There are three truths that are unlikely ever to be universally acknowledged about Scottish Politics:
Secondly, that if you are building anything larger than a 1:72 scale model of a patio, the worst people to engage as your project supervisors are a bunch of Scottish Parliamentarians:
They spent 431m on the new Holyrood building, after initially claiming that it would cost just 40m.
Edinburgh City Council will have to borrow £231m to pay for the capital’s controversial tram project.
A report just published by the local authority warns repayments will cost £15.4m a year over the next 30 years.
Added to the original £545m budget for the project, it will take the full cost of the through the £1bn barrier.
Total repayments over the life of the loan will come to £459m of which £228m is interest.
Thirdly, that – writing as someone born, bred, and living South of the Border – anything which has gone wrong North of that Border since about 726AD is completely my fault.
At some stage I will write about Mr Salmond as a serious politician, a character who bestrides British Politics like an extremely well-lunched Colossus, as we are constantly informed.
And I try hard. Really, I do.
But everytime I want to take Mr Salmond seriously, something happens.
Salmond throws his toys, or blames the media for something, or tries to reverse out of a position because reality refuses to be the stooge he hoped to make of it, or he climbs up on-his-dignity about a teensy-weensy lampoon, or comes up with another casual gibe against the eeevil English, which is unnecessary to his argument:
As Norway, Sweden and New Zealand demonstrate, many small nations are coping better with the financial crisis than many larger ones, such as the UK, Italy or Spain.
(That is from the Hugo Young lecture.)
Or, indeed, treats 400 year old history as a personal affront, as in ‘Haggisgate’ two years ago, when the Salmond response to the discovery of the existence of an ancient Haggis Recipe – an English Haggis recipe, mind – was to claim that it was a modern English ‘land-grab‘:
The First Minister spoke out following the discovery of an English haggis recipe from 1615.
He said: “I don’t mind the English claiming haggis as their own, as long as they leave us our country.
“But haggis is our institution and we will defend it to the last.
“This haggis grab is akin to a land grab and it’s a sign of its culinary success now as a swanky dish.”
That damned history thing; it would insist on being so anti-Scottish.
That was subsequently claimed to be a ‘joke’, but no one explained why the Culture Minister, Mike Russell, felt it necessary to intervene in a joke alongside his Boss.
Anyhow, given that he became so cross with Tom Harris, I thought I’d do my own version of Downfall remembering some Salmond Follies.
Yes, I know, but the old ones are still the best ones. Ask Baroness Trumpington.
And Mr Salmond provides so much material that we could make these almost weekly.
I’ll try and get onto serious politics next time, if Mr Salmond stops being so funny.
Note: This was queued before Anna’s stooshie with Subrosa. I’m laughing at Flippin’ ‘Eck, not promoting Scottish female pensioner mudwrestling, fascinating spectacle though that would be.
Anyway, the frozen North starts at Leeds.