Itâs the commentators that make this blog â erudite, witty, emotive, angry, endlessly fascinating, they come in all shapes and sizes, and are the whole reason this blog exists â here are my favourites from this week.
JuliaM on Andy Gray â Richard Keys.
âThe remarks were directed at her not because she was a bad linesman, but because she was a woman, and thatâs just stupid. â
You should hear the comments in my office when one of the men (unwisely) states that he plans to do some cooking or washing.
âOh, do you know where the oven is?â
âRemember not to put the socks in with the whites..â
Is that actionable?
Snowwolf on Andy Gray â Richard Keys.
If there is an official stood behind the last pundit when the remark is made, then it isnât offensive, even if the other pundit is behind the official when they respond to said remark.
Of course they changed the rules about fifteen years ago, it used to be offensive if the last pundit was stood alongside the official, but now if one is level with the official, then it isnât offensive.
It is all very confusing, especially when one factors in the consideration of passive offensiveness. When the pundit is behind the official when the remark is made, is he interfering with the broadcast or the career of the official? If not, even though he is behind the official at the time the remark is made, it is ruled inoffensive and the banter continues.
But of course, if the pundit isnât interfering with the broadcast, then what is he doing on the bloody telly?
Livewire on The Porn Again Expert.
Can you see the little piggies with their bloated claims?
When wrong is right in piggy world, the porkers canât be blamed.
The broadcasts claim itâs for the best, for piggies make the laws.
A fairer world expressed in âoinksâ and dubbed with canned applause.
Pay your tax they need the swill, their curly tails will wag.
And when youâre left with one last crust theyâll add that to their blag.
Robbiethered on Step Forward Please.
In my case, the eleventh commandment, dictated by the wife and seconded by the cat-
âThou Shalt Not Blog.â
âMainly Because We Demand Thy Fulle Attentions in Order of The Pact Thou Haste, but Secondly Because We Demand To Control Thee In such Ways In Private! We Reserveth the Rights to Licketh Thy Heade, Snuggle Up To Thee In The Darke Hours of The Nighte, And In Generalle, Commande Thye Love and Affectione!â
Radders on Death
Since our bodies are 80% water, cremation rather neatly converts most of us to vapour, which is then breathed and absorbed by those living along the smoke-plume path. Other vapour falls to the ground and makes its way to the watercourse, other may fall on your salad crops and be eaten for tea, so youâre shared around quite widely, really. Together with water vapour, the finest ash also goes up the chimney to fall out similarly; those living down-wind of crematoria sometimes find their cars coated with a fine, thin film of dead people. Iâm all in favour of this â it all seems quite wholesome and organic to me. And since I shall be breathed / eaten / absorbed by those vegetarians and vegans who irritate me so much in life, I am definitely going for cremation, in the most inefficient facility available.