The Porn Again Expert.
Brrr! Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!
‘Good Morning! “Job Centre”, how can we help you?’
‘Ah, Radio 5 here, we’re making a documentary about porn stars and we need a talking head who can give good….’
‘Gravitas’?
‘Yes, that’s just the word I was thinking of, thank-you, someone who can get down and dirty to….’
‘London’?
‘Yes, just the place I had in mind, someone who can associate the programme with the sort of plug….’
‘That will generate news stories?’
‘Indeed.’
‘Well the lady I have in mind has been out of work since May, and I think would suit you perfectly….’
‘Is she very expensive?’
‘No, dirt cheap, just her expenses.’
‘OK, give us her name….’
‘Jacquie Smith, used to work in Westminster.
And so, children, it did come to pass that Ms Jacquie Smith ex-MP was chosen to front Radio 5s new programme ‘Porn Again’ – it will be broadcast on March 3rd 2011, and Ms Smith will be taking questions from listeners….
Go on, you know you want to…..
January 31, 2011 at 00:18
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Not sure that I want to know about porn involving Jacqui Smith
Oh, I don’t know. ..
- January 30, 2011 at 16:20
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Corrupt without shame
- January 30, 2011 at 08:33
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Can you see the little piggies with their bloated claims?
When wrong is
right in piggy world, the porkers can’t be blamed.
The broadcasts claim it’s for the best, for piggies make the laws.
A
fairer world expressed in “oinks” and dubbed with canned applause.
Pay your tax they need the swill, their curly tails will wag.
And when
you’re left with one last crust they’ll add that to their blag.
- January 29, 2011 at 19:09
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They could at least preserve the spirit of Lord Reith with a hymn at the
start –
“Oh come all ye faithful”
-
January 29, 2011 at 18:43
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“What should I do if I find my man watching gay porn?”
- January 29, 2011 at 16:36
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I can think of two questions for Jacquie.
Isn’t it more obscene for
public officials to defraud the public then for consenting adults to perform
or watch others performing sex acts in front of a camera?
And of so doesn’t
that make your husband less guilty than you?
- January 29,
2011 at 16:05
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Just goes to show that truth can be stranger than fiction.
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January 29, 2011 at 15:22
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At first I thought this was a spoof headline from The Daily Mash . Quite
unbelievable.
- January 29, 2011 at 13:45
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The two movies concerned were called At Your Service and Raw Meat 3.
I googled them at the time, and the latter brought up an image of the DVD
sleeve featuring four extremely well endowed young men, two of whom I recall
being identified as Duncan and Valentino.
Ooh lala!
- January 29, 2011 at 13:04
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It suits the felonious trout, Fat Jacqui, for the core issue of this saga
to be her family entertainment peccadilloes, rather than her blatant
dishonesty, by carelessly submitting, in bulk, everything which looked like an
invoice, for reimbursement from the public purse.
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January 29, 2011 at 12:36
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On radio no-one can see you blush. Even Gerald Scarfe baulked at the pink
cheeks. (For anyone not familiar with this, go to http://www.geraldscarfe.com/ then click Gallery, Politics,
and find the potty-mouthed tub of lard exposed on page 4)
- January 29, 2011 at 11:56
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Not sure that I want to know about porn involving Jacqui Smith. Not my
taste at all.
And what would Harriet say……
- January 29, 2011 at 10:53
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The broadcast will no doubt revolve around the personal experiences of Mr
Richard Timney, whose addiction helped develop the market.
- January 29, 2011 at 10:36
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The Smith porn story always cheers me up because through it I heard the
world’s only heart-warming conspiracy theory – that the porn was in fact
watched by the teenage son and the father/husband took the rap in public to
save the son the shame. True or not, the world looks a nicer place if it
is.
- January 29, 2011 at 09:53
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Finally the BBC repay my license fee with a genuine public service in the
form of this phone-in! Although it is sad to hear ms. Smith has fallen on such
hard times she’s reduced to operating a seedy chat line. I hope there’s some
heavy breathers get through
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January 29, 2011 at 09:46
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For some reason, I feel sick…
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January 29, 2011 at 09:15
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I do, but my question would be a thought crime, therefore best not
- January 29,
2011 at 08:04
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