Wearing your heartfelt denial on your sleeve…

by Anna Raccoon on December 7, 2012

The perfect Christmas gift for the elderly celebrity in your life. Forget the reindeers and Santa Christmas jumper this year for Grandpa. Buy him the latest shawl collared fleece jumper at Macy’s, with a handy pocket on the sleeve to display a 2.8 inch OLED screen that can show 10 solid hours of video of his lawyer emerging from the steps of the police station to categorically deny the latest ‘Savile’ allegations. No more embarrassing questions down at the golf club; no need to repeat yourself at the old age pensioner’s Christmas lunch. Continuous loop replay – ‘I did’na do it; I never met the girl; I was’na there’. Best order early, they’ll sell out at this rate.

{ 29 comments }

Doreen December 8, 2012 at 10:42

They come early in the morning, to the big posh house, with snow on the
roof, in more ways than one. They remove lots of ‘stuff’.
Then someone lets
the gladsome news out to the MSM. That’s the bit I always wonder at!. Perhaps
there are lots of ‘stake outs’ first thing am. Or someone is running a book on
the next ‘snowy roof ‘ to be lifted and peer inside. We are a funny lot in
England these days. It must be very scary if you are an old celeb with snow on
the roof, trying to recall if you ‘goosed ‘ a bird 30/40/50 years ago.

Ted Treen December 8, 2012 at 22:42

I can’t help wondering why, when investigating a complaint of
‘inappropriate behaviour’ alleged to have taken place around FORTY YEARS
ago, Plod deems it necessary to remove bin liners full of whatever-it-is
from the investigated’s residence. Surely, if someone HAD jiggled a
groupie’s boobs back in the heady days of 1972, there would not be bin
liners full of reminders, reminiscences or souvenirs.

I don’t suppose it could be grandstanding for the MSM and the great
unwashed, could it?

Peter Raite December 11, 2012 at 17:12: One particular arrest would probably have seemed to Inspector Knacker
to present a whole range of fringe benefits in terms of
“evidence-gathering”….

Elena ‘andcart December 8, 2012 at 10:12

Frankie? You wanna marry me? Stay right there, I’ll come and get you.
That’ll sort The Winter Fuel Allowance.

Stuart Hall December 7, 2012 at 19:04

Some hobbies stand the test of time. I first started playing cheekies with
little girls when I was seven years old.

Elena ‘andcart December 7, 2012 at 19:52

Oh God, it wasn’t me, was it? Down Chevening Road Park in 1950. If so, I
have to tell you that you weren’t frightfully good at it. But then most men
aren’t, so don’t develop a complex about it at this late stage.
PS. Do
you want to have another go at it?

Stuart Hall December 7, 2012 at 20:57

Ellie?

Elena ‘andcart December 7, 2012 at 21:14

Stewie? Could you have a bath? If so, see you down The Park. Same
Bush. Some things never change.

Frank Limadere December 8, 2012 at 07:54: Does this mean the engagement is off?

John Galt December 7, 2012 at 15:59

The problem with all of these aged slebrities is they don’t understand
punctuation.

They can’t tell the difference between “Don’t Stop!” and “Don’t, Stop!”

:-)

Elena ‘andcart December 7, 2012 at 19:07

Words, Lovely, and the use of. This is what smart arses do. You just have
to sort out what they aren’t saying. Have you ever watched Politician
bandying words? They never actually say anything, not even the good ones.
Presuming that there is any such an animal.

Ted Treen December 8, 2012 at 22:36: Regarding politicians and words, Mr Holmes on Sky News put it very
succinctly:

http://kebabtime.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/balls-does-talk-balls.html

Gotta admire the man…

Elena ‘andcart December 7, 2012 at 15:40

I think that Britain has finally gone collectively Mad. I saw this coming
more than twenty years ago, which is one of the reasons for why I got out. I
didn’t want to be there to watch my lovely Country go down the pan.
At the
moment my Siege Store Cupboard is looking good while I wait for various
dependents to descend on me. All of mine are more than capable of getting
themselves across La Manche in some boat or another, when they finally realise
that all is lost.
These are the last days of The Decline of The British
Empire. History repeating itself in Britain rather than Rome.
And anyway, I
can always eat this stuff myself if I am wrong. It certainly won’t get any
cheaper.

Engineer December 7, 2012 at 18:42

It’s odd. Follow the main media, and the country is going down the pan.
But when you talk to ordinary people just going about normal life, the
opinions are completely different and usually very rational. There is
definitely something in the theory that politicians, media and BBC exist in
a different reality to the rest of us.

Elena ‘andcart December 7, 2012 at 19:01

That seems to be the real problem. It helps to view it from this side
of The Channel, where we could all be laughing ourselves silly, if it was
even remotely funny.
As it is, I need to sleep easy in my bed, which I
was no where near doing when I left UK twenty years ago. In fact, I slept
here with the lights on for six months before I became comfortable. This
is such a terrible thing to do to elderly and aging people who are part of
The Rest of Us.

Edna Fletcher December 7, 2012 at 22:10

It is those that wield unfounded power over the lives of others, even
if a handed down version from up high, that are not merely ‘off the wall’
as far as the ordinary man (or woman) in the street is concerned but pose
a real threat to human life. No one in this country can any more work out
whether an alternative could ever be a reality, whereby jobsworths are
stripped of all personal powers and re-clothed warmly in open public
accountability- that includes the MSM.

Time to jump the sinking ship before we all drown in the base stupidity
enveloping us. Then we’ll all freeze to death- boy is it cold out
here.

GildasTheMonk December 8, 2012 at 09:03