*Yawn*. Apologies once again for my absence. Ms Raccoon has once more been
stress testing the NHS, Keeping Mr G on his toes, resolving to return to my previous diet of salmon and rice as being the only food acceptable to my new French plumbing system. The combination of the ‘envy of the world’ and British cuisine is not conducive to keeping me vertical, and I can’t type ‘horizontal’. ‘ Should’ave stayed in France‘.
So, you will understand that the quality of said Salmon and said Rice is of particular interest to me today. A damn sight more interesting than David Cameron anyway.
As it happens, my freezer still contains several portions of an excellent Irish line caught wild salmon, laboriously home smoked by the local expert; and the rice jar is still filled with some particularly good Kashmiri rice that arrived with some Saffron from an area so remote it is unlikely to be polluted by anything more than fresh air.
Do I really want to add:
Copious quantities of Cocaine, Prozac, Advil, Benadryl, Lipitor, Flonase, Aleve and Tylenol. Paxil, Valium and Zoloft. Tagamet, OxyContin and Darvon. Nicotine and caffeine. Fungicides, antiseptics and anticoagulants. Cipro and other antibiotics galore.
To my diet? All the above detected in young Salmon swimming past Seattle…
Salmon which is destined to end up in Tesco/Asda/Sainsbury’s as the healthy option of ‘Wild Pacific Salmon’.
There is of course, ‘farmed salmon’:
The most stringent recommendation, for farmed salmon from northern Europe, was at most one meal every 5 months in order to not exceed an elevated risk of cancer of more than 1 in 100,000. Farmed salmon from North and South America triggered advisories of between 0.4 and one meal per month.
Er, one meal every five months doesn’t impress me one little bit. I’m starving now, haven’t eaten since Saturday morning…
So, has anybody got details of a salmon fisherman working in an area where the locals aren’t off their head with Cocaine, anti-depressants, and probably Viagra and passing it on to the salmon – who can arrange a fast postal service via a ‘hot smoker’?
Or perhaps an area where the salmon can be taught to ‘Just say No’….
Ms Raccoon would be ever so grateful, and able to think of something other than her rumbling tum…