On Sunday, Jacqui Smith said that a new points based system will be used to “raise the bar” for highly skilled migrants to curb the numbers coming in.

The move is part of an immigration crackdown to be unveiled by Home Secretary Jacqui Smith tomorrow to “put British workers first” – and increase the BNP share of the vote.

The Home Secretary has been rattled by a blizzard of damaging statistics in recent weeks, which have blown a hole in Gordon Brown’s promise to deliver ‘British jobs for British workers’. Earlier this week, the Mail revealed how foreign workers are taking a greater share of British jobs than at any time in history. They now hold 3,819,000 jobs or 13 per cent of the total. Two-thirds of the foreign workers (2,647,000) are from outside the EU.

Employers will be forced to advertise vacancies in the Jobcentre Plus network before filling them with migrant labour under a series of measures to be announced.

This should have an unexpected silver lining to the cloud, as the Royal Opera House is forced to advertise in the Sheffield Jobcentre for Italian speaking Tenor sopranos, GCHQ for Russian speaking Data Analysts, and the Melli Bank for an Iranian speaking auditor……….. naturally none of these jobs will appeal to the huddled masses round their braziers, but it will allow politicians to say that there is ‘no reason’ for high unemployment in the UK – and point to the soaring numbers of jobs advertised in the job centres.

The elephant currently squatting in the cabinet room is the the slag heap of professional benefits claimants who have never done a stroke of work in years, if ever – both migrant and home grown. Creating a series of hurdles over which The London Philharmonic must jump in order to bring in a third violinist is ‘smoke and mirrors’ magic tricks – we deserve better from the politicians who created this mess.

Gloria Smudd
February 25, 2009 at 17:00

You can have the loud-hailer as long as I can keep my kazoo. (the idea of
Saul lolling on the faux-fur has got me all unnecessary – I think I need a
drink)

Coco February 25, 2009 at 16:52

Good show Gloria! Of course we will have the obligatory white limousine to
haul us from pub to pub. I can already see Saul lolling about on the faux fur
throws as we tweak our hair and re-doour make-up. What a jolly crew we shall
make.

Bags I have the loud-hailer as we drive through the streets calling
everybody to arms!

Gloria Smudd
February 25, 2009 at 16:44

I was really rather hoping you’d say that, Coco. No sport! Just lazing and
scoffing and swigging! I’m in on that one.

Coco February 25, 2009 at 16:39

Oh Gloria ………….. How sweet of you. But forget all that sporty stuff ………. I
fancy just lazing about all day, eating fruit pies and drinking wine. Would
you mind helping me with that instead please?

My drinking arm certainly needs the occasional massage though ………… My
doctor says it’s an RSI ………… caused by holding miniature glasses of Tia Maria
or up to eight hours at a time. So my Hubby is going to put it up on a drip
for me.

Coco February 25, 2009 at 16:34

I remember hearing a rumour that he liked a bit of Italian sausage …………

I must admit that when I saw the sultry tanned owner of the sausage ………. it
made me think about becoming an omnivore again!

Gloria Smudd
February 25, 2009 at 11:09

Coco – the Minister for Unemployment would almost be entitled to claim the
services of her own tennis coach-cum-shot-putter.. I’m free!

Blink February 25, 2009 at 07:24

God, the thought of Mandelson with an Italian suasage in his hand…..ouch
;0)

Anna Raccoon
February 25, 2009 at 08:36

It’s usually the Moroccan Merguez, isn’t it Blink???????

Coco February 25, 2009 at 00:43

Give over Gloria! If you photo is anything to go off I think you look
really attractive ………….. You could easily be a tennis player with looks like
that!

If I went in a job-centre ………. hrrrmmrpphhhh! My arse! ,,,,,,,, But if I
did ……….. which I probably wouldn’t because they always smell of people who
don’t know what a washing-machine or dry-cleaners is ……… And that’s just the
smells of the staff!!! But anyway …………….. If I went in a job-centre I would
ask for a job as the Minister for Unemployment!

I think it’s about time that we had a Minister for Unemployment as well as
a Minister for Employment in this day and age.

The Minister for Unemployment would be able to claim for three main
residences and have their own personal maid and hairdresser ………. If that’s OK
…….. Oh! And a cook who would provide endless supplies of ice-cream. I would
use whatever accountant John Prescott used for my expenses! Mmmmmm!

I have talked myself into getting this job! I am salivating like Peter
Mandelson with an Italian sausage in his hand! I may have to nip down the Job
Centre now ……………

Gloria Smudd
February 24, 2009 at 23:17

I just hope there aren’t too many vacancies for female Russian shot-putters
next time I’m down at the Job Centre – I’m almost certain to be offered the
job on looks alone.

Coco February 24, 2009 at 22:14

As long as they don’t employ Frenchies to make my favourite bread at Tesco
and Waitrose ……………. I don’t care who does what job!

………… Well ……….. When I say that I don’t care who does what job ………. I
should have said ………… that they had better speak bloody decent English ………..
or bring an interpreter with them!

I don’t want some bloody Italian crooning and singing into my face about
the need to remove my kidney stones ………… and I don’t want some Iranian
pretending to be Italian selling me a pizza! Do you get the picture?

The UK needs migrant workers!!! We have become crap at everything. Nobody
knows how to make anything anymore! And those who are able to produce and
manufacture want paying too much for their skills.

So bring on the migrants and allow the brain-drain to begin in earnest! I
want a plumber who only wants a fiver an hour! And a dentist for a tenner.
What is wrong with that?

Blink February 24, 2009 at 18:34

My Russian Italian agh, it’s not so good….I meant Verdi…..he play for
Fiorentina….yes?

Gloria Smudd
February 23, 2009 at 23:36

Grr!

janes February 23, 2009 at 23:28

Ciao Gloria.

Gloria Smudd
February 23, 2009 at 23:14

I got locked out in the garden for hours on end simply for being a little
too enthusiastic on my musical instrument and when I get let back in it’s all
in bloomin’ Italian. Hrrmph. Bloomin’ polyglots.

janes February 23, 2009 at 22:48

Or che mi conoscete parlate voi.
Deh parlate. chi siete? vi piaccia
dir?

Blink February 23, 2009 at 19:04

“Libiamo ne’ lieti calici”

Anna Raccoon
February 23, 2009 at 20:06

Tutto

Blink February 23, 2009 at 17:21

As a naturally gifted Russian data analyst born in Iran of Italian parents
who taught me to sing opera, I should be okay then? Anyone for a bit of Tosca
then??

Anna Raccoon
February 23, 2009 at 18:44

You Tosca yourself if you want to, I prefer Verdi.

Gloria Smudd
February 23, 2009 at 16:28

It’s “Child-Transporting” time already, so I’m buzzing off now for a
while.

Saul February 23, 2009 at 16:14

You hum it and I’ll play it.

Gloria Smudd
February 23, 2009 at 16:10

Better keep off the last thread then Saul – I’m having a kazoo afternoon.
Harsh on the ears but beautiful in its own unique way.

Saul February 23, 2009 at 16:02

I think that Elephant may have stood on my head!

Anna Raccoon
February 23, 2009 at 15:39

Saul has spoken, croaked might be more apt.
He asked that we keep our
voices down and show a bit of consideration.
Oh dear.