The Devil is always in the detail.

Time was when the only civil service ‘perk’ was the tea trolley merrily clanging its way along the corridors of power; they have become much more sophisticated at accruing ‘value’ to themselves.

From ergonomically designed chairs to ease the pressure of sitting there all day dreaming up new ways to relieve the taxpayer of his cash to esoteric training and bonding courses in expensive hotels, they are past masters at justifying anything spent on themselves.

No need to produce spread sheets showing how this will result in increased sales or productivity; the union reps simply demand that this or that is purchased for their members…….

I turned my microscope on a few small items listed in the accounts of the Office of the Public Guardian – of particular interest because the ‘income’ of this particular government department is derived from legally plundering the bank accounts of those too mentally incapacitated to be allowed to control their own finances.

You need to be aware that no member of the public ever enters the rarefied offices of this organisation – everything is conducted by post and telephone…

Why, therefore, did they require an increase of approximately 86% in the £22 million pounds they had extracted from the accounts of the mentally incapacitated? What could a mere 481 members of staff possibly be doing with all this money, that they needed to raise another £18 million?

One answer is that they have ‘an extended business plan’. Naturally. Doesn’t everybody? Part of this involves moving to a more ‘central location’. Birmingham. I will grant you that Birmingham is more central than London – but what difference does that make to customers who never visit the office? ‘Managing the change’ that this involves always looks good on the CV of a senior civil servant.

They are ‘managing this change’ by reluctantly ‘letting go’ (not compulsorily retiring!) the 177 experienced staff in London who found that a mere four weeks notice was not sufficient to allow them to relocate home and families from the London schools and homes they had occupied for the past ‘n’ years and move to Birmingham…….

Now those senior civil servants can claim to have ‘provided employment’ for several hundred inexperienced staff from the Birmingham job centres…..those CVs are looking good; not so good is is the 9,227 complaints they received as a result.

As ever, the Devil was in the detail. My spy in the building tipped me off to some unusual figures in the accounts. It took a Freedom of Information request to extract the information.

Why did a central London office with a mere 177 staff require an Automated External Defibrillator at a cost of £1,200 pounds plus training for £565 training courses for the 12 First aiders? (Each training course only valid for six months!) Particularly in light of the fact that (taken from redacted internal e-mail)

As regards defibrillators, I would urge caution. Once installed, people have to be trained to use them. This training has to be regularly refreshed, and when people move on replacements have to be trained. The equipment itself must be regularly serviced and maintained. If you neglect any of this you could be in trouble. I say this because the Royal Courts of Justice had defibrillators fitted but over time they neglected to keep them maintained and to train sufficient people. When someone collapsed people wasted time trying to get the defibrillators working, which didn’t look too clever. There have been no repercussions, thankfully, but there might have been. Once you have the kit, there is a duty to keep it in correct use. On the other hand, in some cases, it may save a life.

The 177 got their defibrillator, and trained the 12 staff to use it, just in case a central London ambulance couldn’t get there in time. Now that it is an established ‘need’, naturally another one will have to be bought for Birmingham, and another 12 staff trained – can’t have them having less facilities than London did, can we?

But then again – what is this?

On the 9 February 2009 anti-bacterial hand gel dispensers were installed for use on each floor at all sites to improve health and hygiene. Facilities advise that we still have in store a good supply of hand-gel and dispensers.  The use of anti-bacterial hand gel was an important requirement in the steps taken to manage the swine flu pandemic and continues to be a preventative measure.

Can’t find out the individual cost of this, but it apparently cut the number of ‘sick days’ amongst the 177 from:

Sick absence days in 2008/09 totalled 2,907.  In 2009/10 the number days lost from sickness decreased to 2,372, a reduction of 535 days.

Even though the ‘Swine Flu Pandemic’ never materialised. Nor any member of the public ever set foot in this office….

Had they done so, they might have been surprised by the baskets of fresh fruit on each desk, including a ‘mix of apples, pears, bananas, Satsuma’s and plums.’ All paid for by the most vulnerable people in society.

The fresh fruit and hand gel cost a mere £26,000 per annum. Yes, that was £26,000. For 177 people. £150 a year each. A lot more than the proposed increase in pension payments for the average employee earning £20,000 a year.

Naturally I was keen to learn from my spy in the office whether these fruitbat cosseted creatures were on strike today, on account of being asked to contribute more to their pension. He looked out of his window.

‘Can’t see any sign of activity, difficult to tell the difference’ he said.

I had to phone the Ministry of Justice to find the answer. Yes, they are on strike. All 177 of them.

Absolutely outraged that they couldn’t find a way to get the elderly widows, children, and severely brain damaged to fund the increase to their pensions. They are being expected to pay for that themselves. Can you imagine?

Bah!

whataloadoftosh
December 9, 2011 at 13:18

Jeez, some people will believe anything. Hey guys, ‘gullible’ isn’t in the
dictionary, why don’t you prove me wrong?

EJ December 4, 2011 at 15:12

Erm, you’re talking bollocks, you know that right?

I used to work for OPG – in fact I probably know your “spy” in the building
– and while I can’t vouch for the figures (I no longer work there, and no
longer care generally), I can vouch for the fact you have been lied to.

The “Fruit Baskets” are NOT on every desk – yes, there are fruit boxes
delivered, two per floor twice a week, but certainly not on every desk, and
not every day.

OPG does NOT “raid the bank accounts of the mentally incapacitated” – if
someone does not have capacity under the Mental Capacity Act 2005 they cannot
apply for a Lasting Power of Attorney (The mainstay of the OPGs work) anyway.
The charges are relevant given the services rendered, and while yes, they
could be lower, they also do not force anyone to take out a power of attorney:
it is a choice made by the donor. The money given by the Government also
covers – shock, horror – the remitted fees of those on a low income who cannot
afford to pay the full price. Yes, that’s right, if you can’t afford one then
the Government subsidises you.

With regards to being on strike, the largest team in that office is made up
almost exclusively of temps. I highly doubt they were on strike on
Wednesday.

And as for your final piece of unmitigated bullshit: the ergonomic chairs.
The chairs in that office are shit, monumentally so, and are in fact the cause
of repeated problems with my back. Funny thing it my new place (Also within
the civil service) has supplied a better (But not properly ergonomic) chair
for me, and the pain has subsided, allowing me to work for longer hours
without having to get up.

Next time check your facts before you publish, and for God’s sake don’t
trust what one lone nutter says!

Anna
Raccoon December 4, 2011 at 15:32

“and for God’s sake don’t trust what one lone nutter says!”

Oh, I am so, so, very, very sorely tempted to tell you who you just
called ‘one lone nutter’ – the temptation is almost overwhelming, but I must
resist.

*Bites knuckles*

*Wanders off into distance giggling hysterically*

EJ December 4, 2011 at 17:09

Even if it is Martin John himself (Who, in my personal opinion, is a
cock) I couldn’t care: what amuses me about your response is that it
deflects, and fails to respond to anything I’ve said. The truth is either
you were lied to by your “source”, or you in turn have embellished the
story by some margin.

Care to admit which?

Anna
Raccoon December 4, 2011 at
18:19

My source doesn’t lie – and I have copies of all the internal emails
to back up what he told me.
Nice try.

EJ December 4, 2011 at 18:41

So it’s you embellishing the story then eh? While I admit it has
grounds in truth (There are indeed gel dispensers on every floor) what
you’ve said is exaggerated: “baskets of fresh fruit on each desk” and
“legally plundering the bank accounts of those too mentally
incapacitated to be allowed to control their own finances” being the
biggest exaggerations. Even your statement that staff “found that a
mere four weeks notice was not sufficient to allow them to relocate
home and families from the London schools and homes they had occupied
for the past ‘n’ years and move to Birmingham” is horse-shit – I
started working there over 18 months ago, and even then we knew the
office was being relocated to Birmingham. The only question was over
when the unions stopped fucking about and delaying it. The majority of
right-minded staff in there had no intention of ever moving to
Birmingham, and transferred while they could. This is why it is
largely staffed by temps or fixed term contractors, because all the
“proper” staff left many moons ago.

Your source – whoever he is – HAS lied to you, I can assure you of
that. He’s either got an axe to grind against OPG, or he doesn’t
actually work there (Which might explain why he didn’t know straight
off who was or wasn’t on strike), and therefore has no detailed
knowledge of what goes on inside OPG. He probably works in the same
building, maybe at CAFCASS or COP. Emails are all well and good, but I
defy you to provide photographic evidence of the “fruit baskets on
every desk”.

Alex December 4, 2011 at 23:06

Hmm, now who to trust – the public sector leech defending his interests,
or the messenger, who has nothing to gain from reporting this story….

EJ December 5, 2011 at 07:11

Did I defend any of this (Except perhaps the ergonomic chairs, which do
cost a bloody fortune and are given to those with medical proof of back
problems, which personally I think is fair enough)? I always thought the
fruit box was a stupid idea (Don’t get me wrong, I ate my fair share of
the fruit when I was there, I just couldn’t understand why they gave it to
us) and I’m not sure I ever used the hand gel dispensers.

My issue here was never that it’s fair and right that public sector
workers (Leeches? You’ve never worked in the public sector mate – under
paid, yes, incompetent, often, but leeches? The guys at the top could
quite probably be described like that, but guys like me, at the bottom
most certainly aren’t.) get stuff like this, my issue was with the
accuracy of the report. It’s simply not correct. As I’ve maintained, it is
grounded in reality, but has been grossly exaggerated. There are far worse
wastage crimes in the public sector, both at OPG and at my current place
of employment (and no, I’m not going to share them with you), I just think
if you’re going to pick on the public sector (and please do – I’d quite
like to pay a lot less tax thanks, and I heartily believe in smaller
Government, which is why I walked through the picket line on Wednesday)
then try to get it right.

Steve Pett
December 3, 2011 at 09:49

Latest scam from the OPG (apart from massively increasing the cost for poor
people to register Lasting Powers of Attorney).
The increased fees came in
on 1st October. So what did they do? To increase income, they stockpiled a few
days post which arrived in late September, then wrote to those people to ask
for more money (up to £260 for a poor couple) because their applications
“missed” the deadline.
The OPG are utterly out of touch with the real
world, where the people they are charging extra can’t afford fruit every
month, never mind delivered to their desk every day.

bloke in spain
December 1, 2011 at 17:44

@ Can’t remember my moniker

Terrible, terrible…..(Oh, just the coffee, por favor) ….absolutely
terrible.

Robinson December 1, 2011 at 07:50

Actually, two points: I know a company (a profit making enterprise) that
supplies free fruit to its workers. And we also had gel dispensers put into
our workplace (again, a profit making enterprise) to help reduce sickness
absence. It was just a sensible thing to do and came highly recommended by the
UK’s foremost expert on virus transmission (who happens to be a close relative
of the MD).

But I don’t think either of these things should cost twenty grand, so
something’s gone wrong here!

SadButMadLad December 2, 2011 at 16:28

We’re a tiny little company (10 people or so) and we get free biscuits –
every now and then; when there any left over after VIP meetings. We also buy
each other nice cakes on special occasions using our own money.

I can’t say that public workers should work in spartan environments with
nothing to make them enjoy their work. They are working just like anyone
else. But you do see the odd occasion where the fourth law of spending money
is in use*. In private companies it’s generallythe 2nd law that is in play.
The line gets blurred because most public organisations are big and even big
private companies can be quite wasteful of their money as Stephen says above.

* See Friedman.

terry November 30, 2011 at 21:23

The carnage Labour and their selfish socialist hypocrite public sector
workers have wrought is shameful. These people are as low as the bankers, the
benefit cheats and the embezzling politicians. Out for themselves, one and
all.

Can’t remember my
moniker November 30, 2011 at 21:04

You could not make this stuff up, could you?

I have to say though, looking out over the Adriatic, how debilitating this
strike has been for me. The first half hour was sheer hell and then it just
got worse. How was it for you, in a manner of speaking?

Alex November 30, 2011 at 20:16

The question going round my head is which member of staff has a relative
that owns the company that provides the expensive six monthly first aid
training?

Mark November 30,
2011 at 16:57

Nearly three weeks’ sick leave taken each, on average, too. Can’t be bad.

Keep shining the light on these poor civil servants, so we can all see how
badly they’re treated.

RayT November 30, 2011 at 14:10

I used this office to put a Lasting Power of Attorney in place for my 95
year old father in law. Our solicitor completed the forms and obtained our
signatures on 13th June and despatched them immediately, the documents were
returned to our solicitor in November ! One week after my father in law died.
£850 wasted.
If we need cuts in the Civil Service start here and give the
work to solicitors.

Anton November 30, 2011 at 23:08

Here bloody here; let solicitors do it all in house.

JuliaM November
30, 2011 at 13:54

“Had they done so, they might have been surprised by the baskets of
fresh fruit on each desk, including a ‘mix of apples, pears, bananas,
Satsuma’s and plums.’ All paid for by the most vulnerable people in
society.”

*speechless*

Joe Public
November 30, 2011 at 19:46

I totally agree Julia. They just can’t get staff with the education to
know when an apostrophe shouldn’t be used.

JuliaM December 1, 2011 at 05:44

There were reports on Twitter yesterday that a teaching union member
was holding a placard on the march that said ‘Hand’s off our pensions’.

I really, really hope someone took a photo!

SadButMadLad December 2, 2011 at 16:19

Your wish is my command.

http://angryexile.blogspot.com/2011/12/greengrocers-in-public-sector-strike.html

Ed P November 30, 2011 at 13:52

Any “Pilgrims” amongst this work-shy group? If there are, they are possibly
being paid AND striking…

Olly November
30, 2011 at 15:17

If you go here: http://taxpayersalliance.com/unionfunding2011.pdf

Look for the office of the public guardian in the research you will see
no pilgrims recorded but there is a note (64) saying that OPG is part of the
ministry of justice. That in turn has a note saying not recorded but there
is another reference (235) and I quote:

“Refused to provide the information because it is not recorded and would
therefore require contacting all representatives and checking diaries to
ascertain the time spent on Trade union duties.”

Quelle fucking surprise.

Major Bonkers
November 30, 2011 at 13:47

A bit bizarre that they’re wasting money on defibrillators, given that the
London office is bang next door to the Whittington Hospital. All that stress,
I expect!

Major Bonkers
November 30, 2011 at 13:50

PS – which has an A&E department, cardiovascular medicine department,
Heart care department, and is additionally a teaching hospital.

Barry Sheridan
November 30, 2011 at 13:21

Very interesting Anna. 150 pounds per capita on fruit. Umm, what about the
expenditure on toilet rolls? That must be up there are well!

Livewire November 30, 2011 at 14:05

Make them peel the fruit and save on bog rolls by wiping their arses with
the skins.
Oh and limit the fruit choice to prickly pears.

Complete simpering wankfest on the BBC about the strikes, they might as
well dub
heroic music on it like the Soviets used to do with film of
peasants scything fields, and that’s not me being idealogical, there I can’t
even spell the word so how could I be accused of it?

Nigel S November 30, 2011 at 13:19

Time to revert to the original title ‘Masters in Lunacy’ and the old
staffing levels too.

Olly November 30,
2011 at 13:09

Jeezuz wept sweet tears…..

STARVE THE BEAST!

Tim November 30, 2011 at 13:07

Just to point out also that anti-bacterial hand-gel would have been largely
useless against swine flu – which is viral not bacterial.

Noise November 30, 2011 at 13:03

Yes, our engineering department is averaging 1.5 sick days per year over 30
staff.

I suppose the issue is, if you’re in education for 20 years not working,
retired for 40 years, to support a £30K salary you’d need tax to be at over
70% for everyone else.

I am one of the 70%, not even earning above average wage. So I cannot
fathom why I should support others who think they do.

Stephen November 30, 2011 at 13:00

I recently worked for a large private sector company in which the ethos
described in the above piece prevailed. It seems this ethos is found in large
organisation, public or private, that have “budgetary slack”, or too much
money and time on their hands. These large organisations tend to have large
H&S functions, over manned HR departments, and bureacratic internal audit
departments, most of which absorb resources with little discernible payback.
Organisational size, rather than ownership (public v private), seems to be a
better predictor of such waste. I do hope the author is not having a pop at
the public sector out of ideological reasons.

JuliaM November
30, 2011 at 13:58

“Organisational size, rather than ownership (public v private), seems
to be a better predictor of such waste. “

Except of course, with those private companies, it’s their OWN
shareholders’ money they are wasting. So who cares?

They’ll either be turfed out by those shareholders, or the company’ll go
bust.

davidb November 30, 2011 at 20:17

Unless its a bank or a privatised utility.

Pompey Cowboy
November 30, 2011 at 17:32

I have worked in both private and public sector. There are some FAT Cats
no doubt in the public sector— but many public sector workers on ordinary
wages do not do well. ( Teachers are well above the normal public sector
wage by the way) Yes they have pensions– but they do pay pension
contributions for these. Many in private sector or self employed dont
contribute anything to a personal pension plan, and of course SE people dont
pay so much National Insurance as ordinary workers. Then they wonder why
they have no pension. Where I work in the public sector we are threatened
with disciplinary action if we have more than 3 or 4 days sick leave a year,
if we need to use our cars for work we are only paid 25p per mile. Expenses
are ruthlessly policed with Internal Governance brought in at the drop of a
hat

T. P. Fuller
November 30, 2011 at 12:59

@SisterEvaLongoria

>Whilst I am all for a decent pension for public sector workers

Me too. Provided they pay for them themselves. Your rant is spot on!
More strikes like today’s, please — I haven’t noticed a thing, and I very much
hope we’re not paying them for their petty and spiteful day off.

SisterEvaLongoria November 30, 2011 at 13:20

Thank you TP. Bring it on!

davidb November 30, 2011 at 20:16

Quieter roads here. Wonderful. And the taxpayers ( for BBC, it is their
money not the governments) saved perhaps £200 million pounds in wages. Keep
them out…

donald November 30, 2011 at 12:49

But what of the sick days?

If it was only 177 staff racking up 2907 missed days then that is 16 each
and way above even the most bloated competitors in the public sector, let
alone the UK as a whole..

Matt Wardman
November 30, 2011 at 12:45

Back on form.

Ciaran November 30, 2011 at 12:45

Why do they even need a pension? Judging by the number of sick days,
they’re already semi-retired anyway, on full pay.

Jeremy Poynton
November 30, 2011 at 12:41

Company I left in 2006, having joined in 2003, closed its final salary
scheme to EVERYONE in 1987. Took our company cars. Buggered up our pensions.
Gave under inflation pay “rises” the last five years I was there. Now what I
did save foe my pension has been raided by the ghastly ogre Brown, and I now
find that the drawdown I am having to live down is to be cut by 1/6th in a
couple of years. The tax I pay still goes to pay the pensions of public sector
workers, and the buggers are out there whingeing like no-one’s business.

Arse. Let them eat bread and cold herring, like many of us will be having
to do in a few years.

Chromatistes November 30, 2011 at 15:09

A shrewd move to close in 1987, when the scheme would almost certainly
have been in ‘surplus’, even after the October 1987 crash. The Flatland
pension scheme – of which I’m reluctantly a trustee – remains horribly
underfunded, despite over a decade of deficit payments.

What’s a company car?

Chromatistes November 30, 2011 at 12:32

… whilst in Flatland Ltd, the final salary pension scheme was closed to
accruals 15 years ago, since when annual Wellman/Wellwoman checks for all
staff have ceased, Private Medical Insurance has gone, Long Term Sickness
benefits cut back severely, the staff Christmas party is a cheapo do to which
partners are no longer invited, etc. etc.

Oh, and real salaries are down by 10%, with no career progression
increments.

Bring on the Colour Revolt!

Jonathan Bagley
November 30, 2011 at 12:27

They don’t have much confidence in the health-improving properties of fresh
fruit. Ditch the bananas and add some cranberries and blueberries instead.

SisterEvaLongoria
November 30, 2011 at 12:23

Whilst I am all for a decent pension for public sector workers, the balance
has swung far too far in their favour. The salaries are now very high, the
pensions are way above what most of those in private sector can ever hope for
(unless they are a bonus rich banker) and the system is simply un-affordable.
It cannot be sustained. In short THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY.
I sense no
great public support for this strike at all. The government cannot back down.
Failure to do so leads ultimately to the Greek situation. Bankruptcy and
collapse. The government should withdraw its offer and take a
hardline.
Sorry for the rant!

JuliaM November
30, 2011 at 13:56

This afternoon’s ‘Jeremy Vine’ show was interesting.

He had two public sector workers – a mental health nurse, and a teacher –
on to put the union case and let’s just say that if the Beeb had wanted to
show the public sector in a bad light, it’s hard to see how they could have
picked a better pair…

Dioclese November
30, 2011 at 12:17

Up to your excellent standard of reporting Anna. Had I not seen some of it
myself from the inside, I would perhaps doubt the veracity of this – but not
for long!

The phrase ‘outrageous!’ cmes to mind. And this is only one department…