Hex in the City.
Ms Raccoon is temporarily indisposed again, so I offer you this Youtube item which is currently trending in the US.
I thought it should be part of your general education – for fear that a young lady, or gentleman, eyeing your pride and joy, and saying ‘I’m going to put a Hex on that’ might lead to you making your ‘excuses and leaving’ – in undignified haste. In fact the Hex will make your pride and joy look like the mighty Gerkin…
Charlie Sheen, the luvvie who recently revealed that his years of cocaine abuse and erratic behaviour had led to an HIV diagnosis, now says that his past life has led him to a ‘greater calling, a deeper calling’.
A beautifully luvvie statement which turns out to mean that he has been hired to flog these condoms. As opposed to those who, he claims, ‘that saw it [HIV] as an opportunity for their own gain’.
Who’d’a’thought putting a Hex on the world was a spiritual calling?
- windsock
August 24, 2016 at 9:54 am -
“he has been hired to flog these condoms”…
… if life hands you a lemon? - The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 10:02 am -
In fact the Hex will make your pride and joy look like the mighty Gerkin…
well it beats having meat shaped like The Shard I suppose. But back in the 70s mother decided to try making a quilt at home…blame Womens Weakly or whatever. I spent hours having to cut out floral patterned Hexagon shapes (like I said the 70s). The thought of incasing my mighty member in an i-Quilt….I’d rather smell of Marigolds for a week after.
and why do I get the feeling they have forgotten to add the slogan “idiot proofing condoms” ?
- Ed P
August 24, 2016 at 11:01 am -
Ha ha to Women’s Weakly!
I’m not sure either the Gherkin or Shard are desirable shapes…but I too remember the craze for hexagon quilting.
- windsock
August 24, 2016 at 12:48 pm -
“Womens Weakly”… Freudian pun?
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 1:04 pm -
‘Freud’ is the German, as you no doubt know, for ‘joy’ and I can assure you that there was nothing joyful about some of the ideas and recipes those magazine’s caused Aged Mother to try. How does ‘exotic risotto’ made from tomato purée mixed through slightly overcooked long grain Co-Op rice with tinned tangerines and raisins mixed through it sound? I still have nightmares about that one, which promised, if I recall, to bring the flair and romance of Belle Italia to Norfolk dining tables of the 70s.
Mind you, as a late teen I derived great amusement by going through the Aunty Aunt pages with my then girlfriend composing , what we considered, more appropriate responses to ‘blushing of Colostomy Bag Minor’ about the ‘physical side of marriage’.
And I remember, to bring this post back on topic…sorta.. that it was only after the first great AIDS SCARE that one of the mags, I don’t recall witch one now, started to print the C-word (I mean the ‘French Letters’ C word not the Shakespearean one).
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 1:05 pm -
- Ho Hum
August 24, 2016 at 1:09 pm -
Do not vury! Der pedaunts vil be heer zoon
- Bill Sticker
August 26, 2016 at 1:24 am -
No, don’t panic. You’ve just got a minor case of Greengrocer’s apostrophe. Eat two sticks of Celery and a bunch of Radishes then read two sections from Lynn Truss’s ‘Eats Shoots and Leaves’. You’ll be fine by morning.
- Ho Hum
- windsock
August 24, 2016 at 1:14 pm -
You don’t fool me, Dwarf! I know you know the difference between joy and the subconscious choice of a word related to a psychoanalyst! Although, of course, one may be the expression of the other, I was referring to the women being weak, rather than reading every week. But you know that too!
- The Blocked Dwarf
- The Blocked Dwarf
- Mudplugger
August 25, 2016 at 9:32 am -
Whatever the fun of grammatical pedantry, I can never see a reference to ‘Woman’s Weekly’ without immediately recalling the brilliant line in Victoria Wood’s ‘Ballad of Barry and Freda’ – “Beat me on the bottom with the Woman’s Weekly” – thanks for that reminder of the 20th century’s very best patter-song. I’m humming it as I type, and probably will do all day now.
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 25, 2016 at 9:45 am -
Uhm I’ll have to google/youtube it. I’m currently listening to/’singing’ along to “9 while 9″….cos I’m hella cooler than thou (and I was a ‘Goth’ back when that meant having read Byron and Shelley in the original Laudanum).
- The Blocked Dwarf
- Ed P
- Ho Hum
August 24, 2016 at 11:09 am -
Of course Millennials will have no problem seeing this as a Hex. Their Pottering about between the sheets goes something like
Orchideous
Incendio
Erecto
Engorgio
Duro
Locomotor Mortis
Alohomora
Expulsowith the duly Hexed component which immediately follows being;
Impedimenta Aguamenti
- Mark Parry
August 24, 2016 at 12:12 pm -
I thought you were about to announce that Sheen was going to take holy orders…or become a hermit…or have a sex change and become a nun!
- Jim
August 24, 2016 at 2:40 pm -
A bit of a Johnny-come-lately”.
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 2:45 pm -
a man of letters though.
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 2:49 pm -
worked hard…like a Trojan infact.
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 2:51 pm -
and a good Mate who’d come round in a Jiffi ….
- windsock
August 24, 2016 at 2:55 pm -
…with cellotape, if they were Australian.
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 3:23 pm -
if one kneaded him in a hurry.
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 24, 2016 at 3:27 pm -
..en pasante
- The Blocked Dwarf
- The Blocked Dwarf
- windsock
- The Blocked Dwarf
- The Blocked Dwarf
- The Blocked Dwarf
- Wigner’s Friend
August 24, 2016 at 3:04 pm -
Hope you’re feeling better soon.
- tdf
August 24, 2016 at 3:42 pm -
Hope you feel better soon.
- Don Cox
August 24, 2016 at 8:04 pm -
Get better very soon.
- Chromatistes
August 25, 2016 at 11:09 am -
Ms Raccoon is hereby permitted to remain indisposed, provided that she continue to publicise similarly-hilarious material at regular and frequent intervals.
A snarling, snarky Raccoon in fine form would be preferred, though.
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