Muff Marching in Marylebone.

I would dearly love to write fiction â but how can one compete with the truth? The media continue to churn out (reasonably) factual stories that I could not dream up with the help of a gallon of Absintheâ¦
With the Eurozone disintegrating, wars looming in all four corners of the world, the starving on every continent, and the polar bear population increasing â the Guardian today is promoting yet another âdesperate situationâ for the rent-a-protester to attend.
The feministas are congregating in Marylebone demanding âHands off our Muffsâ. No really, I know the idea had never crossed your mind, but just in case, you are being warned off.
It seems that some women are daft enough, and rich enough, to engage Harley street surgeons to practice âvaginal rejuvenation, designer vaginoplasty, G spot amplification and revirginationâ in a desperate attempt to acquire the perfect vagina.
Quite what comprises the perfect vagina, other than âready, willing and ableâ, is not explained.
This of course, couldnât possibly be an example of free will on their part; it is yet another example of women being forced into subjugation by nasty men and thus must be marched against, demonstrated against, campaigned against, by the feminista Muffia. It is being compared to the genital mutilation forced on young girls by some religious practices. *sighs*.
Surely you have overheard a man in the pub telling his wife on his mobile phone, she had better have her designer vaginoplasty by the time he gets home, or else?
Activists will be wearing âfake muffsâ and demanding that cosmetic surgeons âkeep their hands off our muffsâ.
We donât buy the neoliberal rhetoric that insists this issue is not political because women âfreely chooseâ to get procedures like this done. The cosmetic surgery industry ruthlessly stokes womenâs appearance insecurities and mines their bodies to extract maximum profits. Accountability, monitoring, and auditing are not words this industry is used to.
We hope our Muff March will spark a wave of activism against cosmetic surgery and the porn culture which distorts our body image. For too long theyâve reaped massive rewards. Itâs time to fight back.
Will we see #occupymuffs trending on Twitter tonight?
December 11, 2011 at 10:00
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Feminists protesting against a womanâs right to make her own choices?
Quelle surprise!
December 10, 2011 at 23:05
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Having given this topic more thought I shall send my CV to the local
council who are sure to create a job to regulate the appearance of the female
genitalia.
Job Title?
Senior Vaginal Alteration Prevention Inspector
My team will be called
the â Snatch Squadâ
Taxpayers Money used at council for fannying about should be business as
usual.
December 11, 2011 at 09:02
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âMinge Unshaven Forceâ ?
December 10, 2011 at 20:44
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Just think of the next season of ICGMOOH. New meaning to Bush Tucker Trial
?
December 10, 2011 at
20:11
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Why would porn showing shaven women lead to a stampede to Harley Street?
Have Sainsburyâs stopped selling razors for buttons? Hold on, Iâll just
check.
No. They havenât.
Silly woman.
December 10, 2011 at 20:01
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Well, Iâm all for a generous welcome mat, but, reallyâ¦
December 10, 2011 at 19:47
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This is simply a natural extension of liberalism. Your body is not yours,
you are not competent to make decisions, therefore the liberal elite will
cajole their friends in government to legislate to ban/compel/tax (delete as
appropriate) it and make your decisions for you.
December 10, 2011 at 19:44
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Seeing those âyoung ladiesâ just reminded me of Sean Conneryâs comment in
âDiamonds are Foreverâ
âI donât mind â so long as the collars and cuffs
match.â
December 10, 2011 at 19:11
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When I saw the picture I thought they were âsave the rainforestâ
protesters. It looks like they have the Matto Grosso just below their
navels.
The lefties send out the wrong message again.
December 10, 2011 at 18:37
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I suspect they are just âmerkin aboutâ?
Historical note â based on a Police career, followed by running a Newsagent
shop.
In the not-so-distant-past it was totally forbidden to show ANY trace of
pubic hair in printed publications in UK (check sp â OK!)
Then it became âacceptableâ â so long as magazines were only available to
persons over 5â² 8â³ tall (On the top shelf)
Then there was a âworrying trendâ for depilation. Why âworrying? â because
paedophiles would then be tempted to look at obviously mature ladies and
fantasise (Wonât anyone think of the KIDDIES â oh yes, they do?)
SO â how to establish that each âmodelâ was old enough to be âlegalâ? If
there was any doubt â print a sequence of photos showing her skill with
soap-suds & a razor
December 10, 2011 at 19:13
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Thatâs what I like about this blog â itâs so educational.
However, for the ladies in the picture, may I venture to suggest that a
razor may not be up to the challenge. Perhaps a Flymo might be more
suitable?
December 10, 2011 at 21:48
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Or an electric hedge trimmer.
December 10, 2011 at 18:35
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The girls in the picture remind me that a term to describe dyed blondes was
âairport blondesâ, an oblique reference to Blackbushe Airport near
Camberley.
December 10, 2011 at 18:21
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The young ladies in the picture seem to have developed a new garment to
keep their {deleted} warm in the December chill. I canât see it becoming
fashionable, though.
One wonders if they have used natural fur, or risked the static electricity
side-effects of nylon, which would add a whole new dimension to the phrase
âMakes your hair stand on endâ.
December 10, 2011 at 18:19
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If I remember correctly, we toasted, buttered and ate our muffins by the
fireside, while mum looked on.
December 14, 2011 at 12:14
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Perverts!
December 10, 2011 at 18:17
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Are they all going to carry signs reading âOccupyâ?
December 10, 2011 at 17:58
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âHands off our muffsâ sounds like âIâm happy to pay more taxes.â Thereâs a
âyouâ missing, as in âHands off your muffâ or âIâm happy for you
to pay more taxes.â
December 10, 2011 at 17:42
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Pub quiz question, âWhere do women mostly have curly hair?â
Apparently the correct answer was not what you thought, but Africa.
December 10, 2011 at 16:59
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Do you recall the lady handed an ASBO for excessively noisy
copulation ?
Perhaps she had had âG-spot amplificationâ.
Get some Viagra too : use a combi-amp.
Î Î
(Yes, I know : itâs not supposed to make it bigger ⦠Thank
you.)
December 10,
2011 at 16:45
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But how do you keep your hands warm if you canât use your muff?
This has
to be some sort of conspiracy by the glove manufacturing industry.
December 10, 2011 at 16:34
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Oh FFS â canât these weirdos find real causes for concern if they really
must ease their privileged middle class consciences?
December 10, 2011 at 16:25
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Just a load of cupid stunts
December 10, 2011 at 16:17
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This in no way can be blamed on men. Never in the history of shagging talk
have I heard a man say he refused a Muff due to shape, symmetrical appearance
or whether it is an âinnieâ or âoutieâ
We are really not the connoisseurs of cunnie that women seem to imagine. We
are usually just pleased to be invited to the field of play.
This is about womens self image, created by womens insecurities by womens
magazines being rejected and protested by the usual bearded ladies of the
left.
It is not the shape of the fanny that matters to men when they steer clear
of the hairy marxist monsters of the guardian but the fact they are man hating
commies who fail to smile, wash & make an effort to attract a mate.
December 10, 2011 at
16:57
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We are really not the connoisseurs of cunnie that women seem to
imagine. We are usually just pleased to be invited to the field of
play.
lol! So true, brother, so trueâ¦
December 10, 2011 at 17:58
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True indeed.
I recall one occasional partner who was always concerned to âprepare
the groundâ before any encounter and was equally concerned that I
recognised her pride in both its structure and appearance. As if I gave a
shit at that momentâ¦â¦ !
December 10, 2011 at 16:13
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Miss Mockett writes âSo on Saturday weâll be challenging the demand from
pornography that grown women remove their pubic hair â¦.â
What a sexist statement.
Is she blind to the fact *pornographers* also demand grown men remove pubic
hair? [Or so a mate who’s seen some of their movies informs me.]
December 10, 2011 at 16:01
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Having recently acquired OAP status thereâs no pressure from me to pretty
up a pudendum. Keep the bloody thing covered up I say.
December
10, 2011 at 16:00
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How times have changed since families gathered in front of the TV to watch
âMuffin The Muleâ.
December 10, 2011 at 17:52
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I believe youâll find that muffinâ the mule was made illegal under the
Sexual Offences Act (â69).
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