The Government becomes ever more inventive in getting Nannyâs message across. Now beer mats and beer glasses are to display the calorie count â will they have a different glass for each beer? Fast food chains and sandwich bars are to display calorie counts on menus â will Dirty Dickâs Diner have the means to work out the calorie count every time he changes his bacon supplier? Pizza Hut are to âencourage customersâ to order âhealthier optionsâ â âno, not the double crust cheese pizza weâve been advertising for weeks, have the Iceberg salad with no dressingâ¦.â
It all reminded me of a small item I saved from last year â point of sale advertising. Just as you were in danger of getting rumped by George Bush yet again, the Graphic Amor Company bought out a special pack of Obama condoms â printed in full colour with his picture and the promise of âseeing you safely through hard timesâ.
The British Government are world leaders in the art of dishing out free condoms, not only to our own citizens; we litter the world liberally with the products of Mssrs. Durex & Co. Â£45 million pounds worth donated to Nigeria alone; Â£22 million pounds worth to Kenya â the statistics make your eyes water â Britain donates more than a 1,000 condoms a minute.
What a wasted advertising opportunity! Admittedly some of the Governmentâs messages â âHave you posted your Tax return?â for instance, might have a deflating effect; but âhave you eaten your five a dayâ â even âR U 16â could have possibilities.
âWear your politics with pride, standing up for the Conservativesâ.
âIâm a Limp-Demâ
âVote Brown for the ultimate stimulus packageâ¦..â
âStanding up for Ballsâ
Any more suggestions? Iâm off to get me Rubber Mac.