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Why no Quips twixt Dennis’s slips?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Matt Wardman on May 10, 2012

Dennis the Dinosaur

We all have our crosses to bear.

One of mine is that for more years than I care to remember, I have been ‘represented’ by the Brontosaurus from Bolsover, Dennis Skinner MP.

When he’s not parading around his apartment in – I think – Chelsea, or presenting himself as a representative of the proletariat in South Normanton, or choosing one of his own orations as a great Parliamentary speech, remembering the glory days when he campaigned alongside Arthur Scargill against the rest of the country, or telling us how proud he is not to have changed his opinions, El Dennis is still making his annual attention-seeking quip in the silence after Black Rod has summoned the Members of the Commons to come and listen to the Queen.

This has been going on for at least 25 years now, and it has become a little embarrassing.

This time it was:

“Jubilee year, double-dip recession, what a start.”

The last two have been:

2009 Royal expenses are on the way

2008 Any Tory moles in the Palace?

I have one question for all the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new intake of MPs, who are supposed to be the most stroppy for a generation.

Why do you let him get away with it? Why not challenge a few of these self-indulgent rituals?

Why did no one insert, in the seconds before El Dennis woke up and made his quip, for example:

“Will somebody please have a Dinosaur Dungeon installed in Bolsover Castle?”

Or, better:

“I would have retired as a miner; I will do so as an MP so I am not taking another man’s job.”

Come on, young bloods looking for some profile, get a grip and get some quips.

Suggestions are more than welcome in the comments.

Keep them short and sweet, and who knows, perhaps someone will be on the ball next time?

{ 12 comments }


1
G Wilson
May 10, 2012 at 17:38

Spot on.

And one more question: where was this pretentious creep while Blair was covering-up, or Brown was inflicting his private breakdown on the nation?

Sitting on his hands, maybe, collecting his fat MP’s salary and easing up on the heckling? Voting against the Iraq Inquiry. In fact, judging from his appearances in Chris Mullin’s excellent diaries, counselling secrecy over Labour’s shenanigans so the rest of us might not treat them worse electorally.

Politicians like Skinner, with no interest in improving lives outside of their careerist circle, are part of the problem.


2
Matt Wardman
May 10, 2012 at 18:33

I wouldn’t call him a careerist, just depressingly dinosaurical and not very listening.


3
Ian R Thorpe
May 10, 2012 at 18:11

I’m going to break ranks and say that even though he’s lost the wit and the scorn, we should be glad the stubborn old fool keeps hanging on.
Because when he’s gone from the house all that will remain are grey, faceless party clones who would rather stick hot needles in their eyes than do anything that might identify them as a rebel.


4
Matt Wardman
May 10, 2012 at 18:32

I plead that he isn’t your MP.

There seem to be some characters around. La Ubermensch, Herr Watson, Monsieur Rees-Mogg, Le Carswell etc.

There are probably more still hidden.

One point is that there are very few ex-Ministers yet – Cabinet has been stable.


5
Engineer
May 10, 2012 at 20:30

It may be a little early to appoint Louise Mensch as the new Ann Widdicombe.


6
Spiral Architect
May 11, 2012 at 06:39

To be a ‘character’ one has to attack all sides of the establishment……..Skinner is just an egotistical class warrior and a poseur – he serves no useful purpose whatsover.

Proper MPs question their own side – some of the new Tories show real promise as free-thinkers.

As has been mentioned above, Skinner never said a word against Blair or Brown……..nor did the other 420 Labour sheep…….this is why the expense scandal occurred……the authorities turned a blind eye to the fiddling as long as the Dennis Skinners, Vera Bairds, Margaret Morans and all the other completely useless Labour MPs did nothing – except vote the way they were commanded to by text message.

By and large modern ‘socialists’ make me want to commit violent acts.


7
wassname
May 10, 2012 at 18:36

G Wilson is correct.
Politicians ……………………………are part of the problem. That’s why the turnout in charades laughingly referred to as elections, have been so low.


8
Frankie
May 10, 2012 at 20:25

Dennis Skinner has made a career out of being a fathead. He is not the only one…


9
Penseivat
May 10, 2012 at 20:30

Is this the same Dennis Skinner who, when taking his place in the House of Commons declared, that he would serve until he was 65 and then retire as he would not entertain taking another man’s job? Either his watch has stopped or he is just another of the hypcritical sh*tes in the House of Common Criminals, hanging on for as long as he can to obtain as much as he can in cash and perks. So much for the ‘man of the people’. Tosser!


10
Matt Wardman
May 10, 2012 at 22:46

Yep.


11
Châtelaine
May 10, 2012 at 22:30

Being non British I had to check out Dennis Skinner. I found the following comment [after having read/seen quite a lot of offending Cameron comments] from the Speaker: “Sometimes people are funny. Sometimes they think they are funny. Sometimes they think they are funny deliberately when they are not. Sometimes they don’t realise they are funny when they are.”


12
Humble Observer
May 11, 2012 at 16:40

The best respons’ to Skinner would be silence followed by the pulling of a piece of tumbleweed across ‘The House’ on a length of twine.

Ps: Best parliamentarian is Peter Bone, shurely.

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