Roll up, roll up, roll up from the bottom.
Whilst you were asleep, Nanny’s found a nice new cavity for her to insert herself into.
“More modern interventions are selected from a palette of evidence-informed options to suit the needs of the local population. Such options should ensure a multilevel approach”.
Would you like me to translate that for you?
Hmmn, Nanny wants Government issue toothpaste for everyone……no really, I’m not joking….
“In the past much energy was directed towards educating children at school about the importance of keeping teeth healthy […] but it is the parents who have influence over food and diet choices, purchasing and use of toothpaste”.
And we all know that parents are adults who can’t possibly be trusted to look after the cheeeldren don’t we?
So what is the answer?
Take any element of choice away from the parents, and let the government professionals dictate which toothpaste you use……
“Families should receive free toothpaste and toothbrushes”.
Their recommendations draw on the success of the Manchester Smiles dental health campaign, which began last year 200,000 families in Manchester have received free toothpaste and toothbrushes since 1999 – now they want it to be national!
Yes, not just bath plugs that the tax payer pays for – but toothpaste and toothbrushes for Mancunians – is there no end to our generosity?
This is not all either – apparently 15% of privileged children have their teeth painted twice a year with ‘fluoride varnish’ – naturally this should be extended to all children.
“Cum ‘ere yer little varmint and let us varnish yer teeth for yer” Should go down well.
Nanny’s not finished yet.
She wants ‘an end to the practice of sharing birthday cakes at school’.
‘Giss us a bit o’ yer cake then’
‘Nah, yer didn’t varnish yer teeth’
‘Giss us a bit or I’ll knock yer teeth out’
‘Nanny says I can’t’
End of problem.
‘Ere Miss, can I get some of that Smoker’s toothpaste?
‘Miss, Miss…….talk to us Miss’.