A thought on making sandwiches
Oh no! I forgot the mayonnaise!
Yesterday’s discussion about sandwiches got me thinking. Every once in a while, I get tired of pre-bought sandwiches and decide to start making them myself. And every time it starts off so well: I head off to Tesburys and buy a nice seeded loaf, a small selection of cold meats, cheese, lettuce, tomato, peppers and, if my head is screwed on, a faux “butter” that is spreadable so that I don’t have to slice slabs of unsalted butter from the fridge to the thickness of cheese.
The first day starts with me getting up half an hour early to face the unfamiliar challenge. Inevitably, in my semi-comatose state I wind up forgetting the spreadable “butter” and consequently layering the bread with 1/4″ slices of butter and cheese. But the first effort goes reasonably well for all that.
The second day goes slightly better as I leave the spreadable “butter” in a prominent position, ensuring a slightly thinner sandwich. However, in my semi-comatose state, I forget the mayo, so the sandwich is a bit bland. Never mind!
Day three, I decide, will be perfect! Instead of depending on my wit before the sun has even come up, I will make my sandwiches on the evening of day two. They will be absolutely perfect and popped into the fridge. So, on day three, I’m off to Pret-a-manger as my perfectly-made sandwiches are still in the fridge.
On day four, I have cunningly taped a note to the door to remind myself of the sandwich I perfectly made on the evening of day three. Hurrah. At lunch time, I discover that this sandwich is soggy and the bread just falls apart, depositing mayonnaise and tomato all over my white shirt and tie.
On day five, I go to Pret. Enough is enough. The unfinished tomato and lettuce rot quietly in my fridge for several weeks. Which reminds me, I really need to clean out my fridge, but the last time I tried, the fur-clad contents of the vegetable tray growled at me. I wonder if the council offers a HazMat service?
June 26, 2010 at 08:11
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Oh and fish-fingers with tartare sauce instead of butter
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June 26, 2010 at 04:49
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Chips on white slice
Peanut butter and cucumber on brown
Cheese & onion on farmhouse
Sausage with strong mustard on French
Olive oil and Parmesan on a fresh crust
Hot pork with stuffing and gravy instead of butter
Turkey with horseradish sauce
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June 24, 2010 at 12:24
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This is v. nice either as a starter (if it hasn’t been stolen and eaten by
a teenage boy) or an indulgent packed lunch…..
Take one ciabatta and slice in half horizontally. Spread a generous layer
of red pesto on both cut faces, then place sun-dried tomatoes, pitted black
olives, bits of mozarella and goat’s cheese or a mild blue cheese and finally
some basil leaves onto the bottom layer and put the top layer back on. Wrap in
foil and pop into the oven for 20 mins till the cheeses have melted. Cut into
1″ slices once cool enough to handle. Yum.
- June 24, 2010 at 10:28
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I’m with Saul on this one — the bacon butty is the answer to all mankind’s
woes. I couldn’t begin to estimate the number of pigs who have laid down their
lives for me. (Though salmon sandwiches are really good too, as long as they
don’t have crap like cucumbers in them).
I have recently experimented (purely in the name of science) by cooking
myself a full roast dinner, and have come up with something new — the roast
potato charcoal biscuit. It’s nutritious and quick to prepare, though it does
leave you with black teeth.
- June 24, 2010 at 09:30
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“Pre-bought”?
What is wrong with just “buying” them?
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June 24, 2010 at 20:26
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?Second hand?
- June 24, 2010 at 09:15
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Not surprised you’re having trouble. Your sandwich is clearly mouldy. Look
at all them green bits sticking out!
- June 24,
2010 at 09:11
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Bought sandwiches always taste better anyway.
- June 24, 2010 at 09:08
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There can be only one sandwich….
The Bacon Butty!
- June 24,
2010 at 08:50
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You’re doing it wrong. You need a layer of meat or cheese on the top
and the bottom, with the tomato in between. This stops the bread
getting soggy when you leave it in the fridge over night.
Also, you can
dispense with the salad altogether and replace it with a layer of mustard.
Doesn’t matter what it tastes like then.
- June 24, 2010 at 10:47
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This is similar to the crucial breakthrough M&S discovered when their
aircraft chocks were going soggy – keep the contents of the
sandwich between two slices of lettuce.
- June 26, 2010 at 00:22
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Thanks for that. Both are vey good tips.
May I add my own tip concerning hard butter? I find that if I put half
of a standard pack of butter in a butter dish, it will usually soften
after 20 seconds in the microwave.
Sometimes, if it is in winter or if the fridge has hardened the butter
too much, I might have to reach the right softness by microwaving in
separate bursts of 3 seconds. If you microwave it 3 seconds too much, it
turns to liquid.
After many years of research I find that when I do my kids’ packed
lunches, I now find I have an almost psychic ability to zap the butter to
within a second of the correct softness, my body has turned into an
anlogue computer capabale of accurately measuring the temperature,
pressure, humidyity and cosmic ray intensity and coming up with the exact
number of seconds to microwave my pat of butter.
Ok, I’m a sad git, so what?
Perhaps a sandwich thread should be started on this site. Maybe such a
thread could be sandwiched between the austerity meals thread and the DIY
thread.
Lastly, it saddens me to have to remind the author of the above,
otherwise exellent, article: “Dear God Man! Where’s the pickle?!! You
can’t have a sandwich without pickle or piccalilly. Saints preserve
us!”
- June 24, 2010 at 08:42
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TJW, you sound to me like an archetype for foresight and organisation. When
I used to leave the house for work at 0530, I would take with me my sandwiches
I’d prepared the previous afternoon and left by the front door with my car
keys. My wife saw a gift opportunity here, so for Christmas I received a
portable electric-steam sandwich press.
- June 24, 2010 at 08:24
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Buy a Tupperware Box. You still can’t beat it.
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