I received a donation of a dog a few weeks ago. I am the mad English woman in my local neighbourhood where my door mat is the unofficial repository of pets the local Arabian populus are no longer amused by. These animals end up on my doorstep. With the arrival of ‘Victor’ I am now forced to pound the streets of this rapidly growing glass and concrete Metropolis several times a day to exercise him. I am sure this has affected my brain – it’s hellishly hot out there – 47-52c degrees on average even at night.
Get on woman, I hear you say, what’s the point of this drivel? I had arrived back from a damn hot walk, trying to cool my poached brain when the end of a SKY news report caught my attention. Did I hear right – that there may be proposals to reduce the length of time to acquire a degree from 3 to 2 years to save money even though British universities are huge money making institutions????
Ah, that Darn Deficit, but wait! If the Government wants to save money on education they can look to the Middle East for some ideas – there are lots of interesting scenarios which can be drawn upon.
Money saving tip 1 – Keep the curriculum the same for 30 odd years and only recruit teachers from countries where the system has already failed and pay them a pittance. I think this recruitment model might already have been taken up by the NHS for nurses so there could be opportunities for knowledge sharing and thus more opportunities for saving money on training.
Money saving tip 2 – Do away with the need to attend university and offer alternatives such as purchasing a degree from such bastions of academia as the University of Doris’ Picket Fence, Sleepy Hollow, Grand Cayman, the challenge here is that some of these institutions just don’t sound pukka and may not pass scrutiny.
Money saving tip 3 – Make registration for university mandatory but attendance not. A select national group comprising of 1 attendee per university will be established to turn up occasionally for lectures and sit exams on behalf of students. In this way, the entire number of home students and those who do not pay a huge international fee to attend only pay the registration fee and all investment and costs are passed on to international students. University education can be privatised and geared to be incorporated with medical tourism into a tripartite education-medical-tourism industry which milks income from foreigners.
Money saving tip 4 – Start earlier, pay teachers to complete GCSE and A-levels examinations on behalf of pupils for the promise of continuous employment and an end of year bonus of a gift voucher for Tesco or M&S. Attendance at state school is based on key dates from Reception to Y12 relevant – for example in Reception and Y1-3 pupils attend school in December so that they are able to perform in the Christmas Nativity – non-Christian pupils spend time in the classroom writing about their own significant religious celebrations. Key dates would be around celebrations such as Red Nose Day, May Pole Day and last day of term. Significant reductions in costs can be seen from this approach.
Of course there are a few downsides such any expectation of building a knowledge-based or prosperous economy for the future, but this could be resolved by hiring huge numbers of migrant workers to different sectors and is a different discussion.
Globalisation means we can all share best practises from around the world, n’est pas? It’s all to do with new paradigms.