A set of Winston Churchill’s false teeth are up for auction with a guide price of between £4,000 and £5,000.

It is claimed that the false teeth, rather than being ill-fitting, were actually designed to preserve what has been described as Churchill’s ‘natural lisp’. (Nothing to do with the fact that “Fix-O-Grin” wasn’t readily available in those days, obviously).

The great man’s gnashers are being sold by Nigel Cudlipp whose father made the dentures for the wartime Prime Minister.

According to Mr Cudlipp, Churchill took to demonstrating displeasure by flicking them out of his mouth as and when the mood struck him: “My father recounted many stories of Churchill putting his thumb behind the front of the teeth and just flicking them,”  “(he) used to say he could tell how well the war effort was going by how far they went across the room and whether they hit the opposite wall.  Churchill was not a man who was renowned for his patience.”

It is suggested that only four sets of teeth were ever made for Churchill; he is believed to have been buried wearing one set, another seems to have been ‘melted down’ and the other set is in a London museum labelled “the teeth that saved the world”.

Eat your heart out, Janet Street Porter.

UPDATE: And they were sold for $23,750 – three times the estimate! An anonymous American bidder.

Daedalus
Parrot August 1, 2010 at 01:54

Thank you Mrs Smudd, I needed a good laugh after the recently sad blog
articles in our neighbourhood.

Winston Churchill’s Projectile Gnashers, brilliant! you are inspired.

Regarding the “Fix-O-Grin” stuff you mentioned, I feel in my bones (and in
my dentures) that such a substance was used to an over-excessive effect by a
recent unelected, Kirkcaldy based prime minister, as amply demonstrated on
these youtube thingies:

Strangely
enough, the right wing BBC (yes I find it hard to believe) produced this
excellent video of Gordon’s best Fix-O-Grin smiling moments on Have I Got News
For You:

Fix-O-Grin helps Gordon Brown in his video to Asda mums (wot
about us Asda dads!)

Gordon
Brown’s 2008 Ramadan message (no, not a spoof) where he uses the less extreme
Fix-O-Religo-Serio-Look /a>

Gordon’s 2007 Diwali message to hindus and sikhs with a bit of
Fix-O-Grin and some Fix-O-Fake-O-Sincerity

Prime minister Brown’s 2008 Chinese New Year message. Larger
asmount of Fix-O-Grin used here in comparison with the Diwali and Ramadan
messages

Mr Brown’s 2007 Eid al-Fitr message

All of the above were genuine Brown Messages to religious groups.
I searched very hard for a similar Brown message to Christians but could find
none, no none at all. Obviously Christians are either comfortable that Gordon
loves them and need no video as proof or they are not worth his attention. The
closest was this spoof video claiming to be Labour’s Christmas
message.

And, lastly, that famous youtube speech, absolutely saturated
with Fix-O-Grin and Jive-O-Dance. Dontcha miss Ol’ Gord?

Gildas July 31, 2010 at 08:16

By gum (as we say up north) it’s a piece with bite!

Gloria Smudd
July 30, 2010 at 20:50

Oh Sauleo, Sauleo, wherefore art thou, Sauleo?

Gildas July 30, 2010 at 21:07

a

Gildas July 30, 2010 at 21:09

Hang on – I can be cryptic but even that’s above me!

Gloria
Smudd July 30, 2010 at 22:05

I’d put you in the top set every time, Gildas.

Brian July 30, 2010 at 20:07

Wait for the law suit when the disappointed buyer opens the parcel to
discover that Winston Churchill was was not included in the deal.

Gildas July 30, 2010 at 19:47

Reminds of the Pussy Cat Dolls song
“Denture wish your girlfriend was
hot like me…”
Gildas the Monk

Anna
Raccoon July 30, 2010 at 19:53

Gildas,

Ouch!

Gildas July 30, 2010 at 20:22

I do apologise! And sincerely hope I have started
something!
Gildas

Gloria
Smudd July 30, 2010 at 20:36

I think it was the way you said it. It had the ring of confidence
about it.

Gloria Smudd
July 30, 2010 at 20:03

That is very good though, however cringe-worthy! In fact, it’s so good it
deserves a plaque.

Gloria Smudd
July 30, 2010 at 20:04

Maybe the BBC will do another variation on the ‘Cash in The Attic’
theme … Gum Buy With Me?

Gloria
Smudd July 30, 2010 at 20:08

Or ‘Going, Going, Gum!’ perhaps.

lenko July 30, 2010 at 17:41

You don’t suppose the Americans have discovered how to clone a person from
his false teeth? This could be the answer to the war effort.

Gloria Smudd
July 30, 2010 at 18:23

I wouldn’t put anything past them lenko. I expect they’ve already cloned
London Bridge …