The Government doesn’t know what ‘broke’ means.
In the wake of the Chancellor’s Budget, Directgov has today launched Moneyspeak, a new, free simple tool.
Moneyspeak is an interactive tool that puts those confusing and alarming economic terms we hear every day into context.
I thought I’d give it a try with one of those confusing and alarming economic terms – like ‘broke’.
You can see how helpful it was!
This web site cost us good money – which bit of ‘broke’ don’t they understand?
Hat tip to Dizzy for the original link.
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1
04.23.09 at 6:29 pm -
I wonder what happens if you type in Vincent Cable’s description of the Budget figures: “utter fantasy”?
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2
04.23.09 at 6:46 pm -
How about British banks’ tax avoidance? Computer says No?
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3
04.23.09 at 6:51 pm -
Doesn’t recognise….”not a pot to piss in” …. either
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4
04.23.09 at 8:17 pm -
What about ex-Prime Minister’s earnings and tax bracket?
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5
04.23.09 at 8:32 pm -
Oops! Silly ol’ me! I’d be stunned if the new system could ‘compute’ that search: if I was on my accountancy toes, I’d have let myself ‘be advised’ that my financial dealings were best secreted away in something like, maybe, a ‘blind trust’, set up under the clause of ‘In Case of Nearly Getting Caught with up to 5 Salaries, All of Undisclosed Enormity p/a’ (see Clever Accountancy). Total financial opacity and all the sharp-end stuff handled by the canniest accountancy boffs known to man!
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6
04.23.09 at 9:04 pm -
How about ‘you robbing bastards’?
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7
04.23.09 at 9:29 pm -
Utterly skint?
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8
04.24.09 at 12:34 am -
found this by mistake – it’s easy to see whether you are in the shitake or not
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9
04.24.09 at 9:22 am -
What a waste of time…how many people are seriously going to use it…thickos don’t care what the words mean and intelligent people already know what the words mean.
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10
04.24.09 at 6:56 pm -
in my experience, computers, like politicians, only understand one thing:
being thrown out…of offices…preferably high ones…located at the top of very high buildings
this phenomena has given rise to two interesting branches of academic enquiry – as a result of which our greatest minds have been inspired to produce of some brilliant empirical theory and reach astounding philosophical conclusions:
1. according to adinufros ’s first law of aggravation (normally expressed in the formula e = hc2: where e represents the degree of enlightenment, h the height of fall, and c the density of the cunt chucked out the window), the level of understanding achieved by politicians and computers increases exponentially in relation to the altitude from which they are dropped.
2. archaeologists and philosophers have at last solved the age-old mystery surrounding the origins of man’s primal urge to construct the tallest structures possible.
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11
04.24.09 at 10:43 pm -
‘being thrown out…of offices…preferably high ones…located at the top of very high buildings’
i have taken a hammer to a computer, i think it understood that very well.
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12
04.25.09 at 12:49 am -
‘What does all this Budeget talk really mean?’ ……………
What it really means is that there are no words in the dictionary to describe the clandestine way that the Government is helping to cream off all the World’s cash. All they are doing is using ordinary and everyday words and putting two or three together to mean something
completely different from their original meanings.Microsoft did it with the ‘Start’ button ……….. We now know this really means ‘Stop’. ‘Quantitative easing’ will go down in the anal annals of Whitehall as being one of the quirkiest and most juvenile piss-taking expressions of all time
Everything that comes out of Gordon Browneye’s Government is either juvenile or a complete crock of crap. Not even completely Socialist juvenile dreamland crap either – because they don’t even remember what Socialism was all about.
What has happened to your prison-building programme again Mr. Browneye? Jack Straw was thinking of having his own penthouse suite in every single one of them ………… So miffed is he about not having all the extra perks and allowances that he has become accustomed to.
Get all the current prisoners and ex-bankers to help build the new prisons! Take a leaf out of the Japanese War Handbook!
We are going to need a lot of prisons Browneye ……………. just to put all the naughty police officers in! ………… Great to read about the idiot police officer who told Facebook that he couldn’t wait to kick hippies heads in at the G20!
Hang the bastard! By his bollocks! Until he bleeds to death. And if any of his coppery mates come out in support of him to say it was just a giggle or it’s totally out of character ………… hang them as well.
The Government, the Courts, royalty and the constabulary want a complete revamp from the grass roots to the top of the canopy.
This country is a septic sore that oozes with pus. The scabs will only stem the flow of pus for a short while longer. Thanks to the British unintelligent intelligence officers who have recently been arresting terrorists again without good reason …………. I think we can safely say that this is the end of civilisation as we know it.
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