And with a flick of my wrist, I have just dumped the third post I have tried to write this morning. I can type fast, but not fast enough to keep up with the resignations amongst those we elected to lead our country.

Firing Exocets into the bowels of Juncker’s bunker and then running away before he staggers out of the ruins to see whose calling card was on it seems to be becoming a national hobby.

How is it that we can send a man to the moon, a space rocket to Jupiter, but we can’t throw up a single person amongst the 650 people we elected to represent us in Parliament that is able or willing to actually lead the country with any credibility?

They are such a desultory shower.

Corbyn, whose minders have locked him in a darkened room to lie down until the Chilcot report on Wednesday, lest someone convince him he’s had enough and doesn’t want to stand up in Parliament and denounce Blair as a ‘war criminal’.

Watson, such an ineffectual Shadow Deputy Prime Minister, that Diane Abbott can stand between him and her past squeeze, and refuse him permission to talk to his leader…

A Shadow Cabinet comprised of elderly duffers like the 81 year old Paul Flynn, who describes his current role of Shadow Secretary for Wales and Shadow Leader of the House as like being ‘in the middle of Greek Tragedy when the outcome is unknown, bad things are happening but no-one knows who is writing the script.’ He believes that his appointment will lead to an ‘all-octogenarian shortlist’ for the front bench….God Help Us!

The people this joke team should be holding to account are no better.

Cameron couldn’t run out on us fast enough once the Referendum vote was in; despite the fact that he is still Prime Minister, he has not deigned to speak to the people of the country he was so ‘proud to lead’ once since EUmaggedon was unleashed. He spoke to a few journalists in Downing Street, that’s it. Where is the ‘Harold Wilson type’ interview from him in his study, speaking eyeball to eyeball with the people of this country? Has he been locked in a darkened room too?

Theresa May, or then again she may not – such an old joke, but never more true than now. She’s been hiding behind the sofa since this started – and only emerged, dressed as the reincarnation of Sir Nicholas Fairbairn (remember him?) to inform us that she only supported Remain because she thought it was the right thing to do, and now she thought the right thing to do was to be PM and get us out of the EU, or a little bit out, or maybe a bit more in than out, but possibly more out than in, it all depended on what she thought was the right thing to do when she was PM. You do know that she totally believes that ‘child abuse is woven into the fabric of Britain’ like a ‘stick of Blackpool rock’ so don’t expect any let up in the number of people subjected to lengthy investigations as a result of expensive fishing expeditions by the police, under Theresa May.

Michael Gove? Difficult to avoid the House of Cards allusions which have now been done to death – but after he’d knifed his bestest fwend the Prime Minister in the back by changing his mind about supporting ‘Remain’, he knifed his new best fwend in ‘Leave’ in the back ‘cos his wife said so…the rest of the continent will die laughing if that overgrown schoolboy is put in charge of the country. Whatever voices are in his head telling him that he is the right person to lead the country are unutterably wrong….hopefully.

Andrea Leadsom? A former City Banker who finds ‘big bonuses unacceptable’, but doesn’t want to release her tax returns just yet… Her main claim to qualification for the job is that she was a prominent ‘Leave’ campaigner. A woman with many fingers in off-shore banking affairs, and tax minimising – I thought we wanted to see an end to a life controlled by bankers, and people who find it ‘convenient’ to run their affairs through off-shore companies? Seems the desire to have someone in charge of the country who was always committed to ‘out’ is prepared to overlook these details…I’m not.

Liam Fox? Oh for pity’s sake! Have we forgotten that a mere five years ago, Cameron had to step in to stop the Independent Advisor on Ministerial Affairs starting an inquiry into the man? It was only the fact that Liam resigned that stopped a full scale scandal breaking out – and to this day, we don’t know precisely what it was that he had done. Then there is his appalling record on over-claiming expenses. Are we saying we don’t care about any of that, we would be proud to live in a country headed by such a man?

Vote Stephen Crabb – get Sajid Javid in charge of the Treasury, whether he’s the best man for the job or not! Apart from that, the fact that he supported Remain, and a minor expenses scandal, I don’t see too much against him. He’s not a Banker, not a Bullingdon Boy, not a bullshitter. It comes to something when the only person you could possibly support as someone to represent the country, is in that position because of all the things that he isn’t….

Would I have supported Nigel Farage, had he been in a position to stand? Nope.

Boris Johnson? Yes. Lots of faults, but at least we would have had something to laugh about – there’s nothing funny about the position we are in today.

Pygmies, the lot of them.

Who else out of the 650, of any hue, would you honestly say you would be proud to send forth into the world as the leader of Great Britain?