The ‘Pompey Lads’ – its such a friendly nickname. It was bestowed with honour on the fine young men of Portsmouth who were killed in action on HMS Good Hope when she was sunk 100 years ago this month, with the loss of all 900 men aboard.

Now the media use it to describe the 5 disaffected Bangladeshi Britons who have travelled to Syria to join the ISIS Beheadists.

It seems to have been coined by the Sunday Times last year, so far as a cursory Google search will tell me; God knows why – presumably for the same reason the media feel the need to decontaminate those who steal a car, blind drunk, then rampage at high speed through their local district mowing all before them in order to earn the media tag of ‘Joy Rider’.

Quite why these five became ‘disaffected’ is the subject of much discussion. The popular view is that they are part of an ‘underclass’ that has been left out of Britain’s march to the promised land – yet that simply isn’t true.

Only two, Choukri Ellekhlifi, 22, and Mohammed el-Araj, 23, of the so far 23 reported dead had a criminal record or could be described as ‘under privileged’ – the others all had good jobs; working for Sky, in the computer industry, in banking, one turned out to be a North London estate agent as though that profession was not already sufficiently maligned. Those that were not of working age were well educated – Mehdi Hassan, the latest to be killed, was privately and expensively educated at one of the De Salle Brothers Catholic colleges – these aren’t young men who have been parachuted into British society from poor Madrasas in Bangladesh – they are the scion of Bangladeshi immigrants who have prospered in the UK.

“These people come from every background imaginable but when you compare Brits to other Europeans, it’s clear that those from this country tend to be better educated, more affluent, and have greater social mobility than their peers on the continent.”

Another popular view is that they have become enraged by the actions of the US and its allies, including the UK, and have signed up with ISIS to ‘kill infidels’ – but they are not stupid; they will know perfectly well that the nearest they will get to an American or British military objective is by gazing upwards 20/30 thousand feet into the sky – the people they will be targeting with those AK-47s they are so fond of posing with will be other Muslims, that’s who gets to walk around at ground level – you know, just like the ‘brothers’ they used to pray with back in the local Mosque at home. The sons of other Allah-fearing parents just like theirs.

Perhaps it is the lure of the famed 72 virgins? I hope they’ve tattooed their name on the side of their crown jewels – for when they, or what’s left of them, arrive at Allah’s Gate having been on the receiving end of a sidewinder missile, it is unrealistic to suppose that all parts will arrive simultaneously – they’ll be on a par with an Ikea kitchen….three ears, a left foot, and a promissory note that your pride and joy that you’d been stroking in nightly anticipation will be sent ‘as soon as stocks permit’. Some kind of rapture you’ll enjoy with those virgins making do with what’s left of an elderly goatherd’s shrivelled flaccid penis – or the left foot, that the accompanying diagram assures you will fit….

Who are these virgins that they are intending to defile anyway? The Allah-fearing sisters and daughters of their Muslim brothers? Maybe their own sisters and daughters? Those 23 Britons already use up 1656 virgins – they may run out before the intrepid Pompey lads get served…although I gather some of the British contingent have been sending home for takeouts before half time.

So what do I deduce is the prototype ISIS Beheadist?

A privately Catholic-educated North London estate agent with a lethal desire to wipe out fellow Muslim’s and a penchant for deflowering his brother’s sister? Not very Koranic is it?

Why is the British media doing the recruiting for this murderous bunch? Why are we being treated to stories about how Mehdi Hassan ‘loved his coco-pops‘ and was a ‘loving boy with a good heart wishing to help Syrians’ (quote from his mother ‘who didn’t want to be named’ – so no figuring out that Mrs Hassan’s son’s mother might be called……?) and interviews with Newsnight (Ifthekar Jaman via Skype).

Pity that sedition is no longer an offence in this country – thanks to the 2009 Coroners and Justice Act – I wonder why the Labour government thought it no longer necessary to have the ability to prosecute British citizens for inciting and persuading other British citizens to disaffection with our country? That law had been hanging around quite harmlessly for hundreds of years – and just when we need it – pooft! Gone.

Philip Hammond has suggested that returning Jihadists be charged with Treason – that seems a bit over the top – we are not technically at war with ISIS and our cuddly coco-pops loving Pompey beheadists are not threatening ‘the Crown’ – but Sedition would have come in handy.