We’ve spent enough time discussing the hypocrisy of the main politicians – Emily Thornberry, proud owner of an ex-housing association property in North London campaigning against the Conservative manifesto pledge to allow the sale of, er, ex-housing association properties; Miliband wooing the Jewish voters by, er, backing the recognition of Palestinian statehood, to say nothing of mangling a bacon sarnie; Cameron promising a referendum of the EU in 2017 ‘after negotiations’ that the EU say can’t be held before 2019…

I thought some light relief was the order of the day – and the Green party seemed a likely provider of hypocrisy with a side order of cant.

No sooner said than done – and over to Bristol. I was halfway through a turgid article on the Green Party’s Bristol Candidate – Darren Hall – ‘Big Green Week co-curator‘, organiser of the ‘Biggest Bike Ride’ (naturally) featuring Professor Windy (it’s the Soya beans…) who starts each day with ‘The Morning Muse’ (‘Should I have had the Soya Beans and the lentils?’) (‘Is Movicol suitable for vegans?’) – enough already, when I fell in love with their main funder.

Dame Vivienne Westwood – a master class in Hypocrisy.

Dame Vivienne, when she was just plain Viv Westwood, was the ship-board comforts of Malcolm Maclaren when he set sail on the Punk era. That really should have been ‘set sale’, for the pair of them made an absolute fortune out of selling middle class kids torn t-shirts and ripped jeans so as to appear to be street urchins.

Now that Dame ‘I want to End Capitalism’ Westwood is a multi-multi-millionairess with off shore trusts to ensure that no nasty Labour or Tory Party policy can over tax her capitalist ways, she is reasserting her street credentials, by aligning herself with the sandal wearing earth protectors…

She wants to End Capitalism because:

It is not possible to continue indefinitely using up the world’s resources. Capitalism is run on fossil fuels – which are more difficult to get and running out.

She’s financing this purge on fossil consuming capitalism by making sandals (what else?) ‘slave sandals’, to be precise, which turn out to be £200 quids worth of pure PVC…that’s the fossil concern and the anti-capitalist stance with one bullet methinks…

If you’re really quick, you can snap up Vivienne’s ‘Opus’; 25kg of photographs of her family and friends specially bound in her ‘legendary and iconic’ squiggle design for a mere £1,400 from the Victoria and Albert Museum. That is a bargain compared to the cost of staring at an entire carpet covered with her ‘legendary and iconic’ squiggle design in the ‘Vivienne Westwood designed’ penthouse suite of the London West Hollywood Hotel at a mere $25,000 a night. Or you could just let your kids loose with a marker pen and save the environment.

God knows how many carbon footprints Vivienne used up as she designed that suite – the air miles were probably shared with her trips to acquire a six-story French Beaux Arts townhouse in New York which will display (and flog to well-heeled matrons) her ‘gold capsule’ collection. Her image may be one of ‘couldn’t afford a pair of knickers to wear when meeting the Queen’ but the reality is of consummate capitalism with knobs on.

Darren Hall, the man she has been financing, is, beside being the Green Party’s Candidate, the manager of the Bristol Green Capital Partnership. An independent leadership organisation whose aim is to make Bristol “a low carbon city with a high quality of life for all”. That’s how he gets to sit in a waterside office with a stunning view over the harbour where all those slave ships used to berth, somehow fitting that his roost there is financed by Vivienne’s ‘Slave Sandals’. The Lib-Dems operate out of an eco-friendly converted garage.

Bristol has just won ‘European Green Capital 2015‘ – the European Union’s annual ‘who’s got the most wind turbines and have you got any pictures of citizens on bicycles’ award. Glasgow was right behind them… One of the deciding factors that swayed the judges was that:

75% of the city’s population agree with the evidence on climate change according to a poll conducted in the city, compared to just over 50% nationally.

That’s the way lads, reward the disciples.

So now the Green Party goes forward in Bristol, backed by a tax avoiding, fossil fuel consuming, unpaid intern employer, who shuttles back and forth over the Atlantic flogging her ‘legendary and iconic’ squiggles and PVC sandals to the super rich.

Chris Luffingham, the Green party campaigns director, said: “The Green party wholeheartedly welcomes Vivienne’s support. To receive backing from such a highly respected campaigner, who has been so prominent in the battle against fracking and broader issues of climate change, is a real boom to the party as we look to translate the ‘Green surge’ into votes at the general election in May.

On yer bikes. More of a boom-boom joke I’d say. I suspect he meant ‘boon’.

Next week: We investigate whether UKIP is financed by Watney’s Beer and Players cigarettes…

Week after: Is George Galloway financed by Mossad?