The oppressed workers of the capitalist lackeys at ScotRail, you know the exploited ones who should be in control of the entire shebang in order to democratise power in the hands…you don’t need me to go on do you?

Anyway these ‘ere oppressed workers were engaged in a struggle for social justice, solidarity, democracy, pensions for civil partners, free plasma TVs for anyone employed over three months, and all points in between, and failing dismally to persuade the management of the essential righteousness of their claim.

Naturally they called for strike action.

‘We’ll close you down, we’ll bankrupt the company’, said they, ‘we’ll go and strike and you won’t be able to run your Caledonian Sleeper service’.

‘Right’, said the bosses, ‘when are you having this strike?’

‘Next Saturday, the comrades fancy a Saturday night out’.

‘Okey-dokey’, said the bosses in a meaningful negotiating manner, ‘no problem’.

And no problem it was, for the Caledonian Sleeper service was not scheduled to run that Saturday….

‘Rats’, said the comrades, ‘hadn’t realised that, well, we’ll bankrupt you the Saturday after then’…

‘Up to you, boyos’, said the bosses. ‘But have you ever bothered to look at a railway timetable? You do realise that we never run the Caledonian Sleeper service on a Saturday don’t you?’

‘Right, we’ll do it next Thursday, the boyos will just have to have a Thursday night out in town instead’.

‘OK’ said the bosses, ‘but if you look at the timetable again, you will see that the way the trains work out, if you go down to London on that day, you won’t have a train where you can use your free rail pass on to get back – you’ll have to pay your own fares – just trying to be helpful like, spirit of management co-operation and all that.’

‘Rats’ said the union,’ well we’ll just huff and puff on Saturday night anyway, even if the night sleeper isn’t running’.

Where would the comrades be, eh, if it wasn’t for the ever helpful management? Couldn’t organise a rail strike on a railway that lot.

What’s the strike about? Who opens and closes the train doors, unbelievably.

“No one is losing their job and current terms and conditions are guaranteed. But the scheduled reopening of the £300m link is now at risk by a union campaign which boils down to who opens and shuts doors on trains.”

1
Demetrius February 19, 2010 at 18:52

Long ago when the Master Cutler ran from Sheffield Victoria to Marylebone the Guard was always impeccably turned out with trousers pressed to a knife edge, white shirt with starched collar and smart tie, smart cap and uniform, with shined boots and a flower in his button hole. His flag had a polished handle and was always spotlessly clean.. We took it for granted. For a period in the late 1940’s and early 1950’s the Leicester to Marylebone section on this train was worked by 60103 “The Flying Scotsman”. Memories, memories…….

2
chefdave February 20, 2010 at 00:26

The unions have totally lost the plot. Take Unite for example, with over 2 million members they’ve got more official support than the big 3 parties combined, yet they’re running little more than a giant councelling service!

All that money, influence and potential wasted on funding the Labour party. The architects of the movement would be ashamed over what its become.

3
Joe Public February 20, 2010 at 08:19

cd
Although Unite has a lot of members, ‘cos their area of influence is the closed shop that is local & national government, not all members are Leftists.

4
Alan February 20, 2010 at 13:07

It hasn’t escaped my notice that that Flying Scotsman goes round and round in circles.(Alright, ovals)

Do unions ever want to get somewhere or just stop anyone else from doing so?

5
bil February 20, 2010 at 13:30

What annoys me most is the almost universal missing of the point that the real collapse of British manufacturing from the 70’s until the mid-late 80’s was due to the labour movement – unions.

Not Heath, not Callaghan, not Thatcher – it was the unions and their restrictive practices.

I get so angry and frustrated with the constant left-wing tirade against Thatcher and the collapse of British industry when it was there own beloved unions that actually did it all.

And before anyone starts (as a teacher at school once did when I had this same argument) – both my grandfathers were Liverpool dockers, staunch Labour supporters. My dad lost two jobs thanks to the unions in the 70s. Crappy childhood. Will never ever forgive or forget.

6
elephant never forgets February 20, 2010 at 13:43

and the problem now is that manufacturing may “add value” but it doesn’t add “get rich quick profits” fast enough for lots of people and ever growing numbers of supposed employment are based on this “house of cards” mentality
Previous industrial relation problems (over more than 30 years that I’ve seen) and imposing all sorts of restriction far further than our previous competitors ( on a level playing field basis) haven’t helped either

Common sense and joined up thinking do not seem to be a quality that is much used now

7
Fed up with Baird February 20, 2010 at 15:03

I remember working in Coventry during the winter of discontent (TM Labour Government) and seeing at least one factory on strike every day, on the way into work. And the strikes were always about stupid things (‘differentials’! remember that one?).

They’re all closed now.

A great victory brothers!

8
Pericles April 1, 2010 at 23:30

Several comments on this article imply that the strikes &c. ‘industrial action’ (what an extraordinary term for ‘doing nothing’) characteristic of the decades since the War — especially the ’70s and ’80s — were failures.

Certainly they failed the common workers, the foot-soldiers of the Left ; the organizers of those strikes, on the other hand, would see the destruction of British industry not as a failure but as an objective : a job well jobbed.

ΠΞ