The Post I wish I’d written…
Bill Quango is right: Everyone else just shut up.
Ok. Enough is enough. I’ve listened to your thoughts for quite a while now. I’ve watched you on Newsnight. I’ve heard you on the Today program and read about your views in the Independent. Now I want you to stop. Partly because you’re sounding ridiculous. But mostly because I’m right and you’re wrong.
I’m talking about this mass media burble of a mix of the political /student/activist/opportunist/columnist/ twitter-chatter and disconnected opinion. It’s all pervading. Whatever the subject there is this incoherent babble of argument that could be punctured in a moment if the whole thing was a proper discussion instead of a fight, purporting to be a serious discussion show.
Whether its on Workfare. On ‘The Cuts’. On Human rights. Salaries. Tax rates. Spending. Foreign aid. Interventions in other lands. Unions. Health Provision or ‘capitalism’. Please…Be quiet. Shhh…Just STFU for a minute.
Because I keep hearing the most ill informed, ill thought through, politically motivated, hysterical garbage pouring from the radio and TV speakers. So – just zip it, Ok?
Because there’s no point to it all unless someone finally says A is right and B is wrong.
Since the BBC can’t by charter and Sky seem unwilling and no one trusts newspaper columnists anymore, it will have to be me.
So – firstly. #Mr Occupy. Lets do capitalism. Seems only fair as its the title of the blog. Capitalists and work. Not something very much in evidence down at Finsbury Park.
Mr Occupy.
Capitalism and all that. It’s a terrible thing and is doing its evil to society. Some people have more than other people and some people didn’t do much to get a lot more than others. Some were given money and some got a bailout and yada, yada, yada.
But if I can just point out this:
That awful,uncaring, heartless society. What does it actually ask from you as an individual? Not very much. And what does it do for you? Quite a lot.
The callous capitalist west is happy to house you if you want to be housed. It will educate for free from 3 -18 years. It will attend to your medical needs, cradle to grave, regardless of what you do to your own body. It agrees to protect you from hostile countries with a military and from hostile fellow citizens with a police force, whether or not you yourself are a criminal. If you catch on fire it will send someone round to put you out. It will have a justice system to ensure you are fairly treated and will provide a lawyer for you if you need one. The state doesn’t care what religion you are. What you call yourself. What you wear or where you travel. The state will provide infrastructure every citizen may use regardless of how much taxation that individual has contributed to its development. Anyone may use terminal 5 or New Street station or the M25. . It will give you money every week and ask only that you sign for it once every month. More money if you’re ill. Or if its cold. When you’re sixty five or sixty eight it will give you more money if you have never saved or earned any any of your own.
It won’t even ask you what you’re doing with the cash. It will let you spend it on cigarettes, booze, Cheesy Whatsits, gambling or an E Harmony subscription. The state doesn’t care.
It won’t demand you serve in the military or a national service labour scheme. It doesn’t even ask you to give blood or take part in medical experiments. Or sweep up the streets or even just sign an agreement that you promise only to say nice things about the government.
And that’s just a democratic government. Capitalism adds choice. Technology. Medical advances. Communications. Longevity. Energy. Transportation. Travel. Comfort.
The whole of civilisation has been a struggle to secure enough food to eat and enough shelter to survive. Once mankind has those then life expectancy and general health and happiness increase. China, even after all their recent advances and wealth, is currently only at our 1948 standard of living levels in a direct comparison with the UK. Africa is not even in the 20th century.
That puts YOU, my camping friends, way ahead of 925 million Africans. Ahead of many of the 1 billion Indians. 143 million Russians and 81 million Egyptians might think that’s a sweet deal.
1.5 billion Chinese might ask if you have to have a child, as they do, to give you an income in old age. They might be amazed to learn that the state will pay you a sum for eighteen years if you have a child. It will provide birth facilities and free healthcare at any cost and pay for nursery care from 3 years of age. And the evil money grabbing employers will pay the mother a salary for 39 weeks and will keep their job open for her all that time in case she wants to have it back. The mum isn’t even required to say whether she plans to return to work.
The 112 million Mexicans might wonder if you HAVE to promise to vote for the president of the party to get all those benefits. They might be surprised to learn that you don’t even have to vote at all.
46 million Colombians might wonder how long a person could stay on unemployment benefit, in a state paid for house. With their children educated and their council tax and national insurance paid for. They might be surprised to learn that there is no time limit.
76 million Iranians might wonder how restrictive all the state and religious laws are? Be a shock to find out that any sex, race, religion or dress code goes. And everyone, regardless of gender, is treated equally.
So, Occupy and fellow travellers. Give it a rest. It isn’t that bad. Even when the cuts really do take hold your cheque will still come. Your home or alternative bedsit accommodation will be available. Your milk vouchers will still be accepted. You won’t be asked to do anything or even to justify your lifestyle. And of all the thousands of laws in the land probably only ‘no smoking inside public places’ and ‘no camping in the street’ really effect you at all. Oh, and maybe the one about our borders.
Because if you really can’t take this western, capitalist, neoclassical, oppressive Hell hole any more it’s going to cost you £77.50, plus £4 for photos and 58p for a stamp for a passport to escape.
Bill Quango MP
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March 5, 2012 at 07:12 -
Perfect, just perfect…
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March 6, 2012 at 13:53 -
“It will have a justice system to ensure you are fairly treated and will provide a lawyer for you if you need one.”
Christopher Tappin might have something to say about this!
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March 6, 2012 at 13:56 -
Nigel Farage is at least trying to do something, which is more than can be said for our government: http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/30569
…
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March 5, 2012 at 08:15 -
Just come back from a month in the USA: it’s by no means uniform, what you’re saying about “The callous capitalist west is happy to …”.
Nice paean. Not exactly correct, though. -
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March 5, 2012 at 08:20 -
Breath of fresh air.
Put it up on bill boards.
Give as a hand out to all 14 year olds, entitlement freaks and ‘radical’ lefties. Gold-plated copy for Ms. Laurie Penny. -
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March 5, 2012 at 08:23 -
Nice one!
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March 5, 2012 at 09:28 -
Really does pull the rug from under Occupy’s feet doesn’t it.
And that technological capitalistic ideaology which the Chinese are half following (they are still a communist country with centralised planning etc) has allowed it to get to our 1948 levels from 1800 levels in only ten years or so. And it will likely reach our current 2012 levels in the next five years. Just seeing that workers at FoxConn are getting pay rises of around 25% each year and that the range of pay rises in Chinese manufacturing in general is between 10% and 30% shows how likely that will be.
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March 5, 2012 at 09:41 -
Can I just salute one of the finest rants I have read. Well Done!
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March 5, 2012 at 09:44 -
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March 5, 2012 at 10:02 -
Sounds like an advert for complete state control to me.
The STATE and our glorious Leader will provide everything, from the cradle to the grave.
Just so long as you are working for the State, unemployed or in education.Work for a private company, or God forbid yourself and you just have to pay for all those wonderful State sanctioned benefits.
Don’t have children? But for everyone else’s.
Become ill and need a little help? Jump through these hoops.
State controlled Capitalism = Marxism. -
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March 5, 2012 at 10:13 -
Of course you could also argue that the abuse isn’t ‘real’ capitalism, just like the communists argued that Russians weren’t real communists and muslim apologists argue that islamic excess isn’t real islam.
Back in the 1920′s ‘real’ capitalists like Henry Ford used profits to pay for new plant, which increased production, reduced costs, lowered prices, raised wages, raised demand, increased profits … etc. Now a lot of capital isn’t capital (savings) at all just debt, that will be paid sometime never. A pyramid scam that pretty well all governments of whatever political colour seem to have bought into.
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March 5, 2012 at 10:42 -
Probably going to get shouted down here, but I’m a guy who’s worked since I was 16, and now have a quite well paid job that requires skill and creativity.
And I have trouble making it through the month as my gas and electric bills go up, my house is worth less than I paid for it and food seems to cost more.
I’m not a fan of people who seem the think the world owes them, whether they are living in a bedsit or a penthouse. But it’s the ones that are currently screwing me over while drinking champagne that I’m more angry about.
I’d quite like to see the people who came up with all the financial instruments and wheezes that got us into this happy state given a good talking to and kicked out.
So there you go, I’m angry but I’m not on the streets occupying because I’d like to keep my house, the cat likes it. And I can’t help thinking that it’s just the way my masters like it.
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March 5, 2012 at 10:48 -
Not totally correct – and I do not say this to wind you up – a lot of the problem was the fact that an awful lot of people borrowed money without giving proper thought as to how they could pay it back.
Mortgage application forms don’t just fill themselves in.
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March 5, 2012 at 10:51 -
Forgot to add…………..before shady financial instruments to sell off dodgy debts were cooked up…………..there had to be dodgy debts.
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March 5, 2012 at 11:18 -
This is true. I will admit, I myself have a mortgage after many years of not getting one because I thought the state of the economy couldn’t last (having grown up in the 80′s I didn’t believe the bullshit). I finally got fed up of renting and not being able to decorate. Or my wife did, I forget.
So I got a Northern Rock 102% mortgage having no savings and am paying it of. As I say I have a job, it pays well the mortgage is going to be paid off it’s all good. I’m not complaining about that, I made my decision and I have to live with it.
The whole “It’s not the bankers fault, the poor dears were just servicing a need” argument has a big hole it in though. One of the fundamental rules of banking, as I understand it I’m a coder, is managing risk. Accurately working out the risk of a deal and pricing it accordingly. One could argue quite convincingly that they failed to do this in a spectacular fashion and then WE BAILED THEM OUT.
My taxes, and in my time I have paid quite a bit of them, where given to the banks so they could learn absolutely nothing from there spectacular cock ups and carry on doing the same thing.
So yes, people got into debt, it’s a shared responsibility, I just feel that some people feel that I should forget the stupid shit THEY did while feeling chastised for my decisions.
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March 5, 2012 at 12:05 -
Who bailed them out? The politicians.
They were commercial enterprises that went bust. They should have been allowed to go bust. Public money should not have been expended, except to temporarily nationalise the retail parts of those banks so that normal life could continue.
Lehmann Brothers was allowed to fail by the Yanks. Has the world stopped turning as a result?
I repeat – whatever way you look at it, our current economic woes are solely and completely down to the decisions of politicians.
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March 5, 2012 at 13:03 -
I’m with ‘Engineer’ Simon.
The Lefties blame Thatcher (S-F-S), but actually the City was exceedingly well regulated until…………Gordon the Moron came along – the man who opened Lehman Bros. London HQ.
Good luck with your travails.
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March 5, 2012 at 13:40 -
I think you’re maybe misunderstanding me. I’m firmly in the position that can’t easily be mapped on the simple Left-Right wings of the French Parliament axis.
I’m not saying the state should run everything, nor am I saying that private enterprise is a bad thing.
I’m saying that any system will be abused, it’s human nature to find the easiest way to obey the rules for the most return. And if you can bend the rules and get away with it? Even better.
So yes, I’m angry at our politicians for not have the balls to deal with the problem. Please don’t think I just blame Thatcher though, despite living through the 80′s and watching my parents scrabble to keep their business going. I also blame the lying toad Blair and the Oh so smart Gordon Brown.
And don’t get me started on the greasy sleazeballs that we’ve now got. I honestly can’t decide which of them I dislike more.
I, and I think a lot of people, would just like to get on and feel that next week might be better than this week.
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March 5, 2012 at 13:23 -
Minor correction, and feel free to berate me about it, but your house is worth what you think it is worth. Only when it comes to selling (or defaulting on the mortgage) does it actually realise its potential value.
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March 5, 2012 at 10:44 -
You missed out the bit about governments spending all that money to ‘ensure’ we ‘save the planet’.
Oh, and the bits where governments are so concerned about our welfare that they legislate to ensure that all bananas are straight.
Other than that – it was perfect.
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March 5, 2012 at 11:07 -
Like Simon, I will be unpopular too.
Reading Bill’s rant it would appear that we live in an ideal society. We do not.
An old saying which may be useful is “Fur coat and no knickers”.
We have an NHS, true, but it kills over 60,000 people a year. MRSA and botched operations, overdosed medicines, wrong medicines, neglect, misdiagnosis, ineptitude, etc etc etc.
We have a judicial system, true, but when you realise that the monarch has violated her coronation oath several thousand times (she has broken her contract with the people), and that the judiciary (and that fine police force) all derive their power from her, (now meaningless), and that secret courts are held, it does takes the shine off.
We have one of the finest armed forces in the world, true, but why do we deploy them illegally, to murder innocent men, women and children?
Did Bill stop to ponder why those 1.5 billion Chinese do NOT need five million cameras watching their every move?
For every Yin there’s a Yang.
I could fisk the rest but I won’t.
(Just for clarities sake, I neither support Occupy or necessarily agree with their views, but they did one thing we all consistently fail to do: they got off their arses).
CR.
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March 5, 2012 at 12:07 -
A serious part of the problem is the blatant misuse of statistics and made up facts by the media and interested parties.
The NHS doesnt kill 60,000 people per year. Approx 4000 die because of hospital infections, mistakes etc.
The UK is a Constitutional Monarchy, not a Republic. The judicial system works fine (Unless your a terrorist, or mentally disabled). And the courts just follow the laws set by parliament.
The British Armed Forces have a very strict ROI. They only kill people who shoot at them first. And it has to a targeted kill, not the US style of shooting anything that moves. Yes civilians do get killed in the crossfire, but to say the army is murdering innocents is wrong.
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March 5, 2012 at 13:07 -
I didn’t read that Bill Quango was saying everything was perfect. I read that he was saying captialism is not a great evil. It is certainly not perfect but other economic systems have failed more spectacularly. As a theory communism sounds perfectly aspirational but founders and foundered on the immovable nature of human beings. Any economic system (or political system for that matter) that doesn’t acknowledge humanities urge to get around the rules for their own benefit is going to be in trouble. Hence you have ‘communist’ China with a long esconced elite and the reason many dictatorships don’t need CCTV is because they have citizens spying on one another. Capitalism works best – so far. Democracy works best – so far (and is by no means perfect).
I have lived in others countries and the UK is pretty good on lots of fronts. But like lots of people we don’t always recognise that. While it is important to look at what is wrong and could be impreoved – it is equally important to recognise what is good and works well. And I rather like being in a country where I can comment freely on blogs, read diverse opinions and not fear for my life if I don’t agree with the government (although I may fear for my blood pressure occasionally).-
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March 5, 2012 at 13:45 -
For the record: I think capitalism is mighty fine. It creates wealth and it creates jobs. No issue with that at all.
I just don’t think we need 650 parasites wasting our money as if it was a talent. Nor do we need six million public sector workers to support the 650 inepts.
I guess that makes me an Anarchist Capitalist, or whatever the hell the label is.
CR.
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March 5, 2012 at 14:41 -
well you need to have a label. And then a slogan. And then you need to buy a tent and , seeing as you are an anarchist capitalist, you’d need to buy some red braces, a stripey suit and a filofax.
Am wondering where you could camp in front of.
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March 5, 2012 at 14:50 -
He could use a portable wind turbine on the roof of his tent to recharge his smart-phone and lap-top.
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March 5, 2012 at 17:58 -
Cap’n, I do fret about your blood pressure sometimes, although everything you say makes perfect sense to me and has done since I started following your stuff…
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March 5, 2012 at 20:21 -
Robert,
Thank you for caring, I do appreciate your concern.
I have had a great deal of support since the bobbies delivered the court paperwork on Saturday.
My BP is fine though. I have learnt to enhance my calm.
Mind you, I may well not be so calm when I walk through the door to the court this week. (My first ever visit to a Scottish court. I should be embarrassed to call myself a Lawful Rebel…)
Win lose or draw I will report back.
CR.
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March 5, 2012 at 11:46 -
Yup.
I’m going to be unpopular too. As a rant, its fine, presses all the correct incendiary buttons.
However, its an argument reflected elsewhere in society, that things could be worse so stop moaning, when the reality is; things should be a fuck-site better and they’re not.
As for those living in other countries sometimes in poverty? That would be their responsibility, why should I compare and contrast, as long as I’m not doing anything to compound their situation, why should we rest on our laurels (so to speak) because they’re so much worse of than we are.
And no, I’m not a fan of the occupy crowd either but as Captain said, atleast they got off their backsides. It was a shame it got hijacked (or so we have been led to believe) by middle class tosspots out for a camping jolly and homeless anarchists…
If you believe what you read in the papers…
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March 5, 2012 at 12:13 -
Now we see why all those asylum seekers travel through all those safe countries before finally pitching up here.
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March 5, 2012 at 22:15 -
Is there any other country in the world where you can go through your whole life, assuming you are not ill or disabled, never work or contribute a penny and you and your family are kept by the State and then, when you ‘retire’, you are entitled to all sorts of benefits not available to those who have paid in all their lives?
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March 5, 2012 at 23:27 -
Hopefully Bill Quango will ‘do’ Feminism next. Otherwise I just might have to take a leaf out of his book and do it m’self.
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