After a week of shenanigans from Labour’s own employees who are less than impressed at their current working conditions, Red-Ed desperately needed an employment friendly sound bite to bury the image of a party who couldn’t organise the proverbial in a brewery, far less run an entire country.
With Labour activists out on the cyber waves fire fighting the embarrassing news that tax avoiders could be found nestling in the bosom of the Labour party, by introducing the notion of mens rea to the simple task of filling out your tax return – Andreas Paterson maintains that if you employ an accountant to use perfectly legal tax schemes, many of which were developed by a Labour chancellor, for the purpose of depriving the State of revenue, then you are a baddy. Pace Philip Green. However, if, like cuddly Ken Livingstone, you employ an accountant who happens to use a perfectly legal tax scheme and that just happens to have the unfortunate effect of you paying less tax to the government, then you are not a baddy – for you didn’t mean to pay less tax, it just sort of happened to you along the way – it all in the mens rea apparently. Hilarious stuff.
So Ed couldn’t go after ‘tax avoiders’ per se, but there is another group likely to get UKUncut hot under the collar without leaving Ken Livingstone at risk of collateral damage. Bankers, yeah! These Labour Youth members know a baddy when they see one. Hiss, Boo, Bankers.
Ed is going to tax bankers all over again. Not because they are tax avoiders, you understand, he doesn’t want that word mentioned in the current climate – but just because it sounds good. He even knows what he is going to do with the money…
He’s going to give it to the Yoof, people just like you audience! Yeah, sock it to us Ed! More money for young Labour youth, just what we wanted to hear!
When Ed is Prime Minister (yeah, like when!) his government is going to conjure 100,000 places in useful employment out of thin air. Employers up and down the country will be ordered to find something useful to do for 100,000 sullen, uneducated, brain dead individuals – but it won’t cost them a penny, no need to fire all those Poles and Latvians who are actually doing the work right now, nope, instead of all taxpayers giving them £45 odd quid a week for sitting at home watching their mates appear on Jeremy Kyle, assuming they get up early enough, anyone employed as a banker is going to fund them getting £80 quid a week for six months…
Genius isn’t it?
It could have frightened the daylights out of them, having to do a proper job for six months for a measly £35 quid a week extra, but Ed softened the blow. It wouldn’t be a proper, proper job, not like one of those things you have to get up every morning for, no, this would just be for 5 hours a day, still time to watch Jeremy Kyle, and a couple of hours ‘training’, learning to count up to ten, that sort of thing; best of all it would be run by the government…
Which makes it a:
Government employment programmes
You may not be entitled to the National Minimum Wage if you take part in a government employment programme which is meant to provide you with training or work experience, or to help you get or look for work. If you are going to take part in a scheme of this kind, check with the organisers to see whether you will be paid the National Minimum Wage.
Apprentice rate is £2.60 an hour….
There are jobs out there Ed – 100,000 Poles can’t be wrong. The problem is not creating jobs out of banker’s bonuses, the problem is creating employable young people prepared to trade the sofa for one of those jobs. Now, if you are prepared to take their benefits away from them for six months, which you say you are – do so. Problem solved – they’ll be out cutting cabbages in the wind swept fields of East Anglia before you know it, or not, the choice will be theirs. But they won’t be sitting at home on £45 a week paid for in part out of already taxed Banker’s bonuses.
Now about this deficit that you need to cut. Not that one, the £10,000,000 one the Labour Party has? Any progress on that?
Sound bite politics, doncha just love it?