Ms Raccoon regretsâ¦ – The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 7, 2012

That in an act of callous disregard for your moral and ethical well being â she has fled the Raccoon coop for an entire week. Thoughtless of me, I know, but too late to let the dogs out, the scent is long gone.

Since the early hours of this morning, Ms Raccoon has been poking her bony finger into Mr Gâs back and demanding to know whether âit is nearly time to go yetââ¦finally with an exasperated roar of âfor Godâs sake womanâ he agreed to rise and make the tea, put the rubbish out, make my breakfast, pack the van with three ton of medication, along with all his other morning duties, and drive me the 1000 odd kilometres â to Jersey! Naturally as soon as he was ready to leave, I fired up the computer and demanded silence whilst I penned this.

Jersey in January may seem an odd choice; I am actually looking forward to the grey skies, the 100 mile an hour winds, the long faces, the soggy fish and chips, and the mangled English as spoken by everyone doing a job which entails getting up in the morning and putting in a hard dayâs work. Iâve thrown my wellie boots in the back of the van, the only thick jumper I now possess (still t-shirt weather here!) and a woolie hat to cover my bald pateâ¦and weâve gone.

Please keep the bar clean, and be polite to any strangers. Back on the 16th. Be there.

{ 23 comments }

Clarissa January 9, 2012 at 21:00

Have a good holiday. You deserve it. x

Mjolinir January 9, 2012 at 13:44

@GTM â that reminded me of a (possibly apocryphal) press
apology-
\\
Last week we stated that Councillor Smith doesnât have the
brains of a vole.
We are happy to accept assurances that he does
\\

Pompey Cowboy January 8, 2012 at 19:31

Why not go a few miles further north and have a week in Pompey?
Errr I
guess I know why!
Have a nice break

GildasTheMonk January 8, 2012 at 12:35

And in other news David Cameron has apologised for comparing being heckled
by Ed Balls as like being heckled by someone with Turetteâs Syndrome. He is
right to do so. If I had Turetteâs I too would be apalled at being cmpared to
such a foul mouthed low grade thug.
F****!

Bryan Bestwick January 8, 2012 at 08:29

Weâre within spitting distance of St Malo or Granville â any chance of
bringing us back a few spuds? Youâd be very welcome to park your wheels afore
the long trek southwards â weâve got cashews and wine gums â just the things
youâll need to wean yourself back into normal life!

M Barnes January 7, 2012 at 17:47

What??? Were the hell am I going to find a blog that has posts on hegelian
principles at this short notice?
Oh well, just need to go and make myself a
proper vodka martini and figure out how to sneak the nuts out from under
SBMLâs nose.
Enjoy â youâll be missed.

SadButMadLad January 7, 2012 at 19:58

I can make you a Black Russian if like, my fave.

M Barnes January 7, 2012 at 22:42: Ah, you need to try Poets Dream or Inspiration. I do keep coming back
to the dry vodka martini but Iâm a classicist. hicâ¦.. wuzza nutzâ¦ aha,
gorrum. hic. I really love you man, I really do. Wuzza Raccoon?

ChÃ¢telaine January 7, 2012 at 14:17