The Foreign Secretary is keen to be seen as an unaccompanied man tucking into meat with gusto, but has been forced to take the extraordinary step of issuing a statement about his alleged clandestine fruit eating habits with Ffion, variously described as his wife and his long time companion after a series of bloggers became so bored during the silly season that the following photograph was widely circulated on the Internet claiming that he and Ffion had shared a watermelon cocktail together at Notting Hill festival, dressed casually and wearing almost matching blue shirts.
The Daily Telegraph disclosed on Saturday that a Cabinet minister was ready to take legal action to halt the baseless rumours about his private life. This could take the form of an injunction to prevent publication, or a threat to sue if the false stories appeared in mainstream media.
Does any of this really matter? Is it relevant to our role as the fifth estate whether Hague is nurtured by a platter of roast testicles or the freshly squeezed juice of a delicate South African Passion fruit?
The revelation came shortly after it was revealed that the former Prime Minister Tony Blair had thought that his Chancellor was not the full shilling, so has an obvious impact on Hague’s voting record. Surely – or the Daily Telegraph would not be wading into the fray?
True, during the Fox Hunting debate, William said he would have preferred that the government find the time to debate ‘the need to make sure that meat imports into this country meet the standards of food produced at home’ – an intervention which has an added resonance now that we know that his meat eating habits are questionable – and he did once say “I used to be into Genesis and Meat Loaf but that’s all in the past.” But how does any of this affect his ability to act as Foreign Secretary?
No children were harmed in the dissection of these fruity revelations.