Poor little Albion, the once mighty nation threatened by a chipmunk………
We should be indebted to the Daily Mail for alerting us to this danger; the nation is to be overrun, not by immigrants, not by swine flu, not by overwhleming debt, not by the hysterical laughter of our European neighbours, but by chipmunks!
They have already reached Paris! Zut Alors! Practically on our doorstep!
Some of them carry a fatal disease! Well, it can be fatal if not treated early enough.
They might sneak aboard a cross channel ferry…they might bite an assylum seeker who has already sneaked aboard a cross chanel ferry! If they do, and they turn out to be one of the ones that does carry this fatal disease, the assylum seeker might not get treated soon enough, (why not, if he’s not a British citizen, he won’t have to wait months willl he?)
Those that don’t, OK, the many that don’t, will just be little chipmunks that don’t carry a fatal disease – until they reach our shores…….where they will soon enough be infected by Lyme’s disease, which is endemic in the mice, voles, squirrels, blackbirds, pheasants, and seagull population of Great Britain.
The Daily Mail says the ’situation is critical’, heavens!, the ‘coastline is only 22 miles away at the nearest point’…….er, yes, it always has been, and Paris is still another 125 miles away.
Just as well Chipmunks can’t fly, that (non) story might have made the front page.