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Roaches in Roachia.

Roachia, so the ever reliable urban dictionary informs me, is an online roleplaying community with its own religions, culture, and lifestyles where users can create up to three characters and live a virtual life, engaged in complicated and twisting plot lines. A bit like Narnia, but instead of magic, mythical beasts, and talking animals, the latest incarnation of Roachia involves middle-aged ‘children’ who are part of the new religion of ‘you will be believed’ with its mythical paedophiles, high priests and a chattering #hashtag jury.
When C. S. Lewis was talking about his inspiration for the fictional land of Narnia he said:
The Lion all began with a picture of a Faun carrying an umbrella and parcels in a snowy wood.
This picture had been in my mind since I was about sixteen. Then one day, when I was about forty, I said to myself: ‘Let’s try to make a story about it’.
The fictional Roachia story that has been unfolding in Preston all began with a Fan carrying a signed picture and a polite reply from an actor – and then one day 40 years later she tried to make a story from it……Life imitates art!
The #hashtag jury has no truck with ancient methods of justice; ‘innocent until proven guilty’. They know you are guilty from the moment you are accused and publicly pilloried. Thus Bill Roache being cleared by a jury of his peers can only be an example of a corrupt judiciary, masonic influence, and even ‘poor evidence gathering’ by the local police. Not enough women came forward to claim that he must have raped them – they just couldn’t remember when; or where, or, well, anything about it – but he definitely did it!
I feel very sorry for those women – they are now forever labelled liars and fantasists; yet their true crime was to be taken in by the high priests of this new religion. I feel very sorry for the dozens, possibly hundreds, of young girls – and boys – currently being sexually abused in family homes up and down the country.
What must they be thinking as they watch these farcical ‘celebrity’ trials collapse?
‘But the newspapers all said Jimmy Savile was guilty – without any trial’! ‘If I go to the Police whilst my abuser is still alive I will be labelled a liar – best I keep quiet until he’s dead then’.
The high priests of the ‘You will be believed’ movement have a lot to answer for. They have had their fame, their financial rewards, their celebrity and Twitter followers – and they have left behind a tattered justice system that will do nothing for the credibility of little Agnes Bluebottle, abused by a nobody, a nothing, a paltry ‘Uncle Fred’ that nobody has time to investigate – our wonderful Police are too busy holding inquiries into inquiries into inquiries to find out why you can’t get a conviction on a man when you haven’t got any credible evidence – something a first year law student could tell them the answer to.
‘You will be believed’ has been called a ‘new religion’ – but something bothers me about that simile. This religion is well nigh unique. 
Most religions have some sort of written record that the true believers learn by heart. True, it may claim that 5,000 people were fed from five fishes – and you may read those claims and scoff. You can at least read those claims. And then scoff.
This religion is based upon a holy book, known as the ‘Yewtree tablets’. The high priests guard it well. They claim that it contains testament from hundreds of people touched by the new Devil – Jimmy Savile. They say that these testaments must never be investigated, cannot be exposed to the light of day. Just recorded in the great tablets – and those who gave testament must be rewarded from the great public coffers – in secret.
Now one or two of those who gave testament couldn’t wait for the great public coffers to be opened, and took the media shilling in the meantime – and were exposed to a scoffing public as charlatans, fabricators, fabulists. They claimed to have been touched by the ‘Devil’ years before he visited the premises in which this heinous crime was said to have occurred, or in a car he didn’t own until ten years later…..and much scorn, vitriol and spittle was heaped upon the head of heretics, such as I, who pointed this out!
‘Aha’! said the high priests of Youwillbebelieved, ‘so I’ll grant you that that story was a load of poppycock, but we cannot expose the rest of the stories to your gaze, because it would traumatise the anonymous testamentors -and they are telling the truth, absolutely, without question, you can take our word for it’.
Its a new Christianity for the Secular age – but nobody is allowed to know the testament of the tablets.  You are just told that events ‘occurred’. In secret. To anonymous people. Known only to the high priests.
And #Ibelieve cry the faithful. (And to be inclusive #Ibeleive cry the dyslexic. No really!)
‘Tis truly a miracle in an age of unbelievers. Can you believe that these faithful believers know not what it is that they believe? They’ve never been allowed to know.

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