Last December there was a small piece that popped up in my RSS box, not really substantial enough to make a blog post, but intriguing all the same. An on-line Divorce company â I had no idea such a thing existed â was offering a âfree divorceâ as the prize in a competition to celebrate January as the âpeak month for divorcesâ.
Divorce Online âallowsâ â their words â couples to conduct their own divorce proceedings âwithout having to fork out for a solicitorâ.
âIn our competition, all we ask is that entrants must have agreed an amicable divorce and have agreed their financial and childrenâs arrangements. The couple who show they have approached their divorce in the most sensible and amicable way will win.â
Hmmn, I rather thought it was the law which âallowedâ us to conduct our own divorce proceedings, and whilst you donât have to âfork outâ for a solicitor, you do have to âfork outâ Â£740 to Divorce Online! You can of course go directly HERE and file your own petition for divorce directly to the courts for considerably lessâ¦.
Anyway, back to our competition; I made a note in my diary to follow up and see who had won this miserable Christmas present.
No sign of any winners mentioned on the Internet, so I phoned the company.
âWho won?â I said. âAh, we cancelled the competitionâ was the response. âOn the grounds of poor taste?â I sarcastically suggested. âNot at all, lack of interest actually, we only had three entriesâ she shot back.
By now thoroughly hooked, I got to speak to one of the Directors of the company, Mark Keenan, and a riveting tale unfolded. It was certainly riveting to me, for I had already shown that Labour was quite literally driving us mad, now it seemed that they were wrecking marriages.
In January to March of last year, the dying days of Labourâs stressful reign over us, Divorce Online had enjoyed a spectacular 40% rise in sales â then came the election and the emollient effect of the Con-Dem government resulted in an almost immediate 10% drop in the number of couples who decided that they couldnât stand the sight of each other!
Unfortunately, the Office of National Statistics havenât yet published any more up to date figures than 2008 on Divorce in the UK, so I am not in a position to challenge Mark Keenanâs assertion that this is because Divorce is in a bracket broadly described as a luxury good, and thus susceptible to the pressures of the economic situation.
I find it hard to believe that those who want a divorce will gaze lovingly at each other over a Valentineâs Dinner tonight merely because the price of petrol has gone up, it would seem more likely that life in general has become, if not utopian, at least more bearable than it was under Labour. I must remember to check if the number of us going mad has dropped as well!
As you gaze into the âlimpid poolsâ of your loved ones eyes tonight, remember to raise a half hearted glass to the emollient Con-Dem government â you might not be so enamoured if Labour had still been in power.
Is it really lack of money that keeps you together? How unromantic!