Dunnit, Dunnit, Dunnit.
I do not care what anybody says about blowing my own trumpet – ahm that reet proud o’ meself!
But amusingly – in collecting the paperwork, I managed to kick off an entire ‘Brexit/anti-EU’ argument in the centre!
They only tried to palm me off with a 1500m certificate!
64 times 25 metres is 1600m….even my shaky maths knows that.
‘I want the ‘One mile certificate’ I said. ‘1760 yards to be exact’.
‘1760 what’? she said with a look of blank incredulity.
Well, that set the rest of the queue off – average age about 70! – ‘youth of today’, etc, etc, ‘never heard of yards, probably doesn’t know how many inches in a foot either’, said someone else.
And before you knew it, we had a rousing ten way conversation going as to how we should never have gone into Europe, metrification had ruined the nation, everyone was diddled by decimalisation – and I should stick to my guns….
So I did. Managers were summoned and went scurrying back to their office, searched dusty cupboards – and found me their very last Imperial certificate. Recording every last one of my 64 lengths.
I even got a natty little badge to sew on my anorak……and before I get too big headed, it took me 2 hours and 5 minutes – without stopping! I am that slow.
Apparently the record is something like 34 minutes…
Now, how long is that English channel?
Old dogs can learn new tricks.
- Bandini
April 21, 2016 at 4:36 pm -
Very well done, Anna!
Er, but you may have to pop back to the pool for a couple of minutes as one mile is 1609.34 metres – so 9 metres and 34 centimetres still to go!- Moor Larkin
April 22, 2016 at 10:56 am -
minor infringement compared to the professionals…
The Manchester Marathon was 380m too short
https://twitter.com/i/moments/723395015343411201
- Moor Larkin
- Bill Sticker
April 21, 2016 at 4:45 pm -
Well done Anna. There are many school age children and much younger adults who couldn’t manage a tenth as much.
- Mudplugger
April 21, 2016 at 5:29 pm -
Here’s one only-slightly younger adult who’s still 1759 yards short of that total in a whole lifetime, never mind in only 2 hours 5 minutes. Hearty congratulations, from a sinker to a proper swimmer.
Watch out Esther Williams, there’s an aquatic raccoon on your tail……
- Mudplugger
- JuliaM
April 21, 2016 at 4:51 pm -
Congratz!
- Andrew Duffin
April 21, 2016 at 4:52 pm -
- Lola
April 21, 2016 at 6:19 pm -
Well done! At just approaching 38 I have been having “secret” driving lessons, having made getting my licence my self improvement challenge for the year, instructor went over test sheet today and I was pleased but nervous. I hope I can do as well as you have in driving as I won’t be swimming a mile, like Mudplugger I sink like a stone in any body of water.
- The Blocked Dwarf
April 21, 2016 at 6:19 pm -
Seems your valiant efforts were captured on film…35mm not 1-⅜ inch.
But I have to wonder why all the effort, you have a perfectly good bath. Bathing in the river might be nicely, rustically Norfolk but I would have thought you had enough health problems already to contend with…you don’t want to know what the yokels upstream ….
OK, joking aside. Very well done that bedraggled Raccoon!
- Pericles Xanthippou
April 21, 2016 at 7:28 pm -
Actually raccoons are competent swimmers. They usually dip their food in water, if they can; mainly, it’s thought, because the water increases the sensitivity of their already highly sensitive hands. This habit gave rise to their being known — in many languages — as ‘wash-bears’ (as were they ‘washing’ their food): e.g. Waschbär (German), raton laveur (French; O.K., the French can’t really be expected to know that a procyon is not a rat), orsa lavatore (Italian alternative to procione).
ΠΞ
- The Blocked Dwarf
April 21, 2016 at 7:39 pm -
” Waschbär (German)”
Thank you for that, I have often wondered why The Bestes Frau In The World and her kinfolk refer to them as ‘wash bears’..i assumed it was the teutonic equivalent of Drop bears.
- Pericles Xanthippou
April 23, 2016 at 11:21 pm -
I had to search for ‘drop bear’, lieber Zwerg: some kind of Australian bogey man, based on a koala, intended to scare the tourists apparently. As if Australians themselves were not scary enough!
ΠΞ
- Pericles Xanthippou
- The Blocked Dwarf
- Pericles Xanthippou
- :Fat Steve
April 21, 2016 at 6:29 pm -
Old dogs can learn new tricks
and some Raccoons (of the uber raccoon genus) can swim a mile .
Congrats Anna and stay well - binao
April 21, 2016 at 6:29 pm -
Huge congratulations on both counts.
Very impressed.
Especially as all those decades ago doing the badges I didn’t do the mile. In my late thirties. - jellyman
April 21, 2016 at 7:16 pm -
It’s an exceptional achievement for a raccoon…. I would belive that the design of your paws makes most humanoid strokes a little tricky…. not to shock you (or detract from your labours) …. but the record is about 15 minutes (14min 8 secs for 1500m in a 25m pool…. so 14 seconds a length)……. oooof.
- Pericles Xanthippou
April 21, 2016 at 7:31 pm -
I love it. Only 32-feet short but you’re absolutely right: noli desperandum &c.
How long is the Channel (I suspect you mean ‘how wide’)? Eighteen miles. Real miles, of course, not these damnable land-lubber ones!
Well done, anyway.
ΠΞ
- Carol42
April 21, 2016 at 7:51 pm -
Congratulations Anna, you really are amazing.
- SeXentric
April 21, 2016 at 7:56 pm -
Like former ex-pat Brit belle Francaise/modern-EU resident Anna, since returned. SeXentric is an 8 years ongoing ex-pat Brit belle Belgique/modern-EU resident staying on with the following advice.
“Swim one way to Calais stagger ashore stand up feel the freedom from Mad Dog Murdochized mainstream media. Swim t’other way faint at Dover’s Brown Cliffs, buzzards over, wake up smell the 24/7 all Murdochized mainstream bullshit.”
Quote WW2 famed Brit songbird Dame Vera ‘Linnet’ interviewed overlooking dire Dover on the 60th of VE-Day, May ’05, “Was it all worth it?”
Vera’s BIG Hit from a far off pre-Mad Dog Murdoch sweeter time and place:
- Juliet46
April 21, 2016 at 7:59 pm -
WOW!! Well done Anna. The unsinkable Raccoon!!
- Chromatistes
April 21, 2016 at 8:17 pm -
Gronda, gronda! (as used to be said in approbation on ‘Adventure Game’ in the early-1980s)
Over two hours in the water – did anybody catch you peeing in the pool? If so, as a raccoon, you can probably invoke some EU Directive if challenged.
- Wigner’s Friend
April 21, 2016 at 10:43 pm -
Very well done, when are you starting to practice the belly flops off the high board? (Would have said 10m board but did not want to start the Imperial/Metric thing again.)
- Wendi
April 21, 2016 at 11:46 pm -
Congratulations amazing lady!
I think you might have inspired me to start working up some lengths in our nice big pool here, one I haven’t dipped a toe in since I moved here six years ago.
Well done & an A for tenacity. - Ho Hum
April 22, 2016 at 2:56 pm - missred
April 22, 2016 at 3:11 pm -
Huzza huzza! well done!
- Robert Edwards
April 23, 2016 at 7:23 am -
Don’t swim the channel – we want you here!
- IlovetheBBC
April 24, 2016 at 9:10 pm -
Brilliant Our Kid, well done!
- Peter Raite
April 25, 2016 at 12:39 pm -
I occasionally swim in the 100 yard long Tooting Bec Lido during the summer months. I have a spreadsheet to convert my sessions into metric, since that what all the other pools I swim in for the rest of the year are!
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