Echoes of Amy Winehouse
This post is a first guest article from Ellee Seymour, who blogs at elleeseymour.com.
I’m playing Amy’s poignant Back to Black as I write this.
We have read so much about Amy Winehouse’s untimely death in the last week, there is very little to add. Death is always a sharp reminder of our own mortality, of leaving behind broken hearted loved ones to grieve who wish they could have done more.
Amy’s early death reminded me of my dear friend Sue who died from drink, as well as three other friends too, all decent people with personal torments who were were far too young to die. They didn’t cover their bodies with tattoos like Amy, they were all intelligent and amusing and I felt helpless as I watched their decline, their inability to fight their “demons”. In Amy’s case this was a toxic cocktail of fame, personal wealth to feed her habits, a broken heart we are told, feelings of worthlessness; all this on top of her addiction to drink and drugs.
Would Amy’s death had been so shocking had it been a male rock star? I don’t think so. It seems so much worse when it happens to a woman.
I wonder what difference there is between Amy’s death and that of Marilyn Monroe’s overdose, and soprano Maria Callas’s early death, which many have said was the result of unrequited love after Aristotle Onassis’ marriage to Jackie Kennedy.
These are very different women, all wonderfully talented in different ways, yet all emotionally fragile all with unhappy love lives and feelings of inadequacy, who all purportedly self-destructed to a greater or lesser degree, and sadly, all died too young.
August 5, 2011 at 22:04
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I don’t know how insufferable Amy may have been. Probably quite.
But she enriched my life at a distance, and I deeply regret her loss.
- August 5, 2011 at 21:06
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Hi Anna, thanks for the guest post, and thanks everyone for the comments.
Let’s hope that Amy’s home, if it really does become a rehab centre, can help
other poor tormented souls. It’s a truly devastating life being an addict for
all concerned, and especially for their families who watch helpless as their
loved ones destroy their lives.
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August 4, 2011 at 18:13
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“….any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind
etc.”
The sadness discussed here is indeed terrible but ultimately we are
all responsible for our actions, no matter what the circumstances. This is the
unpleasant truth, ignored for at least the last 30 years by the Entitlement
Society & the Nanny State. Moreover, tens of thousands of ‘untalented’
people continue to destroy themselves…few tears are shed for them of
course.
- August 4, 2011 at 18:09
- August 4, 2011 at 17:27
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Great to see you here Ellee, I don’t get round your part of the blogosphere
much now.
There are a few points to consider here I think, first; successful
entertainers live in a goldfish bowl, subject to pressures us proles cannot
understand, second; the environment is more amoral and there are far more
tempations; third, I think the vulnerable genius thing is exaggerated, there
are many major talents who live quiet ordinary lives (until they marry Heather
Mills) and finally, there are a lot of self destructive people we never hear
of, thinking about twenty and thity something contacts at my blog I’m tempted
to say low self esteem is the new black. That is a symptom of the world we
live in, the sleb culture and contant bombardment with adverts.
Having said all that, I was a great fan of Amy and her passing is all the
more tragic for the fact that’s it’s inevitability could be seen from a long
way off.
- August 4, 2011 at 12:48
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Some people just can’t help themselves, plus they don’t think they have a
problem. The one’s who realise they have to do something, can eventually
overcome whatever addiction they have.
PS, I know a lot of intelligent and amusing people who have Tattoo’s.
- August 4, 2011 at 18:09
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Saul. I, too, know intelligent and amusing people who have tattoos, but
few who display such crap designs, executed with as little skill, as those
sported by Amy. Is it only me who wonders who in God’s name did them?
- August 4, 2011 at 12:38
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August 4, 2011 at 12:33
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p.s.
Actually, I think Marilyn was murdered by the CIA.
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August 4, 2011 at 12:32
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I read your poignant piece about your late friend – very sad.
Drunks and druggies always get rejected, because they are ultimately
self-absorbed, undignified and boring. In today’s world being boring is a
deadly sin.
For me, I live and work in an environment very much dominated by alcohol,
and it’s safe to say that whilst I am on the wagon after my summer holiday
now, generally I probably drink too much – and for a time before I got
married, I drank far, far too much……..and engaged in anti-social conduct
(pushing a lot of friends away) and reckless behaviour (piss and 750 racing
bikes don’t mix).
The bottom line is that it is caused by unhappiness with past or present
circumstances (or both) and a fear of what lies in future. This is exacerbated
by getting older and one’s prospects seeming to get dimmer and dimmer with
each passing year.
Now, having posted on Anna’s ‘personal responsibility’ thread the other
day, I must be true to myself and my views here. We all have free choice as to
what we put into our bodies, we all have free choice as to how we conduct
ourselves and we all have free choice as to whether or not we listen to the
people who take trouble to impart advice.
Some of us are born with a self-destructive gene just as some of us are
born with short genes, cancer genes, baldy genes, ginger genes, etc. My father
once said that I was the happiest kid in the world – until I went to school,
but how can anyone blame school? No, nobody is to blame for my ‘boisterous’
conduct except myself – and it still surfaces today on occasion, and yes I’m
still responsible. I have failed to fulfill myself in a number of ways – but
it’s my responsibility.
All addicts and arseholes have choices. It’s just a question of being
clever enough, strong enough, brave enough and often lucky enough to to make
the right choices.
As for you yourself, I salute you for taking the time and trouble to try
and communicate with your friend. Truly a good friend, and if what you say is
correct then you have no cause to beat yourself up. It seems that short of
inviting the lady to live with you and locking her in a room for 6 months
there was nothing else you could’ve done.
The freedom to choose also includes the freedom to self-destruct and the
freedom to ultimately let go.
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