
I am puzzled as to how this âlapseâ was discovered, for the BBC web site says:
[…]the results of the tests, undertaken by an independent agency, became known on Thursday.
A spokesman said: âAll prisons have been informed about this very regrettable incident and we reported this issue to the Food Standards Agency immediately.
Surely it is the Food Standards Agency which is the expert body to conduct these sort of tests? Anybody know who was the âindependent agencyâ, and who was paying them to uncover this âscandalâ?
I find it hard to believe that the Muppets at the cash strapped Ministry of Justice decided âout of the blueâ to check that those in its care (who had already broken a multitude of Koranic laws) were being fed in accordance with those beliefs?
I smell Porkies.