I started off with a jokey rant about PC World.  Not, as our noble readers might have assumed, against the Politically Correct thought police, kill joys and Quislings who would prescribe we all eat only muesli and abstain from fine ale, wear sandals, and would gladly make Christmas unlawful on the grounds that it might offend illegal immigrants and ex members of the Mujahedeen who are currently claiming asylum whilst living in 7 bedroom mansions in Kensington. Pish and tosh! No, a rant about the real enemy within, PC bloody World. Who seem to have merged with that other spawn of Satan in the world of electricals, Currys. A truly unholy and unnatural union.

It is my own fault. I have had bad experiences before. These stores are invariably staffed by either spotty little geeks who can’t communicate or aggressive sales types. I am not very computer literate and I find the whole thing a bit of a bore and a mystery and quite stressful. I just want to get in, buy something and get home so I can find out that (inevitably) I can’t make it work anyway and have “closure”. I have never had any sensible advice from any of the staff, and I have never forgiven them for the salesman who told me the laptop I was buying had Wi-Fi (or something) when it didn’t. And then the bloody thing overheated anyway and broke. So I have always made it my determined policy to keep out of the places. I have stuck to it for a long time.

But this week I had an emergency. You see I was writing away, doing some urgent sermons or some such (freelance sermon writing makes me a few bob on the side) when *phut!* my battered old monitor abruptly passed on to the Other Side! A quick, clean death, but highly inconvenient.

So I needed a new monitor. In a state of high dudgeon I decided not to do my usual and rely on the hugely dependable and efficient Amazon. I could access that via my laptop but I would have had to wait a day or two and I wanted my main PC back up and running straight away. So I decided to take decisive action and toddled toute de suite in the monkmobile down to the nearest PC outlet, which happened to be PC Word/Currys at a joyless retail park.

I entered into the vast, soulless outlet, and to be fair at first it didn’t go too badly. OK, so what if the entire place is like some giant celebratory Damien Hirst tribute to the underclass who just sit drinking lager and watching their relatives and mates on Jeremy Kyle all day and Sky Sports all night on these huge “surround sound” things? I could live with that.

It actually had a half decent array of monitors, and I could buy one for less than £90.00 including VAT, provided I didn’t want one with high resolution for “gaming” or something. I didn’t. I just want to type stuff. Even the sales bloke was Ok and offered to go and get me one out of storage. So far, so good. Then the fun and games began. Was I using it for a business or for home use? Yes, was the accurate answer. I use it for business at home. Ah well, then I had to go to the business centre to pay to get a VAT receipt. So off he goes to get one from the store and there I am standing in this big hanger which at 10 o’clock in the morning is pounding out a cacophony of various noises (films, different media all blasting out) and I am getting a headache even remembering it. And then the bloke in the “business centre” starts interrogating me!

“Are you registered with us?” says he.

“No,” says I.

“So what is your post code?” he asks, firing up his computer, and expecting me to give it like all the other customers do.

“None of your business” says I, in that polite but menacing way I can always feel before a serious pub fight starts, and you reach for a bottle or a snooker cue.

I am not being that funny. I am not that fussed or conspiracy minded, but I just don’t like or want to be on people’s data bases. I don’t have a reward card from Tesco or Sainsbury’s for example. I just prefer anonymity. I don’t want spam emails or junk mail either. So here is this bloke telling me that he can’t give me a VAT invoice unless I give him my name address and email and date of birth. At which point we had a bit of an altercation because I didn’t want to give any information. It got very irritating with me having to explain to this Muppet that I didn’t want to share my intimate details with his bosses, and that I didn’t want to.

To be fair, it wasn’t his fault, he will be just have been obeying orders from on high, doing his pretty s**t job as told. In fact, because I was in a hurry and not particularly in the mood for an argument or a fight so I decided to compromise and gave them all the information they wanted. So I now have an invoice with the name of Mr. S. Holmes of 221B Baker Street, and they will be merrily sending spam emails to jasperthespanker69@filthnet.com. But on the other hand I now probably have a duff VAT invoice.

I am sure they can’t demand information with menaces like this, unless I have got something wrong. I find it quite unacceptable and just bloody hard work and I have vowed never to go back EVER. Down with PC World!

And that was supposed to be the rant for the day, until out of the corner of my eye this tweet from Professor Richard Dawkins popped up on my time line.

“Pakistani girl, child of Christian parents, charged with victimless crime, threatened by vile, sanctimonious barbarians“

This is the story of Rimsha Masih. She is in prison in Pakistan, facing charges that she burned pages of the Noorani Qaida, a religious book used to teach the Koran to children.

In the chaotic, corrupt and calamitous world that is Pakistan a great deal is uncertain. It is not clear exactly how old she is. She could be in mid or late teens. It is not clear what her mental state is. There are claims that she has Downs Syndrome and other mental health issues. Others deny it. She faces potentially a death penalty. Some deny that.

The link above is to an article in the New York Times describing the rabble rousing antics of the “cleric” Mohammad Khalid Chisti, the man (I use the word in its loosest possible sense) who denounced Rimsha Masih and who is cheer leading for the harshest possible sentence. Leaving aside the basic observation that any teenage girl who goes round burning pages of the Kiddies Koran in a Pakistani slum is probably mad as a box of frogs and needs a hug and care, or deserving of a clip round the ear for utter stupidity because there are ignorant zealots like Chisti about, that is about it. According to the article Mr Chisti had the following to say whilst winding up a crowd. I quote with respect to the Times:

 “I can be chopped into pieces, but I will not bow,” Mr. Chisti said in a strong, emotional voice to a gathering of like-minded local residents. “My self-respect and my life is for the Koran. I will fight for it till my last breath.”

As an occasional writer on matters spiritual, this is both depressing and frightening. How can I understand the logical complaints of those who oppose organised religions when there are morons like Chisti about! These people have no more concept of the truths which are – I happen to think – taught by great spiritual leaders and speakers than a fish in the North Sea has about a sunset. They are devoid of wit, thought, love, compassion or insight. They are the antithesis of what Christ or Buddha or Krishna taught.

For these people, religion is no more than an exercise in tribal superiority. It touches on the essence of all totalitarian and fascist dogma, because at its heart is the premise that those not toeing the sectarian line are fair game, worthless, sub –human. Welcome to the hell pits of Belsen! On this topic, the Politically Correct World that bows to all things “ethnic” is pernicious, and a threat to freedom, democracy, justice, love, goodness and humanity.

Gildas the Monk        

m.barnesSeptember 7, 2012 at 14:30

I am as angry and dismayed as Gildas about the blasphemy case in Pakistan.
Does it ever end? Miller’s The Crucible is going to be relevant forever. I
wish I believed in Hell and that these holy men doing their idea of gods work
would burn in it.

LerxstSeptember 3, 2012 at 21:57

Wouldn’t touch PC World with a bargepole. I had got into the habit of using
Dell, but after the way my last PC died and the completely disinterested
response I had from their helpdesk, they won’t be getting any more custom from
me. If you’re prepared to wait and get the PC made up from scratch PC
Specialist have a pretty good reputation: http://www.pcspecialist.co.uk/

Bob HSeptember 3, 2012 at 14:11

Only a fool contributes voluntarily to the galaxy sized customer database
that is accumulating out there. For that reason I try to pay cash for
everything, unless I am forced to buy online.
Some time ago, I had to
transfer about £1200 pounds from one bank to another to ensure a direct debit
could be made. The easiest and quickest was to withdraw cash and walk across
the road with the wad to the other bank. As I handed it to the teller and she
started processing it, she announced that under the new money laundering
regulations, I didn’t have to answer, but she was obliged to ask me where the
money came from. I contemplated it for a moment, leaned back to look left and
right at the other customers, and replied with a very loud voice. “Where did
all my money come from? Oh, that’s easy, it comes from a little money
laundering scam I run.”
Everyone looked around, and the poor teller threw
her hands up in horror. “You didn’t have to say that did you.” She was
completely lost now and hadn’t a clue what to put in the tick box.
If you
are in a place where you are forced to give details, just make sure they are
spoof ones. So when you speak to any salesman, and they automatically force an
unwanted card into your hand, keep it in your wallet. Then when you are asked
for your details, just hand them any convenient card. You might be doing that
previous salesman a service, he might just want that double glazing quote.
Just remember to keep only the cards for the same sex as yourself, otherwise
the next person tends to spot the difference, and you might have a difficult
job coming up with a sex change story at short notice.

JamesSeptember 3, 2012 at 07:14

Gildas, you have nothing to apologise for, I was just having a very bad
day. That stupid remark of mine was more in reference to an opinion you
expressed in a different post (By Anna concerning the disabled) and anyway,
you are perfectly entitled to an opinion without having to put up with sniping
from me. Sorry.

JezSeptember 3, 2012 at 02:36

I’m elderly and computer illiterate. Solution – brought a Mac. Problem
solved. Truly.
Stick with Amazon. Unbelievable service. I’ve had an account
with them for 5 years. Never let me down. That includes
Buying items from
Amazon Market place. Rock solid guarantees. Wouldn’t touch ebay with a barge
pole.
I too was falsely accused of theft when I was fifteen back on the
fifties. No one believed me. I have never known such loneliness. The
experience lives with me to this day. I deeply sympathise with anyone who has
experienced this. Hopefully today young people will have a group or
organisation to turn to for support bless them.

Blessings.

Jez

TonySeptember 2, 2012 at 22:34

Nice article, bunch of idiots they are too. Although PC World and Curry’s
have been one and the same for years I think, both part of the DSG Group.
Identical plastikit twats always trying to shaft you for an extended warranty.
If they had any confidence in what they were selling they wouldn’t need to try
and sell you that, it’s all a big scam and where most of their profit comes
from.

JimSSeptember 2, 2012 at 22:13

Buyer Beware, Shop Around etc. No retailer is perfect.

I fancied buying an e-reader, that sounds like a brand of firelighter.
Apparently it is the best selling product at the well-know online retailer
that sounds like a river. I needed it as a present, would it be delivered in
time? Twenty minutes later I wander into the store we are all supposed to
dislike.

Yes they have the e-reader in stock. What is the price? Same as the online
retailer so that is no worse and I get to get it in my hand now.

Then, apparently the sales pitch starts. Oh no! The ears start to shut
down. Replacement guarantee, voucher, free cover all for £xx. Hang on! That’s
the same price as on the card isn’t it? All that for free? Yes, for the same
price as the online retailer I get the replacement guarantee (whatever that
is), £10 off a future purchase and a choice of cover (priced at£15) for free.
Can’t be bad can it?

DiocleseSeptember
2, 2012 at 20:33

I agree with you – PC World are idiots. And its actually none of their
business whether you use it for personal or professional use. You’ll get a
till receipt with VAT on it anyway and that’s all you need to claim the VAT if
you put it through your books. Job done!

Friend of Dog
September 2, 2012 at 19:53

23 years ago I bought a camera from a Tottenham Court Road shop for cash. I
refused to give my name and address. Police were called. They laughed. The
manager returned my money because he wasn’t allowed to sell anything without a
name and address . I bought my camera at the shop next door. I see that
stupidity still reigns in the retail sector.

Thor2HammerSeptember 2, 2012 at 17:50

Imam Chisti is quoted (by ‘The Times’ – and presumably in translation) as
saying “I can be chopped into pieces, but I will not bow,”
I quote “The
BUG’ alien in ‘Men in Black’ – “Your proposal is acceptable.”

My father had a ‘strategy’ with impertinent demands for ‘Nam-undress-pluz’
– or for complaining that he DID NOT want further offers from magazines (or
from other fine Companies they trusted!) – giving wrong middle initials, and
using these in the last part of Postcode.
This usually resulted in a
‘Sincere Apology’ letter – apparently signed “Ethel Snake – Head of [illegible
lack-of-communication] Dept – which could be returned in the SAE provided –
and generated additional income for the Post Office. Some such
non-correspondence went through numerous iterations – usually with increases
very similar to the Fibonacci sequence. The aforementioned ‘fine Companies’ –
and the ‘Personal Squiggle to Chairman’ of a number of others – must have
thought (?) he was quintuplets all living near to each other..

Ali LoweSeptember 2, 2012 at 15:42

I had exactly the same experience in PC World. They asked for my name and
postcode etc but I refused to give it to them, When I said that I’d compromise
and give them my address and postcode from the first house I bought 30 years
ago they refused to accept it. He said that he couldn’t process my purchase
unless I gave him a valid postcode etc.

I looked around the store and said in a loud voice. “Right then, if that’s
the case I’ll just go to Argos and you lot have lost a sale”. I walked out,
went into Argos (next door) and made my purchase with no hassle at all.

When PC World was Dixons back in the 80s I went in to buy a joystick and
was told that I had to buy a computer to go with it. I already had a ZX
Spectrum and didn’t want another. So I walked out then as well.

If I was a shareholder I’d be asking some serious questions about their
business model.

I never go into PC World anymore. I use an independent guy just out of the
city center. You know it makes sense.

amfortasSeptember 2, 2012 at 14:01

TR: “those experiences were paralyzingly frightening at the time”

Yes, and thanks for the company, Sir.

Maybe we can have a seat at our clubroom table for that girl in Pukistan
too.

BrianSeptember 2,
2012 at 13:53

Gildas,

I hope this
blogpost and comments answers your PC World question.

As for your second ramble about Rimsha Masih, I hope your post doesn’t
attract the reasoned criticism that Adil Ray and Tom Holland have been
receiving this week about their television programmes.

Twenty Rothmans
September 2, 2012 at 13:25

I run infrastructure projects for a major international bank. To my friends
(and their friends) this means that I Know Everything About Computers.

That’s not strictly true, of course, but I always get asked, in the way
that doctors/dentists/lawyers/accountants get asked about that
rash/filling/spent conviction/audit.

I have lost count of the number of times I have said “YOU DID WHAT?”. It
usually involves a friend going to PCW/Currys and getting fleeced.

In fact, just last week, one pal was persuaded that his WiFi dongle would
not reach further than 10 feet, and he had to buy an incredibly overpriced
replacement.
“YOU DID WHAT?” Or

“They said I should buy this Norton 360, they gave me a discount for the
first year”
“YOU DID WHAT?”

“My machine was slow so I asked them and I got a replacement”
“YOU DID
WHAT?”

As anyone who Knows Everything About Computers knows, unbreaking what
others have wrought is time-consuming. I have given up on not accepting money
for it. In doing so, I am helping drive PCW/Currys out of business, which can
only be a good thing.

amfortas
As a young man, I was also falsely accused of something.
– twice. One was nasty and the other was very heavy – as in really, really
heavy. It won’t make you feel better, but I know what you have felt. I think
that I have a relatively strong character, but those experiences were
paralyzingly frightening at the time. A university friend of mine was falsely
accused of rape (he didn’t even know the girl, the cops just picked him up
because he had a beard) and they gave him a thrashing. So I suppose we got off
lightly.

Gildas
“YOU DID WHAT?”

20R

Joe PublicSeptember 2, 2012 at 13:13

Regarding your other sad story about Rimsha Masih.

Maybe the powers-that-be should consider extremely harsh punishment for
burning pages of the Koran.

The latest news (1 hr ago) suggests that it was the imam himself who
planted the “evidence” to frame the girl.

http://rt.com/news/pakistan-girl-imam-evidence-168/

Joe PublicSeptember 2, 2012 at 12:47

Their receipts automatically show their VAT Reg No, so the entire palaver
was a waste of your & their time.

Perhaps you could moonlight, by offering their staff “Confessionals” at a
discount-for-bulk-purchase, as they’d clearly misled you.

jerymSeptember 2, 2012 at 12:34

Usually in these situations they also ask you to pay at least 10% every
year to repair it if it does`nt work

JimSSeptember 2, 2012 at 12:07

Amazing Amazon take payment and deliver the goods without knowing anything
about you! Incredible!

Joe Public
September 2, 2012 at 12:49

If they don’t know the address + postcode to actually deliver to, then
that really must be incredible.

perksieSeptember 2, 2012 at 11:54

Buy on get one free day obviously!

JamesSeptember 2, 2012 at 11:46

Gildas, while I thought you were a son of Oldham, with a heart, I listened.
Now, I can’t be bothered.

I mean, obviously you are cleverer than me, but you don’t make sense.

I live my life to get rid of inequalitiy, to give people a chance. I know
that I was born onto privilege and that otherwise I would be in a mess.

Man, I believed in you.

GildasTheMonk
September 2, 2012 at 12:09

I am sorry to have disappinted you James. I didnt by the way mean to have
a go at the bloke in the store; as i said to be fair he was only doing what
he was told to do. However, if I have caused offence, I apologise.
G the
M

Anna
RaccoonSeptember 2, 2012 at
13:05

Gildas – The Immam in the Pakistani case you quoted has just been
arrested – seems he added the Koran to the pile of papers that the girl is
supposed to have burned on the grounds that ‘this is the only way to rid
the area of Christians – or so it is alleged. Gobsmacking! http://www.france24.com/en/20120902-pakistan-imam-held-blasphemy-girl-case-1?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

GildasTheMonkSeptember 2, 2012 at 14:33

I heard that too!

MichaelSeptember 2, 2012 at 11:30

I had the same experience buying school shoes for my kids yesterday. “Can I
take your postcode?”. My response was to look slightly amused and shake my
head. However I’m a sucker for money off coupons. I hope Mr. Cameron from
number 10, SW1A 2AA can find it in his heart to forgive me for all the junk
mail he gets from ASDA.

Jeremy
PoyntonSeptember 2, 2012 at
12:23

All my junk mail goes to

BT Response Centre
Bristol
BS35 3ZZ

I have a pack of A4 envelopes for the purpose. For years now they have
been sending me mail, despite me nothing that I am not the householder, so
it’s not my choice anyway, and that I would rather fry in hell than use BT
after what they did to me some years back*. I’ve even written politely to
their customer services manager noting all this, and asking them to cease
and desist, to no effect.

Result. Every now and again an A4 envelope, unstamped and full to the
gills, goes to the above address

* One day our phone stopped working. As the day before, my mum, over a
hundred miles away, had had a stroke, I needed to use the phone a lot. BT
insisted that the problem was our equipment. Two months later, they admitted
that a local junction box had flooded, and knocked out our line. Two months
in which I had to use the call box all the time.

They then offered us £20 compensation. I said – don’t bother, and closed
the account. Fuck BT. With a barbed wire bargepole up the arse.

MichaelSeptember 2, 2012 at 15:54

Yep, they managed to cut my mum off just as she was trying to arrange
my dad’s funeral. All we had asked them to do was change the name on the
bill. They were arrogant, slow and unhelpful in reinstating the phoneline
– put her on a different tariff with a mininum-term contract. They still
contact her today with marketing, as if she’d want to use their services
ever again!

amfortasSeptember 2, 2012 at 10:38

My dear Monk, do you do Confessions? I ask because I have one to make.

My first job out of school as a spotty 16 year old (we didn’t have geeks
back then and I can only claim truancy as my major scholastic achievement at
that time) was in Curry’s in Coventry, in the new (then) Mall just off
Broadgate. I was ‘schooled’ by the Manager ( a chap of around 45 with kids my
own age – not the usual today with 18 y/o managers) to push the customers
toward the ‘home-brand’ goods rather than the more expensive stuff that
actually worked. It offended me that such crap was on sale at all and there
was little chance that one could get all the way through a Buddy Holly song on
their turntables.

I was not a great salesmen as far as the Manager was concerned, even though
I did get higher commissions than the older-serving sales staff. The ‘home’
goods had smaller commissions.

I was eventually fired, but not ‘because’ of my reluctance to sell Curry’s
own products, but for stealing 2 hard earned pounds from the cleaning lady’s
purse. It was a stich-up. I rather liked the cleaning lady. She was, in fact,
a pleasant lady and we got along well. I was angry that someone had the
disgraceful mind to steal from her but the finger was pointed at me. As a
young lad I was horrified to be accused so, and interviewed by two Detectives
from Coventry’s rozzer-mob who assured me several times that they knew it was
me and that I MUST confess. Those lying barstards told all the staff that they
knew who did it – me – and that they should get me to confess ‘before they too
would come under suspicion’.

Little did it help my case to point out to all that them ‘coming under
suspicion’ when the Police ‘knew’ that I was the thief, was itself suspicious.
The Manager made it clear that I was a smart-arse and he always ‘knew’ I was a
‘bad-un’. ( I have to admit, my truant escapades had hardly shown my
‘good-boy’ side, but a reasonably good boy I was). So, I was fired.

Lads at that age can be quite traumatised by such injustice, and I was not
the exception. I was mortified. I was disgraced. Fortunately, at the time,
Britain had a ‘contract war’ fighting Indonesia in Borneo, so, after a bit of
stewing of my spleen and attaining 17 and a half to the day, I joined up and
went off to kill people. I was quite good at it.

My belated confession, Monk? I worked for Curry’s.

Forgive me. I didn’t ever do that again.

GildasTheMonk
September 2, 2012 at 10:52

Fantastic! You never know what will turn up here. and that story made my
post worthwhile!