Late last night I turned on the English TV in time to catch the inevitable whinge about the budget. There is always a whinge; the only matter of note is who is doing the whinging.

This time it was an announcer in expensive cashmere pashmina artfully draped over an equally expensive raincoat. British summer time at its best. She was whinging on behalf of ‘the poorest in society’ who were going to be ‘hardest hit’ by the increase in Vat – and she was holding aloft – amongst other items, a DVD to illustrate how the price would rise.

Perhaps the poorest in society do buy DVDs these days.  Maybe that is the norm. In which case it illustrates how ridiculous the ‘poverty gap’ really is.

Ask any pensioner – they will tell you that the State pension does not extend to DVDs or the essential players that go with them. They listen to the radio – music for free once you have bought the radio. Whilst you are chatting to them, ask for some other tips on perfectly legal tax avoidance, for our pensioners are a mine of information, they have been doing it for years.

Simply because they figured out, by necessity, not choice, that Vat was exactly what it said on the tin, a Value Added Tax – a tax on the luxury of someone else doing something for you before you took possession of the goods. The non-essential version of the goods.

Society has moved so far forward in the past 50 years that our interviewer could find a young man who said ‘shan’t be able to afford a sandwich at lunchtime any more, shall have to go without’ – and no one stepped forward to say ‘make one at home before you go to work, you don’t have to go to MacDonald’s for your lunch – pensioners don’t’.

Take a look at the shopping basket of your average pensioner. You won’t see blocks of luxury Vienetto ice cream, with its 17.5% Vat rate, shortly to be 20%. You won’t see laptop computers so that they can read the newspapers without stepping out to the newsagent.

You don’t have to go on a foreign holiday; you don’t have to buy an expensive suitcase to do so. Cosmetics, Hair dye, the hairdresser once a week, false nails to save growing your own, new clothes every time the fashions change – pensioners are above all this, and thus rarely pay Vat.

There is no Vat on basic food stuffs. There is no Vat on newspapers, and printed music to tap out a tune on an old piano, there is no Vat on a postage stamp to allow you to stay in touch with your fiends, you can even go on holiday with no Vat – hire a canal boat and go up river. Take a coach and go visit your friend. Come to that, there is no Vat on a caravan.

There is no Vat on medical services for your health. There is no Vat on goods and clothing sold in a charity shop. There is no Vat on a Bingo game.

Vat kicks in when you want to save time or effort. You want a machine to wash your clothes, a cook to put your dinner on a plate, a sandwich made by your local Pole.

Our pensioners come from an era that remembers how to make custard with an egg, that didn’t expect their potatoes to come ready chipped. They owned a Spong that minced the left overs from the Sunday joint to make a Shepherds Pie; they still have black and white televisions and no Sky – can you imagine? They grew up making their own clothes, they shared out baby clothes with their neighbours, they soaked their false teeth in Bicarbonate of Soda, come to that, they owned what was euphemistically known as a ‘set of rags’, washed and bleached each month, and thus avoided the much complained about modern ‘tax on femininity’ – or the 5% rate on sanitary wear.

If the ‘poorest in society’ are suffering from the new rate of Vat, they could do a lot worse than talk to their nearest pensioner, they would learn a lot. Pensioners are highly skilled Vat avoiders.

Those complaining about an increase in the tax on luxury might reflect on the fact that their real problem is that they have become too used to the sort of luxury that attracts Vat.

Vat in has been at 19.6% in France for years – and in our department, the average income per household is 10,000 euros – which doesn’t buy a lot of luxury.

Alan Pavelin
June 24, 2010 at 11:34

The old image of pensioners counting the pennies and huddling before a
single-bar electric fire is so obsolete. The Institute for Fiscal Studies
recently issued figures showing that, of the 4 broad groups in society,
pensioners are the LEAST likely to be below the official poverty level. I, and
most of my pensioner friends, are doing very nicely thank you.

Andymac June 24, 2010 at 09:32

Along the lines of this post, and when talking to people who are convinced,
“It’s just not fair!!” I point them to this site. For no political or
charitable reason, just for a simplistic reality check.
http://www.miniature-earth.com/

Enjoy your writings. Thank you.

Anna
Raccoon June 24, 2010 at 07:52

Indeed you have “me”. Misunderstood the law, that is.
It is not illegal
to watch the BBC from outside the UK.
The Astra 2D satellite carries an
unencrypted signal from the BBC – their choice, on economic grounds
apparently.
They might not like the idea of ex-pats watching their putrid
channel, but as long as they continue to transmit without encryption, there is
nothing in the laws of any European country – including the UK – that
prohibits you from watching it. Nor from accessing their news
on-line.
Perhaps you are confused by the fact that Sky does encrypt their
signal, and therefore it is only available to those who have a decoder
registered to an address in the UK – and carried accross the channel
illegally? They also carry the BBC signal. I am aware that there are many
thousands of those now in France and Spain – one curiously in the home of an
ex-Director of Sky known to me!
The BBC is remarkably petty, for although
they are aware that I and many other like me can receive their signal
perfectly legally, they do block us from the iPlayer service, thus restricting
our ability to watch missed programmes.
However, your comment presupposes
that I turn to the BBC for my news – you cannot be serious!
I prefer my
news unadulterated, direct from AP or Reuters, and hold subscriptions rights
to both.

Pericles June 24, 2010 at 17:53

For entertainment value

me June 24, 2010 at 03:44

Hi Anna, like your blog, always wondered how you managed to the news so
fast after all you live in France. Where you can only get BBC World or Prime.
Unless you saying that you are breaking the law and watching BBC or ITV. Being
such a responsible elder citizen with such moral high standars I am sure I
have misunderstood.

morpork June 23, 2010 at 23:48

I thought ready-made sandwiches (as a grocery item) were zero-rated for
VAT, unless they were delivered as part of a delivery contract or a specific
catering do.

Well, that’s what HMRC seems to think, anyway (look at item 3.3) http://customs.hmrc.gov.uk/channelsPortalWebApp/channelsPortalWebApp.portal?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=pageLibrary_PublicNoticesAndInfoSheets&propertyType=document&columns=1&id=HMCE_CL_000118#P67_4124

Alan June 24, 2010 at 00:44

VAT free indeed. Unless it is hot.

Meatball subs, burgers, chicken fillet things and all that have VAT on
them whereas a bog standard M&S triangle of stodge or any other cold
sandwich does not.

Gloria Smudd
June 23, 2010 at 19:04

Two things.

1. VAT went down 2.5% to 15% as part of Gordie’s fiscal plan. It then went
back up to 17.5% as the another part of Gordie’s fiscal plan. Now Georgie has
put it up by another 2.5% as part of his fiscal plan, clawing back the lost
2.5%. Fiscal plans – ain’t they fine?

2. Acrylic nails (as mentioned in Anna’s article above): these are ugly,
shovel-shaped slabs (often decorated with sequins or tiny paintings of
drive-by shootings) which render the wearer unable to use them for anything
beyond computer bingo, picking the salad out of a doner kebab or dialling the
Jeremy Kyle Show. So a homemade sarnie is right out. Even a Toast Topper can
has a ring pull, after all. End of.

Still Waiting for an
Apology June 23, 2010 at 18:12

“…to stay in touch with your fiends…”

Ah, it’s those grudges of old that keep me going!!!

Joe Public June 23, 2010 at 17:43

“…..Vat was exactly what it said on the tin, a Value Added Tax”

I beg to differ.

If an item costs

Alan June 24, 2010 at 00:22

VAT is not levied on ingredients for pizza.
VAT is not levied on a
frozen pizza.
VAT is levied on a takeaway pizza.

The value added (as the Revenue sees it) comes in the cooking of the
pizza. Before it is food. After it is a meal.

A plain biscuit (and biscuits with choc-chips in them) attracts no VAT
while a chocolate covered biscuit does attract VAT. Unless it is a teacake
which is actually a cake (and hence VAT free) even if it has a biscuit
base.

Shortbread attracts no VAT. Chocolate covered shortbread has VAT on it.
Millionaire’s shortbread which has caramel between the shortbread and
chocolate does not have VAT on it.

VAT is a peculiar tax.

lenko June 23, 2010 at 17:29

I used to know quite a lot about VAT, but most of the detail has faded, now
that I have passed the 120 mark. But I can tell you this:

Years back, my local amateur drama club were putting on a play which
required a coffin on stage. It needed to be substantial, so we went and
purchased a proper one, rather than knock one up. VAT was charged on the sales
price, and we queried it. They told us the rule was:

Coffins are exempt from VAT… unless for purposes of entertainment.

And that is why we need all those people working on this tax — to split
finer and finer hairs on all things bought and sold.

Gildas June 23, 2010 at 14:54

A Level Economics Paper Question (Multiple Choice) 2010:

You are new the Prime Minister of a G7 Nation. You now required to sort out
your national debt near crisis, after the most severe recession since 1945 and
in the face of a wider sovereign debt crisis. At the same time you must
restructure the balance between public and private sector and deal with a
looming pension and PFI shortfall. You are also embroiled in at least one
nasty overseas war. Do you take advice from:

a The Self Proclaimed “Cross Bow Cannibal”
b David Icke, or
c Polly
Toynbee

Note. In order to make this question compliant with Elf n Safety and also
in accordance with the former government’s drive to raise educational
standards by giving everyone an A grade, you will be given a hint. Answer a =
10 marks. Answer b = 15 points. Answer c gets you sectioned under the Mental
Health Act.

Gildas the Monk

Ian Thorpe June 23, 2010 at 14:26

Leaving the sentimental stuff aside I was shocked by Polly Toynbee’s
maligning of the budget because the VAT rise will “push the country back into
recession”

Now if Georgie Osborne had slapped an extra 20% on goods that might make me
think twice before spending but an extra

Thaddeus J.
Wilson June 23, 2010 at 14:45

Ian, your comment presupposes that people’s time has no value. In my
case, the five minutes extra I get in bed in the morning is worth the

Anna
Raccoon June 23, 2010 at 14:57

Thaddeus J.
Wilson June 23, 2010 at 15:07

It costs that if you go to Tesburys. If you go to Pret, you’re lucky
to get change out of a fiver.

Very sad to hear that shopping is so dear in la belle France,
though.

Anna
Raccoon June 23, 2010 at
15:24

It’s a combination of factors here Thadd. One, VAT has been at
19.6% for a long time, two, ‘cotisations’ – the sort of combined
pension and health apyments made for our superb health service are
very high so staffing costs are high, and three, most important of
all, they just don’t sell cheap shoddy food here. Eveything is of the
highest quality. Your leg of lamb will be superb, probably the best
you have ever had unless you are lucky enough to live on a Welsh Farm,
but it will cost you around 27 euros – and don’t get me started on the
price of Turkeys at Christmas!

Dig for
Victory June 23, 2010 at 15:26

Meal preparation time is valuable, communicate with the kids, teach
them how to feed themselves, cheaply. It’s the bloody TV

Alan June 23, 2010 at 16:22

And yet the Government want us to use our time sorting rubbish.

In a very, very general sense VAT taxes the thing that makes us more
productive – the division of labour.

bofl June 23, 2010 at 14:13

the telly!

oh gawd!

the uk tv reporting is pathetic……meaningless drivel churned out according
to the manual……the funniest ‘items’ are whn they find the local vicar to
blather on about the ‘community’ as if we are a nation of god fearing crofters
living on rockall!

western society DEPENDS on consumerism!
it was the same in the 60′s when
jagger/richards wrote ‘satisfaction’……

our children are assaulted daily by the media…buy this,buy that…….

if you haven’t got the latest gizmo then you are poor or scum…..(children
can be very hurtful)

my mates kids go to private school.the mums turn up in

martha June 23, 2010 at 14:05

ahh the good old breast of lamb, when my kids were small, I’d chop it into
slices, roast it with tatties, the kids believed they were lamb chops until
their teens. Back then the butcher gave them away I saw one in Asda the other
day

Dig for Victory
June 23, 2010 at 13:30

Just wandered in off the net, not been here before, very sensible
conversation, what a refreshing change.

Anyone got a good idea or a good link for enjoying lamb breast? (could be
an inexpensive luxury I was told, but it didn’t come with instructions)

Brian June 23, 2010 at 15:41

Try googling lamb breast Sainte Menehoud. If you use a slow-cooker
(another money saver) for the first stage you get excellent lamb soup stock
for freezing as well. I’m not a pensioner but I know good value food.

Anna, how can food be so dear in France when the farmers are subsidised
so much via the CAP by English townies? I understand that Kiwi farmers get
no subsidy yet NZ lamb is cheaper than English lamb.

Anna
Raccoon June 23, 2010 at 15:46

Brian, see my response to Thadd above!

Brian June 23, 2010 at 17:31

ou ci-dessous as they say en Waitrose. So, if average household
income is Euros 10,000, tax is higher and food is more expensive, why
aren’t les grenouilles on strike/carbequeuing every day instead of every
other day? I’m sure the

Anna
Raccoon June 23, 2010 at
18:40

Brian,
Income tax for a two person family doesn’t kick in until
around 18,000 euros, add more children and it kicks in correspondingly
later (we are taxed per family, rather than per individual) more than
50% of tax is raised through VAT – so there are a lot of people around
who’s income is negligible – maybe as low as 1,000 or 2,000 a year,
but who have a few acres and grow or raise their own food, don’t
‘renovate’ thier ‘beautiful stone houses’ as the Englsih are fond of
saying, and merely exist – but in peace and happiness! They drive
those 30 mile an hour cars that don’t need a licience or road tax, and
have a healthy barter system with their neighbours. They produce their
own wine, and round here their own tobbacco too.
The CAP payments,
as in Britain, go mainly to the big farmers….

Alan June 23, 2010 at 12:50

“You don

Anna
Raccoon June 23, 2010 at 13:16

Pensioner consultants, that is a great idea Alan!

Eleanor June 23, 2010 at 17:37

Can I apply for that job? There isn’t much I don’t know about not
spending money.

I was going to write a list, but if there’s any chance of getting paid
for it then I shall hang fire.

Alan June 23, 2010 at 23:50

Putting off writing the list has saved paper and ink or graphite.
Every little ‘elps.

Pericles
June 24, 2010 at 17:32

Not really :  just 4Kb. for a Notepad file.

??

Bucko June 23,
2010 at 12:26

“”young man who said

Alan June 23, 2010 at 12:40

The telly news has long aped The Day Today and Brass Eye.

Ed P June 23, 2010 at 12:25

Or maybe you meant VAT not vat?

Ed P June 23, 2010 at 12:24

VAT has been around for ages. The Duke of Clarence was overcome by it in
1478.

Pericles June 23, 2010 at 11:54

About a dozen people in Lancashire used to administer purchase
tax ;  it involved relatively few businesses.  V.A.T. employs
virtually the whole of Southend-on-Sea and almost every business in the land
has to handle it :  an incredible waste of resources.

The fiscally most sound state in the American union is
Delaware ;  Delaware has no sales tax.  (Also has a low rate of
tax on corporate profits, which is why so many corporations are registered
there.)

Despite all the above, organizations such as the O.E.C.D. and the I.M.F.
insist on foisting V.A.T. upon any country in whose affairs they becoming
involved.  More unnecessary big government ;  as the Americans
say … go figure !

??

Gildas June 23, 2010 at 11:44

There is a lovely line in Robert Harris’ novel, Imperium -”I am old, and
the old can live on fresh air”. That should not be construed as my proposal
that the elderly (too soon to be me!) should live on the breadline – merely
that as one grows older, some material needs diminish, and one realises that
the truest wealth is peace of mind
Gildas the Monk

Gloria Smudd
June 23, 2010 at 11:28

Anna! Where did you find that lovely picture of our Mr Thaddeus taking to
the open road?

Anna
Raccoon June 23, 2010 at 11:52

Gloria,
The ex-Mrs Thaddeus sent it to me – it was the last she ever
saw of him!

Gloria Smudd
June 23, 2010 at 12:11

I am smitten! Nothing moves me quite as much as the combination of an
attractive man with a fast vehicle. I am eternally grateful to the ex-Mrs
Thaddeus for this glorious vision!

(Actually, if I’m strictly truthful, a crane could move me quite as
much but that only happens when I’m chubbily wedged somewhere and the
fire-brigade has to attend, so we’ll gloss over that one….)

Anna
Raccoon June 23, 2010 at
12:23

One is grateful for your return Ms Smudd, the last one heard of you
was dressed up as Little Bo Peep, clutching a bottle of Lambrsuco and
off to some party somewhere -and that was four or five days ago. Good
party was it? Get arrested did we?

Gloria
Smudd June 23, 2010 at 13:43

The Fashion Police were called almost as soon as I arrived, Anna.
My flab-hugging, white nylon and pink gingham Pantomime Cowgirl Outfit
was blamed for rattling the herd and I was summarily run outta town. I
didn’t even get the chance to give my spirited rendition of “Three
Wheels On My Wagon” before I was roped and hauled off through the
tumbleweed to sit and reflect among the cacti.