We’ve all been told it’s very rude
If we neglect to chew our food
But what is stocked in one big shop
Has caused my lower jaw to drop
So you can see stuck in my craw
What’s hard to swallow from that store.
For so it seems that Asda buyers
Are soundly failing to supply us
With home-grown beef or British lamb
And Sainsbury’s don’t give a damn
If they ship beef from foreign shores
To clog the chillers of their stores;
And Tesco too prefers to stock
Lamb bought from a foreign flock!
At Asda 58 percent
Of money paid for meat is spent
On cuts shipped in from overseas –
Explain to me the logic, please,
Of Asda filling up its shelves
With meat we haven’t grown ourselves
And seeming not to give a damn
About supplying British lamb
From British farms for Brits to eat
From plates heaped up with British meat.
The Co-operative will only source
Its meat from British farms of course
While M & S and Waitrose too
Sell only British meat to you.*
And likewise Morrison’s piles high
Its shelves with British meat to buy;
Yet why should any of us care?
We’ll buy our meat from anywhere:
We don’t insist on British Aisles,
We don’t mind that our food’s come miles
Across the globe to fill our gobs –
We’re anything but ‘foody snobs’!
And why insist on British meat
For all the evening meals we eat
When we can pick from foreign piles?
Why should we buy from Farmer Giles?
We don’t need farmers anyway,
Growing wheat and making hay,
Rearing beef and sheep and hog –
Let’s shoot the farmer and his dog!
Let’s shoot his wife and children too,
Let’s flush our farming down the loo!
And down the pan Old Giles will go
And we won’t notice, dear me no,
Cause we don’t eat his stuff at all –
It isn’t stocked in our Food Hall!
If you want local meat perchance
You may as well just drive to France
For there I think you’ll only find
Gallic pork with Gallic rind,
Gallic beef and Gallic ewe
Anywhere on sale to you.
So back to Tesco’s, off we go
(Every little helps, you know)
And back to Asda where the price
Is low (though “Buy cheap and buy twice”)
And back to Sainsbury’s, we’ll BOGOF
Quite happy that the grub we’ll scoff
Was all grown ‘there’ and not grown here!
For cut-price food, let’s raise a cheer
And tuck in to our Danish pork
And lift Thai chicken on our fork
And fry Dutch bacon in the pan
And laugh that it’s all cheaper than
The British stuff cause we don’t try it:
Domestic Market? We just don’t buy it!
* in October 2009