Ruminations | Eschewing the âcouldâ.

The 24 hour rolling news programmes have taken journalism out of the realm of reporting what has happened, into never ending speculation as to what âcouldâ happen.
There is not enough actually âhappeningâ in the world, with accompanying dramatic pictures, to fill 24 hours a day. What âcouldâ happen is elastic, can stretch to encompass any number of talking heads with their various theories â but is that ânewsâ?
It was noticeable during the early days of the Jasmine revolution. Thousands of disorganised protesters thronged the streets, not knowing themselves what would happen next. There are only so many times you can report that fact.
Sky news in particular took to showing graphics of the street grid, with talking heads earnestly stating that the crowd âcouldâ turn left, they âcouldâ turn right, they âcouldâ go straight ahead, they âcouldâ even return whence they came.
Harmless enough, though it became a game in our household to count how many times âcouldâ featured in any one news broadcast. A particular favourite was the speculation over the future of the Formula 1 Grand Prix in Bahrain. An âexpertâ, presumably paid, was bussed into the studio in the early hours â âThank-you for coming in so earlyâ â specifically to agree with the link anchors summing up of the situation â âYouâre right Julia, the Grand Prix âcouldâ go ahead, or indeed, it âcouldâ be cancelledâ. âThank-you for explaining that to usâ. Ker-ching. Taxi for Mr Expert.
A few days ago we were fretting over the future of Libya. Our Oil âcouldâ be cut off, hundreds of British citizens âcouldâ still be stranded in the desert, the situation âcouldâ put 50p on the price of petrol â was there no end to the nightmare situations we âcouldâ find ourselves in?
There was it seems. Overnight, not only are there no more âcouldsâ â there is no more news of Libya. Wiped from the face of our nightmares. Those waiting for news of British citizens in the desert must phone the foreign office; petrol price increase terrors no longer catered for. Certainly not a mention for the Arab Leagues decision to back the US call for a no-fly zone. Sky has discovered a new âcouldâ.
We are off to Japan and rolling coverage to feed our fears that the end of the world is nigh. Here we learn that there âcould be 250,000 deadâ, a nuclear reactor âcould explodeâ killing the rest of the population, there âcould be aftershocksâ, it âcould be impossibleâ to reach survivorsâ¦..
âSky-Specâ TV knows how to keep the world on the edge of its seat waiting for Armageddon; it is a profitable business, reporting speculation. The advertising department at MediaCorps is on full alert:
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Flog popcorn to the waiting viewers, perhaps a sofa or two to the armchair warriors, a burger to those unwilling to miss a second of what âcouldâ happen.
Or tune to France 24 and Aljazeera to find out what actually has happened.
March 14,
2011 at 23:11
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In my family some rubbish is usually dismissed with the cry of âhereâs some
more idle speculation and some pictures of some tanksâ â a lovely line from a
two decade old episode of Drop the Dead Donkey which sadly is as true now as
it was then in the build-up to the first Gulf War.
March
13, 2011 at 19:32
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On an old Steve Coogan video (from the days when he was funny) there is a
Paul Calf routine about this topic. I canât remember word for word but it goes
something like this:
You hear on the morning news a bomb has gone off and fifty people are dead
amd you think, thatâs terrible. All those poor people were just going about
their business and their lives were snuffed out. And how mudt their faimilies
and friends feel, their lives will never be the same.
By the lunchtime news
when youâve heard a few time you think; Sad about those people dying but life
goes on.
By the time you hear it on the late night news you say; So a bomb
went off and killed a few, who gives a fuck.
That still sums up the effect of saturation coverage.
March 13, 2011 at 12:36
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Sometimes we should be grateful for the âcould,â the confession of
uncertainty. The âcouldsâ and the âmightsâ offer a degree of honesty, an
acknowledgement that the speaker doesnât know it all and may in fact be wrong.
These words disappeared, strangely, from what used to be a debate but is now
claimed to be a certainty with no debate permitted; a matter of enormous
complexity and uncertainty and these days, outright dishonesty and fraud â Iâm
guessing you know what Iâm talking about, but I could be wrong.
March 13, 2011 at 11:33
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Excellent! For the first six or so months of the Coalition, we used to play
âBBC Coalition Split Bingoâ, in which according to the number of minutes into
Today or PM, the presenter said âthis could split the Coalitionâ, or âCould
this split the Coalition?â, and such like. Extra prizes if you completed a
line or your card with such an example delivered with classic BBC anti-right
brio.
March 13, 2011 at 11:21
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I checked that link out ; it really does say âwrecked
havocâ. How exactly does one wreck havoc ? And
why : is ordinary havoc not enough of a wreck ?
A fortunate piece of photography gives us a lovely the grin on the face of
the cow on the right, donât you think ?
Î Î
March 13, 2011 at 11:10
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Sheesh! Maybe Iâm slow but until I followed the link I thought your âbook
your spotsâ bit was some ironic invention to illustrate a point about modern
news dissemination and ad-land.
Instead, âA good day to bury bad newsâ in reverse.
Bastards.
March 13, 2011 at 11:02
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I made a similar comment yesterday. We happened to have BBC News24 on and I
watched a piece giving a fairly factual (i.e. minimal speculation) update on
the Japanese reactors. Then it was over to the studio guest for some fill-in
fluff, at which point I announced that theyâd run out of useful things to say
and turned it off.
Mind you, some of the experts are worth it for the comedy value because
theyâre clearly struggling to find anything useful to say.
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