Would you buy a used car from this man?
You may have to soon!
The government is considering giving credits of 2,000 pounds to new-car buyers who turn in their old cars, The Times reported on Saturday.
Business minister Peter Mandelson is looking closely at the plan, called scrappage, and it could be announced in April’s budget, The Times said on its website.
Citing senior government sources, it said talks were at an “advanced stage.”
And when Mandelson finds himself the proud proprietor of ‘Mandy’s Dodgy Bangers?
Who on earth would buy one from him?
You couldn’t make it up!
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1
March 14, 2009 at 17:37 -
And IF Mandelson finds himself the proud proprietor of ‘Mandy’s Dodgy Bangers’, neither he nor we will know about it because all his financial affairs are now held in a blind trust. Of course they are.
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2
March 14, 2009 at 17:43 -
They are already doing this in Germany. It is based on getting older cars with higher emissions off the road. They have been doing it in Norway for years.
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3
March 14, 2009 at 17:46
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4
March 14, 2009 at 17:44 -
5
March 14, 2009 at 17:53 -
Ok, so banger-driver gets £2,000 towards getting a newer car. Will banger-driver need to take out a loan to raise the rest of the cost of a newer, lower-emissions car? Is this £2,000-per-banger-driver to be handed out in nice, newly printed quantatively eased notes?
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6
March 14, 2009 at 17:55 -
Why isn’t he propping up the pub trade? Is it because pubs are used as meeting houses? Close all pubs down to give the public lesser opportunities to gather?
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7
March 14, 2009 at 17:59 -
Scrappage?
I thought Mandy was more of a frottage man myself…
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8
March 14, 2009 at 18:10
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9
March 14, 2009 at 18:04 -
That’s right Gloria ……………. Keep money circulating! Especally the dirty money. The more new money the Government pump in ………… the more chance of diluting it into nothingness. We have now got utter dilution as opposed to the general liquidation!
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10
March 14, 2009 at 18:12 -
What next? Government-issue furry dice? String-backed driving gloves for those of us old enough to remember Harry Worth? Crocheted cushions for our parcel shelves? A nodding Mandelson GPS on every dashboard? Grrrrr.
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11
March 14, 2009 at 18:16 -
I realise Mandelson is an easy target, made more so by his own efforts.
However the main point here is that the big winners would be the foreign car manufacturers. In these times of protectionism across Europe, I hardly think it is time for the British taxpayer to subsidise companies outside the UK.
I understand a lot of British workers are employed by them, but then again a lot are employed by other manufacturing companies as well.
Even the Treasury are not too sure about this scheme.
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12
March 14, 2009 at 18:23 -
Free insurance, tax and petrol? On account of the fact that we will be penniless. So that we can all drive around looking for jobs that don’t exist?
It’s a major step-up from Tebbit’s ‘Get on your bike.’ Very grand idea.
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13
March 14, 2009 at 18:24 -
You could even call it money laundering.
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14
March 14, 2009 at 18:28 -
Is Mandy just wandering around making stuff up as he goes along?
I don’t trust him ………….. I think he is a fool. And a fool is soon parted from ………….
It is in the public interest to know what he is doing with their cash ………… and the money of future generations. Many future generations.
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15
March 14, 2009 at 18:33 -
That’s it Saul! Sticking all this freah money in with the murky stuff that was floating about before.
How many bankers are dreading the forensic accountants going through their books?
I bet a lot of people are ridding themselves of their ill-gotten assets as we speak. Before the tax-man finds them and confiscates them. Houses, cars, more houses, more cars ………….. shares. stock and some errrrr……………… bits of paper with something on it that says it is worth a lot ………….. But it’s not really. They will be hedging about all over the place.
I suppose the decent ones will hang themselves.
Not many hangings then.
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16
March 14, 2009 at 18:47 -
Much hedging done by privet council.
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17
March 14, 2009 at 18:52 -
He is a thieving, lying, unelected prick.
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18
March 14, 2009 at 19:13
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19
March 14, 2009 at 21:29 -
Plan:
1. Buy piece of old tat from Dirty Ron for £500
2. Buy new little car and claim £2000
3. Sell new car for £1000 off the asking price
4. Profit.
5. Rinse and repeat. -
20
March 14, 2009 at 22:21 -
Wonder of there will be a clause …………….. that says you cannot sell the cr for at least three years?
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21
March 14, 2009 at 22:36 -
Remind me again how Mandelson comes to be back for a third time in Nu-Leiber Government, now as Business Minister with his assets held in a blind trust?
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22
March 14, 2009 at 22:58 -
Pssst! It goes way, way back a long time ago ………….. when politicians used to get up to all kinds of things that were never revealed to the public.
A lot of favours are still owed to the few by the many …………. That’s why Glo.
Just watch what happens to all the bankers as the horrors of their systems are exposed. Nothing that’s what! Nothing at all …….. Going off the past few weeks lip-service.
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23
March 14, 2009 at 23:12 -
I find my political memory isn’t always quite as honed as it should be but I’ve just sharpened my vague recollections with a quick visit to Wikidpeteria and now everything’s back in crisp focus, Coco. You’re quite correct – suddenly … nothing happened.
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24
March 14, 2009 at 23:27 -
Won’t be long now before we are trying to part the fog and smoke that surrounds Tony Bliar. We will be having to shift more trickily angled mirrors than any that were ever placed around any PM since Churchill.
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25
March 14, 2009 at 23:32 -
Haven’t we already had more than 7 years’ bad luck?
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26
March 14, 2009 at 23:39 -
Cigar smoke and Daily Mirrors.
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27
March 14, 2009 at 23:59 -
About 17 years Gloria ……………. Who would have thought it? I missed the bit where Gordie was allowed to slide into Tony’s office without riots in the streets.
What were we all preoccupied with at the time? Oh yes! The weekly disasters ………… that Gordie milked to death.
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28
March 15, 2009 at 00:04 -
We have to stop Mandy trying to look more and more like David Owen every day …………… He sometimes looks just a bit too credible.
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29
March 15, 2009 at 00:05 -
Look on the bright side, though; all these lovely slightly newer cars might all be designed to run on green slime.
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30
March 15, 2009 at 00:07 -
Eco plasm
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31
March 15, 2009 at 00:12 -
Real ether Saul?
Ace! -
32
March 15, 2009 at 00:13 - The perfect reply!
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33
March 15, 2009 at 00:16 -
Eco plasm! I bet Ms Deen wishes she’d said that! The sublime spectral supportable energy supply is right there at the heart of our government! Keep Mr/Lord M in power as an energy source which just keeps on going. Saul, you are a genieous.
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34
March 15, 2009 at 00:18 -
‘Ere Guys! This eco plasm …………. is it created by ruminating Mandibles?
How many miles to a cupful?
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35
March 15, 2009 at 00:21 -
The power of Eco plasm isn’t measured in miles – it’s measured by it’s ability to bounce back to a position of supreme power time and time again.
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36
March 15, 2009 at 00:22 -
Damn! An errant grocer’s apostrophe posted by my hand. Oh, the shame.
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37
March 15, 2009 at 00:29 -
A green grocer? There should be a Bana on it. You wouldn’t like it if you made him angry.
I will refrain from mentioning green unge tanks.
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38
March 15, 2009 at 00:39 -
Glo! It just prove’s yew are human like the rest of us. It happen’s all the thyme with sum of uz.
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39
March 15, 2009 at 00:44 -
How much would you pay a sign-writer who has spaced out the word ‘Occassions’ and done three coats of glossy paint over 20 feet taking nearly two weeks to do it before a passerby pointed out there were too many S’s init?
I’m glad I’m not a stone mason working on gravestones!
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40
March 15, 2009 at 00:45 -
I know. I know. I know. I’m prepared to be blasted. I’m usually so careful – I hate the grocer’s Black Spot of ‘marker-madness’ and I’m mortified. When a certain member of the armed apostrophe police spies it I’ll be mortarfied. Lumme. Gulp. Can’t you just nip round in the presidential Citroen and I’ll pop on a few sparklers, quaff a few flutes of something agreeably pink while you race up and down the French Riviera a few times in mock pursuit of Grace Kelly and Cary Grant; to catch a thief … just once, before my execution for inexcusable punctuation ………….
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41
March 15, 2009 at 00:52 -
Thank’s Coco I new yewd und’stand anniym reel soz 4 mi mistak’e. hoapfully jane’s’ll 4give mi ivenchully.
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42
March 15, 2009 at 00:54 -
A Pink Panther?
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43
March 15, 2009 at 00:55 -
I really like a bit of bad punctuation ………….. But I much prefer bad grammar! That’s why I use lots of full-stops all the time. ……………….. And start sentences with And ………….
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44
March 15, 2009 at 00:58 -
Janes understands us Glo ……………… She knows what we mean.
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45
March 15, 2009 at 01:03 -
Starting a sentence with And. Now there’s a blast from the past Coco chuck.
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46
March 15, 2009 at 01:09 -
A Pink Panzer, more like.
Anyway, thou has comforted me marvellous much. I ain’t afeared no more. Well, I am a bit. But what the heck.
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47
March 15, 2009 at 01:24 -
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48
March 15, 2009 at 01:34 -
Yet another meddling, interfering level of government costing us the taxpayer more money.
The biggest buyer of cars by far is the company car sector. The best way to increase the flow of cars to the bottom of the food chain is to increase purchases at the top.
Scrap the punitive company car taxes and you’ll see the car market pick up.
2 grand for your old banger won’t incentivise someone to buy a new car. You can get that much knocked off by desperate dealers at the moment.
The thing crippling new car purchase is the lack of credit and the hugely punitive increases in VED in previous budgets. -
49
March 15, 2009 at 01:55 -
I don’t care what happens with the car market. However, any party that promises to get rid of Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond is guaranteed my vote.
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50
March 15, 2009 at 02:02 -
Whay-hay, Delphius1! Thank goodness you turned up! My suggestion is … why don’t those chummy boardroomers who vote their pals on to committees and who enjoy full ‘benefits’ including company cars, share options, health care and possibly gym membership attached to their attractive salaries – let’s say surgeons, company directors etc. – BUY THEIR OWN CARS AND PAY THEIR OWN PARKING FEES OUT OF THEIR OWN IMPRESSIVE SALARIES like their secretaries, administrators etc. have to do? Just like poor Russell the Post Clerk. who has to find the money to tax/insure/MOT/fill with petrol the banger which gets him to work where he parks in the off-site company car park, for which privilege he has £5/month deducted from his £12,000/annum salary. As Russell walks the remaining 1/2 mile, he passes the ‘top people’s’ car park (FOC to permit-holders,incidentally!) and wonders how it can be legal that the top nobs get free parking on salaries several times bigger than poor Russell’s. Take, purely for example, the NHS – surgeons and consultants are ALWAYS allocated parking on site and, amazingly, they RUN THEIR PRIVATE CONSULTANCIES by ‘special arrangement’ with their NHS secretaries who work after 5.0o pm, using NHS offices and equipment, on their consultants’ private appointments, correspondence and even tax-returns, in exchange for an independently agreed ‘supplementary salary’ and this is not considered to be wrong in any way. Hmm.
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51
March 15, 2009 at 13:01 -
I arrive at the article late.
LATE BECAUSE I BOUGHT A CAR FROM THIS MAN!!!!!!
Firstly, he said there were 4 wheels that go round and round – there wasn’t! Secondly he said the gear stick naturally eases into ones hand when one tries to shift gear. The boot was supposed to be empty but was full of mysterious bags containing what looks like wods of notes. The man is an inveterate liar because on selecting reverse the car went backwards. He said that was due to quantitative easing, whatever that is. Frankly, the whole thing was a bloody mess and I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole!!
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52
March 16, 2009 at 10:12 -
Two grand for my old banger that’s worth tuppence ha’penny last time I tried to trade it in on a nearly new motor!
WooHoo as Homer Simpson says.
Must read the small print though, there may be a clause about spending the summer on a yacht with Lord Mandelsailor.
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