Trawling Labia for the G-Spot.
Today we learn that Britain’s finest, those lantern jawed, snake hipped men of Hereford and Worcester are on their hands and knees conducting a finger tip search of Labia’s mysterious hills, vales, and hidden crevices looking for the mysterious G-Spot. Apparently, until the G-Spot is located and exterminated, the earth cannot move, and the sticky, sweet substances that our government desires will not flow.
[Ed: Anna, dear, it’s Libya not Labia. Start again please].
Whoops, he’s after Snuff Porn not Soft Porn. Will do. Over and Out.
Today we learn that Britain’s crack team [Ed: Careful Anna!]
Today we learn that Britain’s Glorious 22 Regiment of SAS Troopers are on the front line in Libya helping the rebel forces to conduct a search for the spot where G may be found. Apparently finding G, or Gadaffi as he is sometimes known, is essential to restarting the flow of oil.
The last time the SAS were in Libya in 1942, they flattened Benghazi (I’m not counting their unfortunate meeting with pitchfork wielding farmers) this time they have switched allegiances and are helping to flatten Tripoli. This is behaviour we normally attribute to mercenaries; those unloved ‘foreign soldiers’, and frequently slandered thugs of war. However, because the SAS are paid by the British Government, as opposed to any other government, they are not called mercenaries, but honourable soldiers.
I am confused as to why it is now acceptable to hunt down one specific man – Gadaffi. I thought the whole reason we had flattened 50,000 Libyan citizens from the air was because it was neither legally nor morally acceptable to engage in ‘regime change’ – the assassination of one man in order to improve the price of whatever? How does it become acceptable after 50,000 deaths and not before?
The entire business of reducing Libyans to small squares of charred flesh has become confusing to me. Didn’t we (Nato) destroy a convoy of military vehicles in Jalu because they posed a threat to civilian life? Yes, I am quite sure we did.
Yet now a convoy of military vehicles approaches Sirte, intent on threatening civilian life to the extent that they hand over M. Gadaffi – and Nato will not intervene?
Thanks to my current anti-nausea medication, I have been able to down two small portions of Sky News this morning, and a slice of dry BBC nonsense. I can’t say I feel any better for it.
Sky are besides themselves with excitement at having netted a gangly Arab youth, straight out of Laurence of Arabia, tailor made for snuff-porn-on-the-hour, all curly brown locks and limpid eyes, who proceeded to tell the world that he was one of Gadaffi’s ‘feared henchmen’ now turned whistle blower. Yeah, right! He wouldn’t frighten my dog.
With an avuncular ‘rebel soldier’ affectionately ruffling his hair, he chatted amiably with Sky news, telling them where Gadaffi was on Friday, which road he was on now, where he was heading – indeed, was the convoy not heading for Sebha his home town, was he not mightily pissed off that no one offered him a lift back to his Mummy?
Not to worry, Sky reassured us lily-livered couch potatoes, Gilded Youth had ‘done nothing wrong’, was ‘not in trouble’, was ‘only 17’ (which makes him at least four years older than the deadly ‘child soldiers’ you were parading before our eyes last time I looked Sky) and, best of all, Sky would ensure that he was home with his Mummy in time for brown bread and cockles…..
Sky are now to demonstrate the feat of returning a ‘deadly henchman’ to the ‘Gadaffi stronghold of Sebha’ after extracting all the information he was supposed to guard with his life, and beaming it out to 60 million people, on the hour, every hour…….way to go Sky! We were taking bets on how long he would remain in his Mother’s arms before someone arrived to slit his throat, but knowing Sky, they will probably have a camera crew at Mummy’s to show the small square of charred flesh she has now become. No more Mummy! Will he become a cause celebre, extracted with Sky reporters on the last helicopter out of Tripoli?
Meanwhile, back in iDave land, we are told that our lumbering plod is considering sending some hapless PC to investigate WPC Fletcher’s death. How rooted in the days of legal process and justice they are! Don’t they know that Sky have not only identified ‘the man who shot WPC Fletcher’ – Abdulmagid Salah Ameri – but helpfully reported that he has been executed, by his own supporters naturally….. Nothing to see here folks, move along.
What do we need a police force for? Or morals? We have Sky to skip over the difficult bits, and make it all photogenic for us. I love the banner at the top of this post. I can hear the conversation that led to it.
Sky Reporter: Muhammed, can you run up a banner telling people to stop firing in the air?
Muhammed: But my people not speak English, that why you pay me thousands dollars a day to translate!
Sky Reporter: The folks back home won’t figure that out, they’ll just be pleased you’ve stopped wasting the bullets they are sending you.
Muhammed: OK, ready for 10.am transmission, Masser. You ask, I do.
Ms Raccoon is calling for nurse to take her away from all this madness….
August 31, 2011 at 22:07
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A cynic may consider that the instant death-bed of Al Megrahi, the sudden
death of the chief suspect in the Fletcher killing, shortly to be followed by
the demise of Col G himself, all bears the hallmarks of our own dear spooks,
who have been been there for months doing their ‘business as usual’ under the
radar, eliminating all those who know too much about the events of the past 30
years and the complicity of Western governments and who may have been inclined
to speak out now.
Let’s hope BP pay up for services rendered.
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August 31, 2011 at 19:55
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Have I missed something?
Where is the 50,000 stat from please Anna?
- August 31, 2011 at 20:03
- August
31, 2011 at 17:15
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The original UN mandate was to protect civilians, as long as those
civilians had no legitimate government to protect them.
Now they have the wonderful chaps of the National Transitional Council to
speak for them (even though they weren’t elected) who have now been recognised
(despite their lack of legitimacy) by a number of countries and more
importantly, NATO.
The UN mandate is now defunct as the supposedly “legitimate” (i.e. they say
what we tell them to) government of Libya can ask for our military assistance
in rooting out Gaddafi or attacking any target we tell them to ask us to
attack.
Isn’t the politics of war lovely?
- August 31, 2011 at 16:06
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Anna, you must be feeling better!
- August 31, 2011 at 16:40
- August
31, 2011 at 14:26
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Has the SAS been equipped with the recipe for real Benghazi Brandy?
- August 31, 2011 at 11:41
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This UN mandate stretches and fits anything the UN wants it to. There seems
to be no limit as to what it encompasses. The UN mandate is now soaked and
dripping in the very blood of those it was supposed to protect …
civilians.
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August 31, 2011 at 08:52
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Um…doesn’t the UN mandate only authorise the use of force to protect
civilian lives? Is there something in the small print that says “Also, you can
send in hit squads to kill bad men, if you like.”
And do the rebels really need the SAS? They seem to be winning on their
own. In fact, given the terms of the UN mandate, shouldn’t we now be sayin to
the rebels: “All those bombers and helicopters and stuff. They were there to
proect civilians. We can just as easily use then to blow up your stuff as we
did Ghadaffi’s. So less of the threatening to reduce a city to rubble,
please.”
- August 31, 2011 at 08:37
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They want him dead, DEAD don’t you see. They want their blood price.
- August 31, 2011 at 08:40
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August 31, 2011 at 08:36
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Anna, you are wicked!
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