Tonga Wonga
We are such generous creatures, we tax-payers.
Struggling with our mountain of debt, staring bankruptcy in the face, we dug deep into our pockets and stumped up £60,000 to send five MPs and two Peers on an essential fact finding mission to that well known hunting ground for excellent parliamentarian housekeepers, Tonga, in the South Seas.
The five MPs, Andrew Rosindell (Romford) Meg Munn (Sheffield Heeley), Jim Sheridan (Paisley and Renfrewshire North), Betty Williams (Conwy), Neil Turner (Wigan) and Colin Challen, (Morley and Rothwell) all from the inclement north of our merry Isle, were accompanied by two Peers, the Lords Roper of Thorney Island and Lea of Crondall just in case documents needed careful checking, and two members of the Commonwealth Parliamentary Association – perchance something should need photocopying.
Whilst there, they professed an interest in the climate, as well they might, coming from the likes of Wigan and Conwy.
On their first night, the troughing restaurant bill was in excess of £1,000 pounds, paid for by the Tongan people. The average wage in Tonga is £1,490 per annum.
The trip will be featured in Dispatches: MPs, Planes and Gravy Trains on Channel 4 on Monday 28 at 8pm.
No Tongan housekeepers were harmed in the making of this documentary.
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September 28, 2009 at 22:08 -
Boy-oh-boy! Just watched the Dispatches programme on Channel 4 and the sun-lotion may be hitting the fan any minute now. It certainly should be. As it said in the programme, it’s the expenses scandal all over again. It would be shocking if it wasn’t so unsurprising.
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September 25, 2009 at 22:41 -
Adam! I was toying with putting Staines instead but for the sake of ‘poetry’ dontcha know ….
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September 25, 2009 at 22:22 -
I think you are all being very unfair. I’m sure they were working very hard in Tonga. We should applaud them for their sense of public duty and their selflessness.
And Gloria, Catford is definitely not nicer than Thetford. Apart from the cat over the shopping centre doors.
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September 25, 2009 at 21:47 -
Romford and Catford and Deptford
Are all further south than, say, Retford;
Yet from Worthing they’re north
And far east of Cawl-Porth…
And all of them nicer than Thetford….. allegedly -
September 25, 2009 at 20:58 -
“….all from the inclement north of our merry Isle,…”
Romford. North?
It might be north o’ the river, but it aint north of our Isle (unless you’re referring to the Isle of Sheppey. [Ant that aint ‘merry’]
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September 25, 2009 at 19:09 -
Well rapped, that Smudd. I concede defeat. I like the cut of your jib.
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September 25, 2009 at 19:15
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September 25, 2009 at 19:02 -
Do I detect a Labour majority in this grouping? Don’t recognise any of them as Conservatives.
And any Pie Muncher should be shot on sight, MP or not. As Paddy McGuinness famously quothed “I ain’t ‘avin’ anything from Wigin in my mouth!”.
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September 25, 2009 at 19:01 -
The MPs were nothing but cadgers
Despite wearing “Fact-Finder” badges;
They said “What can you do?
We’re the So-Sullied Crew –
So lump it, you Smudd and you Nadgers!” -
September 25, 2009 at 18:45 -
Five MPs where lingering longer,
and doing the conga round Tonga.
They said, “Gloria Smudd,
this is cooling our blood.
If you doubt it you couldn’t be wronger!” -
September 25, 2009 at 18:44 -
No its not. Its North East London in Havering(?)!
It used to be part of Essex before London started taking over the UK!
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September 25, 2009 at 18:42 -
Yep!
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September 25, 2009 at 18:22 -
Sheesh, Gloria. Did you have to?
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September 25, 2009 at 16:58 -
I hope the fact-finders didn’t have to cut their trip short for any reason; after all, it’s nice to linger longer in Tonga.
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September 25, 2009 at 16:58 -
Romford is in Essex innit? Does that count as the north? Admittedly it’s not sarf of the river.
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September 25, 2009 at 16:15 -
Didn’t Tongan Royalty breed with their relations? Same old same old.
But I will not hear a word against Our Queen. Dear of Her.
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September 25, 2009 at 14:35 -
The word “conscience” just doesn’t exist in these people’s psyche’s does it? They simply have no souls….
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September 25, 2009 at 14:17 -
I have to say that the lady featured in your picture has a fine pair of buttocks.
I could drool over them forever
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September 25, 2009 at 14:09 -
I have a link you might be interested in!
http://intensiveactivity.wordpress.com/2009/09/25/scottish-msp-expenses-93-of-their-salaries/
MSP politicians claim so much expenses (on average) each year the expenses almost match that of the salaries (including general staff). 93% to be exact. For some reason they didn’t release the latest year claiming an exemption.
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September 25, 2009 at 14:07 -
Queen Salote of Tonga was the big hit of the Coronation of 1953, almost eclipsing Her Majesty, and certainly the rest of the procession. Perhaps it was really a secret mission on behalf of the Royal Institute of British Architects to seek an alternative to HRH Prince Charles.
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September 25, 2009 at 13:50 -
Someone’s head will roll for this. Maybe even more than one. And I am not including Gordon, he lost his head a long time ago. Now he is just reenacting Custer’s Last Stand.
Did I read somewhere that Baroness Scotland is The Attorney General? If so, then God love us all.
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September 25, 2009 at 13:19 -
LOL.
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