The well-stocked medicine cabinet. – The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Saul – Cub reporter on April 13, 2011

Recommended dosage:

Allergies Médoc 1 glass
Anaemia Graves 4 glass
Bronchitis Bordeaux 3 cups
Constipation Vouvray 4 glass
Coronary arteries Champagne 4 glass
Diarrhoea Beaujolais Nouveau 4 glass
Fever Champagne sec 1 bottle
Heart Burgundy , Santenay 2 glass
Uric acid gout Sancerre , Pouilly Fume 4 glass
Hypertension Alsace , Sancerre 4 glass
Menopause Saint Emilion 4 glass
Depression Médoc 4 glass
Obesity Burgundy 4 glass
Obesity Rosé de Provence 1 bottle
Rheumatism Champagne 4 glass
Excessive weight loss Côte de Beaune 4 glass

{ 26 comments }

Macheath April 13, 2011 at 17:20

Sheer genius!

How far down does it go?

JuliaM April 13, 2011 at 17:30

WANT!!!

Engineer April 13, 2011 at 17:50

Hmm – built in the form of a corkscrew – that’s clever. Are the beer pumps lower down?

Michael April 13, 2011 at 18:05

Glass trapdoor? Filled with wine? What a waste!

If it was me I’d have it blend in with the floor so you didn’t know it was there, then fill the whole thing with guns, ammo, spy gadgets and stuff

Anna Raccoon April 13, 2011 at 19:24

We have a glass floor over the millstream in one room – I’ve never yet met the person who is prepared to walk over it.

ivan April 13, 2011 at 20:30: There was the same glass floor over the mill wheel in the mill house in the next village to me. I supervised the renovation for the new owners – the builder wanted to concrete it over, they wanted it left – I changed builders and that glass floor is now the feature of the lounge room. Knowing how it is built I usually finish up standing with Storm in the middle of it with him trying to dig his way to the water – he is a Newfoundland after all.
Andy Buck April 17, 2011 at 16:06: You sure? Didn’t your loony ex-friend Henry North London try it?

View from the Solent April 13, 2011 at 18:06

I’m puzzled. Why is the trapdoor transparent?

lilith April 13, 2011 at 18:21: So that the butler can peer up the cook’s skirt of course!

berenike April 13, 2011 at 18:23

meeeeeeee! meeeee toooooo!

Jack Savage April 13, 2011 at 18:32

On the basis I am a portly gentleman I have decided to double the dosage…

Richard B April 13, 2011 at 18:43

Oh yes. Me like.

wassname April 13, 2011 at 18:52

I asked at B&Q. Compu-ah sez “No”.

Gloria Smudd April 13, 2011 at 18:58

Menopause Saint Emilion 4 glass
Depression Médoc 4 glass
Obesity Burgundy 4 glass
Obesity Rosé de Provence 1 bottle
………..
Guess what I’m having….. go on, guess.

Livewire April 13, 2011 at 20:55: It’s not friday, but have a rhymer anyway-

After a hard day’s work as a cog (in the machine)
It’s home and a row with the sprog
But fade it all out
With a nice glass of stout
And a chaser or 3 of strong grog

For our host it would have to be Bolls Avocat…

QPQ April 13, 2011 at 19:09

Diarrhoea – Beaujolais Nouveau – 4 glasss (es).

Is this the cause or the cure ?

Ed P April 13, 2011 at 19:21

It’s a great idea and would probably have good natural temperature control.

As you do not require planning permission to tunnel beneath your own property, it’s practical and avoids council busybodies.

But, the two views do not match up: black vs. grey edges on the treads and a plastic drain pipe sticking out the top of the column in one picture is not there in the other!

AnnaNonAMoose April 13, 2011 at 19:59

It serves double purpose in event of nuclear war, air-raid shelter and plenty of wine while waiting for the all-clear siren, which might take a long time, decades even.

Livewire April 13, 2011 at 20:17

In honour of the Senior Service, when the sun’s over the yardarm it’s Navy Rum ladled from the ‘God Save The King’ barrel. They can keep their other 2 traditions to themselves (sodomy and the lash).

Dick Puddlecote April 13, 2011 at 22:20

I am sooooo jealous.

Daedalus X. Parrot April 13, 2011 at 22:23

Dear Raccoon House Furnishings Weekly,

I am very interested in the subterranean bottled medicines store that your correspondent Saul Cub reviewed in your edition of 13th April.

Of course, being a person of exquisite tastes and of moderate appetites, I feel that such an installation would suit my lifestyle quite adequately.

Therefore I hope you don’t think me being too extravagant in placing an order for seven of these installations; two for the kitchen and one each for the bedroom, bathroom, drawing room, garage and birdcage.

Oh, after consultation with my doctor in the local public hostelry (still open), I am advised to add some further medicinal unguents to the fine vintages, sorry medicines, you described. So could you please add some bottles of:
– Guinness
– Fullers London Pride
– Theakston’s Old Peculiar
– Old Speckled Hen

Muchly obliged,

Daedalus X. Parrot (hic)

P.S.
I live in a top floor flat. Hopefully your installation engineers won’t find that a problem. I haven’t asked the occupier of the flat below me, but I think he might be a teetotal ex-lawyer politician, so it is probably OK to proceed regardless.

Clarissa April 13, 2011 at 23:45

Now that puts a wine fridge to shame and as other commentators have already said in various ways… ME WANT!

2Mac April 14, 2011 at 01:28

Heathens,

Your witch craft remedies have been superceded by the most catholic majestic Châteauneuf-du-Pape. The 13 grape varieties allowed into this wine is bad news for all illnesses.

Randy Hack April 14, 2011 at 08:47