Especially in the Electoral Commission.

They mosey along from week to week, answering the odd phone call, overseeing an occasional by-election.

Then every five years they have an intense burst of energy, burn the midnight oil, work round the clock, attend to the most interesting thing to happen in their department since – well since the last election, five years ago.

So what do they do in the last six days before the election? Must be frantic right?

I don’t know, probably go and sit on Brighton beach, creosote the fence, take the horse for a walk, work out the pension rights yet again, celebrate Roodmass.

The one thing they don’t do on International Workers Day is go to work……

Nor on the two days before that – because the banks are closed apparently.

So in the last six days before an election, they only work for three of them.

Give me strength! What do they need the banks for – to bank the bribes?

If you are short of reading material – I do recommend this. I stumbled across it today. Excellent stuff.

1
Indianhat May 3, 2010 at 16:51

Definitely excellent reading Anna, thanks!

2
Joe Public May 3, 2010 at 17:12

But they also have to take a decision as to whether they consider TwitterTwat McCarthy might have broken the law, & pass the complaint on to the local constabulary.

3
Alan May 3, 2010 at 19:29

Joe,

I don’t think you get law and order in The United Kingdom in the year 2010AD.

If a tree falls in a forest when there is no-one around to hear it, does it make a noise?

If the Electoral Commission are not answering their phone when you want to report electoral irregularities, did an offence occur?

No report = No crime.

From the lazy civil servant pdf: “Statistics show that up to half of all colleagues are below-average performers. It has even been shown that 20% are in the in the worst performance quintile.”

4
Mike Spilligan May 3, 2010 at 20:57

Living in the East Midlands, I was drawn into a “pilot study” on postal voting a few years ago. I studied the proposals with diligence and reported 4 or 5 misgivings, or potential areas of fraud, to the Electoral Commission, the proposals assuming that everyone is law-abiding and lives in leafy suburbs with friendly neighbours – as all civil servants do, naturally. I was thanked and was told that I would get a copy of the final report.
When the report came it was the one for part of Yorkshire, a parallel “pilot”. Then I got a letter saying that the EC was sorry for that and they would send me the correct one later. Then I received the East Midlands report, which seemed more comprehensive than the Yorkshire one. Then I got a letter from the EC saying that they were sorry and they’d accidentally sent me a copy including papers which were for internal use only, soon after which I got a further copy without the “official” papers and a letter apologising again for the mistake and the delay.
So, you see, they’ve got plenty to do in between times.
And were any of my concerns answered? – not likely.

5
Electoral Commission Wonk May 3, 2010 at 23:05

I. Am. Smoking. A. Faaag!