90th minute plus …BBC has exposed the long accepted bromide that defence wins championships. With Scotland’s defence hobbled by a long play from Clifford, the Attorney-General weathered Tonga’s early onslaught and fought back with style. Dominant midfielder play led by Brown and Mandelson.

90th minute plus … Clifford for Tonga.

87th minute … Brown’s ball sails over goal.

85th minute … Husband takes a cheque pass from Mail on Sunday.

84th minute … Tonga in complete and utter control. Labour players walking, stunned.

75th minute … Last gasp for Labour. Probably too little, too late.

70th minute … Absolutely spellbinding. UKBA fouls at the front door, exposing an out of date passport. and the Tongans flash a goal on an unlikely tale from Scotland. Tonga 2-0.

67th minute … Brown replaces a frustrated Hesford.

60th minute … Nothing but frustration for Labour. Scotland offside, errant passes, nothing clicking. But still a long way to go.

52nd minute … Scotland fouled at top of Clifford penalty area. £5,000 fine from referee but shot slams off the near post.

49th minute … Scotland pouring forward, with control and confidence. But without scoring so far, which could be deadly.

47th minute … Tonga springs Max down the left, one on one with Mail on Sunday. Fakes the pass (port) off his feet, but shot is saved by ……

Halftime … The type of match where you look up at the running clock and are amazed that 40-45 have passed.

If you’re Gordon Brown, who comes off and who goes on for the second half? If you’re Max Clifford, do you make any changes? Sheer entertainment, regardless of which team you’re supporting. If you’re reading this the real question is: Why aren’t you watching the match?

Its in the Mail on Sunday….in just 45 minutes.

45th minute…Tonga takes a dive, heads an out of date passport over the goal, Scotland didn’t see it, cunning, its a low tackle, and Scotland appeals to the referee……