Friday Limerick Competition
The too-Coldingham Turbine…
Though a turbine to some may seem pleasing
When it’s blowing quite briskly or breezing,
In the winter’s deep chill
When the air is quite still
They need heaters to keep them from freezing.
If to own them you still do aspire
As the subsidies mount ever-higher,
You should know that a gale
May well cause them to fail
And a hurricane makes them catch fire.
And though you might call it a shame
And look for somebody to blame
For the money you’ve lost,
You have found to your cost
That wind-power’s a zero-sum game.
Which makes this week’s competition the topical one of wind turbines and ‘green’ innovations – do your worst!
Last week’s winner was Mick Turatian with this effort on deposits in the central banking area of occupy lsx protest…excellent!
Get in touch Mick and the Willie Warmer is all yours. (do check sizing, there have been complaints….)
December 10, 2011 at 18:57
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All those who were caught in the storm
With no heating will think this
poor form:
For the whole world despises
Those who boast of their
prizes
But MY willy will be lovely and warm!
December 10, 2011 at 20:08
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Dear Mick, I salute your ability
And forgive you your lack of
humility,
For when all’s said and done,
The object you’ve
won
Would, for me, lack a certain utility.
-
December 10, 2011 at 23:22
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You are kindness itself Miss macheath:
I expected a smack in the
teeth.
I do like a pal you
Can take at face value
Overlooking
what lies underneath.
- December 11, 2011 at 13:15
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*applauds riotously*
- December 11, 2011 at
18:00
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*blushes at wholly unmerited accolade*
and I loved yours too but most of all your very first one with “A
red sky at night / Means your turbo’s alight” which I would nominate,
if permitted.
December 9, 2011 at 21:23
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A bird-brained D.A. in the State
of Dakota was weighing the fate
Not
of the “nice”
Windfarms,
millions they slice
But bad oil firms who
killed twenty-eight
http://tinyurl.com/3eaqfap
– I can’t believe I’m
referencing a limerick
December 9, 2011 at 17:13
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All birds breathe a sigh of relief
As slicers tumble to the heath
The
ones still standing
Help planes with landing
As beacons to foolish
belief
December 9, 2011 at 16:53
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A turbine installed at Ardrossan,
one night, in a gale, had it’s brakes
on,
the wind was so strong,
that it didn’t take long,
to bathe the
night sky fecking crimson.
December 9, 2011 at 16:07
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I just thought I’d enter to say,
That those wind-powered turbines are
gay.
It’s like one gentle puff
Is never enough,
And a blow-job just
blows them away.
December 9, 2011 at 16:15 -
Is there an ‘o’ in puff?
-
December 9, 2011 at 20:27
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When Limerick writing, it’s felt
You should deal with the letters
you’re dealt.
So it really unkind
When poetically blind
Start to
nit-pick about how it’s spelt.
(I suppose that’s blown my chances of this week’s willy-warmer
now).
-
December 9, 2011 at 20:28
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And I even screwed up the third line:
“So it’s really unkind”
December 9, 2011 at 15:54
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There once was a man from Eastleigh
Who thought that coal power was
rather beastly
With one fell swoop
He scooped our loot
And spent it
on environmental lunacy
December 11, 2011 at 18:39
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Lets hope the CPS get the bastard….. but I’m not holding my breath
December 9, 2011 at 15:42
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Is macheath’s effort really about wind turbines?
If you take out turbine, it sounds more like Gloria’s bloomers to me!
- December 9, 2011 at 15:53
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I assure you, Saul, I am far too much in awe of Ms Smudd to presume in
that way – however, now you come to mention it…
- December 10, 2011 at 17:09
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By the way, where is Gloria? A limerick contest without her is
like Rumpelstiltskin without the princess.
(Or do I mean Rapunzel?)
- December
9, 2011 at 14:53
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May I kick things off?
When the rain falls in sheets like a curtain,
There’ll be plenty of wind
soon for certain,
But a red sky at night
Means your turbine’s
alight
And your subsidy’s gone for a Burton.
December 9, 2011 at 14:51
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There once was a Turbine called Stan
Who happily hummed as he
span
Till one stormy day
To his owners dismay
His high C flamed out
with a bang
December 9, 2011 at 13:59
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Off topic. What a very nice christmas card in the top right hand corner.
- December 9, 2011 at 14:06
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I agree – very festive!
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