Stormin' Corbyn – The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on August 24, 2015

Ah, Jeremy ‘I’m too sexy for my vest’ Corbyn; the political gift for whom everyday is Christmas Day. It has made the dog days of August so much more enjoyable watching the Labour party tremble lest one of their ‘vulnerable’ voters catches sight of his priapic left-wing credentials.

‘For God’s sake, zip him up, make him put it away’ cry the maiden aunts, Harriet, Yvette and Liz. ‘I told you we should have banned the Internet, there are young voters watching him online in full colour; they’re learning things they should never be aware of’.

Great Uncles Mandelson and Hain are gurgling with delight – for years they have been closely chaperoned at public events for fear the voters would learn things they shouldn’t, too raw for their tender ears – now Grandpa Corbyn has bounded up on stage, taken over the karaoke microphone, unzipped his sheeple clothing and blasted out that well known rallying call ‘Wanna be in my gang, my gang’. Fellow MP John Mann was so outraged by this Glittering performance he threatened to pursue Corbyn ‘on child abuse‘ for as long as I have breathe’. (sic)

Corbyn, or JC, as he is known in messianic circles, has set the Labour party alight, something you may think was long overdue. At last they are agreed on something – voters are suspect creatures, and should be analysed, identified, and not allowed to vote unless they agree to vote for the right person. Normally these nanny-electoral types turn their vitriolic ire on those perverts who vote Tory, but this time it is Tories voting true red Labour that has got to them.

‘Tory-scum – stop voting Labour’ the banners scream. ‘We don’t want to have a leader who cosies up to vile creatures like the duly elected member for Louth in Ireland, we want the sort of leader who will sign oil deals with murderous dictators’ (and the duly elected member for Louth before he went all respectable).

Despite the kiss of death for any leadership candidate being delivered by Russell Brand, ‘Our Jezza’ is still stormin’ ahead. Even Rupert Murdoch is banging what’s left of his gongs for him.

Corbyn increasingly likely Labor winner. Seems only candidate who believes anything, right or wrong.

— Rupert Murdoch (@rupertmurdoch) August 20, 2015

The Daily Mailograph was running a two page article today detailing all the disasters that would befall this septic isle in the 1st 1,000 days of ‘Corbyn-rule’ – calm down dears, its only a commercial. Nobody is going to let him rule the country, not even Labour – but letting him rule the Labour party? That’s different, that’s more in line of a public service.

Methinks even the BBC are preparing for the Corbyn-era by putting their weather forecasts up for grabs. No longer the Met Office – anyone want to take bets on the contract being ‘fairly and transparently’ handed to Weather Action? Weather Action is strongly opposed to the idea of global warming being manmade.

“… CO₂ has never driven, does not drive and never will drive weather or climate. Global warming is over and it never was anything to do with CO₂. CO₂ is still rising but the world is now cooling and will continue to do so.”

That’s Jeremy’s brother, Piers Corbyn speaking – Weather Action is his company.

Of course, the Labour party does have a history of electing the wrong brother….just saying…

I hope Corbyn wins, because politics and particularly the moribund Labour party need to be galvanised into action. I’ve watched them descend into a pack of spoilt children desperately trying to portray the Tories as ‘VIP paedophiles’ – their main thrust of why they should be back in power. They have become the party of pathetic whingers.

Will he reform a new Labour party round him? One can only hope so – we need a strong opposition in our adversarial political system. I don’t believe for one moment that Corbyn could win the next general election – nor could any of the other three candidates. However, the other three are sufficiently ‘Tory-light’ that Cameron may wrongly believe that he has to absorb some of the careerist circus of feminist Fabian policies in order to appease them. At least with Corbyn, Cameron can see him coming from a mile off. So can the British public.

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

windsock August 24, 2015 at 9:21 am

And it may be that the British public like what they see.

I agree with your diagnoses of what “New Labour” got wrong, but the “New Conservatives” are only making things worse. Of course neither will admit things are largely beyond their control in a world of globalisation and new “disruptive” technologies and the “sharing” economy (this is a good takedown of that):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ygeC-oeIO4

I don’t care if Corbyn succeeds or fails in his aims. I hope he just boots the whole political class up the arse I refuse to call them elite – they are not elite in any sense of the word, merely privileged).

Robert Edwards August 24, 2015 at 10:00 am

Personally, I have never really seen the point of the Labour Party, but I have seen the purpose of unions. Attlee was a good chap and so was Bevin. Bevan, on the other hand, was a complete charlatan.

The much-vaunted national Health service was merely the execution of a policy drawn up under a Tory Health Secretary in 1944. Similarly, Beveridge was a National Liberal advisor to the wartime coalition. NB not a Lib Dem, whatever little Clegg might hint at.

So, the fact that Corbyn has set the labour party on fire is a fine thing. But can we make sure that the next time it happens, they are inside a locked building?

The only serious political argument in Britain is between the left and right of the Tory party since the Liberals were sent to the knacker’s yard in the wake of the ‘Zinoviev’ affair…

Antisthenes August 24, 2015 at 10:21 am

You and your colleagues always right superb articles but this one must rank as being among one of the best.

Engineer August 24, 2015 at 10:21 am

This Corbyn mania is absolutely hilarious – or rather, it would be but for one rather important function of Parliament, which is an effective opposition which tests goverment intentions by serious debate. For the life of me, I can’t understand why Corbyn wants to address the problems of forty years ago with answers that didn’t work then, and certainly won’t work now.

I’m beginning to think that politics is changing. The traditional left haven’t moved with the times – but the electorate has.

ivan August 24, 2015 at 8:06 pm: You mean they have serious debate in parliament? I doubt that has happened since the late 40s and as for the lot there now I don’t think there is one of them that actually knows what a debate is let alone know how to conduct one, least of all the speaker.

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hereward August 24, 2015 at 10:59 am

Corbyn or one of the other three Liebour apparatchiks ? A no brainer innit ? However rule by the EU escalates and FPTP maintains our wonderful adversarial system which has proved to be such a boon to our political elites . Pay , perks and pensions etc with a poss knighthood or Baronetcy at the end of it . I’ll stop now . Let’s get back to the symptoms and ignore the disease .

Chris August 24, 2015 at 11:02 am

Pure comedy watching a gang of hand-wringing beige bastards recoiling in horror as the traditional left-wing party wants a left-wing leader and the reaction is as if they are electing Athur Scargill or Derek Hatton. I don’t think that there is so much ‘New Labour’ or ‘New Conservative’ as a bunch of privileged charlatans being paid to give us a soap opera of distraction politics, cartoon Parliamentarians with no ‘conviction’ other than ones that can be bought with brown envelopes stuffed with cash – Tory ‘rotters’ and Labour ‘socialists’, all as fake as each other. How can Labour have any credibility in the present day when fielding clowns like Simon Danczuk, Johnny Mann and Tommy Watson?
http://retardedkingdom.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/the-root-of-all-evil.html

prog August 24, 2015 at 11:18 am

Manna from heaven for a Tory government.

If only we had one….

Pericles Xanthippou August 24, 2015 at 11:51 am: Hear, hear. ΠΞ

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Ted Treen August 24, 2015 at 12:51 pm: What he said…

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Dioclese August 24, 2015 at 11:29 am

With a bit of luck it could lead to the Labour Party joining the Liberals in the dustbin of political history.

Like dinosaurs, their time has passed…

Mudplugger August 24, 2015 at 11:38 am

Whilst there is no doubt some wry amusement to be had by standing on the sidelines watching the Labour Party eat itself, as it tries to square the impossible circle of principles and electability, it would be imprudent for the Tories to crow too loudly. In a matter of months, that party too faces a monumental threat as it surely rents itself asunder yet again on the subject of the EU.
With the Lib-Dems in even more disarray than their flaky version of normal, the Labour Party trying to examine its festering navel with its head planted firmly up its own arse and the Tories finally having to face their greatest taboo, all our mainstream parties will never be the same again: a fact which will not have gone unnoticed in either Scotland or Brussels and which will certainly be used to advantage by both those cabals of crooked charlatans.
‘Be careful what you wish for’ may never have been a more apposite warning.

Pericles Xanthippou August 24, 2015 at 11:54 am

“Cameron can see him coming from a mile off. So can the British public.”

Hmmm. Perhaps … but one of the many drawbacks of universal equal suffrage is that the electorate cannot be guaranteed even common sense, never mind the cogitative ability that might help it to make a wise choice of the next administration.

As to Mr. Corbyn’s policies: I know plenty of die-hard Tories, myself included, that, every time they go to buy a railway ticket, suffer an attack of nostalgia for the days when one could call WATerloo 5100 and find out times and costs of journeys across the country, all covered by one ticket: when one could even — important to a child, which I was at the time described — catch a ’bus to the station and, at the other end, to one’s final destination.

Trouble is, if they nationalized the railways again, they wouldn’t bring back steam, which engendered pride and self-esteem in railwaymen … or even the lion and the wheel.

What might they call the new network? Not ‘British Railways’: that’s pro’er English. Couldn’t really call it ‘British Rail’: mention it and every-one thinks of sandwiches.

Perhaps they could emulate the Americans (‘BritTrak’, in quasi camel case naturally); or the Germans (‘The Way’); even the Greeks (‘Organization of British Iron Roads’). Yes; I like that: a romantic touch.

ΠΞ

Ho Hum August 24, 2015 at 10:51 pm

Leaving aside the point at which the Tories lost their Marples in promoting his bus companies, our latterday non saintly inheritance from them was more akin to the setting up the SOO Line by their paper and Penn Central non wizards, I’m afraid.

But subsequent ‘Fallen Flags’ do seem to have been a Labour specialty, so honours are probably evened out at the bottom of that particular sceptic tank

Ho Hum August 24, 2015 at 10:52 pm: Well, septic tank, more likely

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binao August 24, 2015 at 12:22 pm

Depressed though I am by the apparent rebirth of the left, I too think the looming EU thing is worrying.
I still wouldn’t write off the left; we’ve had Gordon’s ‘get half the population hooked on benefits, or free bus passes, needed or not’, reinforcing a culture of entitlement without responsibility. The unions haven’t been sorted in any of the big public services, crucially in education; major charities & pressure groups infiltrated too, so the future of the left is assured. The Tories may have tapped into welfare scepticism, but is the the %age of the vote so inclined significant?
I think the sheer power & resources available to Brussels, the total commitment of the UK ‘establishment’, the on message BBC, mean the in/out debate will go on until the older generation dies or the EU finally does more damage than sizeable individual state can bear.
Dave must know he can’t put this one to bed so all he can do is present some semblance of a slower rate of assimilation. I really don’t think ‘out’ is even a remote possibility in the mind of any of senior players, nor would the EU tolerate it.
Yeah I’m prejudiced.

Carol42 August 24, 2015 at 12:53 pm

I am not so sure about a vote to leave the EU now. I didn’t think it was likely but the treatment of Greece has a lot of people worried. I know their politicians were responsible with plenty of encouragement from Brussels to borrow so much but was it necessary to humiliate and ignore the people? Nearly everyone I know all well informed, are having second thoughts. Whether we will be ‘allowed’ to leave is another matter!

binao August 24, 2015 at 6:22 pm: I just think the nature of the organisation will guarantee Europe’s economic decline as more nimble footed international competitors, cooperating in trading blocs for mutual benefit, not territorial/political ambition, respond more flexibly & more quickly to whatever is happening in the world.
The idea also that this Europe wide collection of different cultures & economies can become one, & share wealth in the manner that a common currency must require seems absurd.
No problem with the ideals, just the common sense.
I think it’s a case of the EU believing it’s own propaganda & a lot of idealists uncritically wanting to believe it.
Sorry for banging on, I’m sure it’ll outlive me but bumpy times ahead.

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Duncan Disorderly August 24, 2015 at 12:56 pm

The Mail on Sunday story (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3207363/Prime-Minister-Corbyn-1-000-days-destroyed-Britain-brilliant-imagining-Corbyn-premiership-reveals-Tories-gloat-Labour-s-woe-careful-wish-for.html) is shit-the-bed funny. It is perfectly distilled Mailhate, guaranteed to drive everyone crazy.

‘Thank you Lord Jesus, for President Trump.’

binao August 24, 2015 at 1:45 pm: Funny article yes, but I still couldn’t buy the paper.
As one who worked in the chaos of the ’60’s on, especially the madness of the ’70’s (3 day week anybody? & by the way 3 days wages too), I wonder how many younger people are aware of how fragile our comfort really is?
Still, probably couldn’t happen again…….?

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GildasTheMonk August 24, 2015 at 1:41 pm

Interesting. Labour’s elite seem to be saying: we embrace democracy – oh, hang but you’re the wrong sort of voters! In some senses it is a scene of some hilarity, largely because as I think others have observed, those who assume that they have the divine right to lead fear that someone who does not come from within their cabal might actually oust them and take the top seat at the table. And would that be so bad? At least Corbyn appears to have conviction in his beliefs, and what is so wrong with that? He might be a loonie, but at least he’s an honest loonie who seems to believe what he says. I am chiefly concerned by Corbyn’s foreign policy leanings. A supine worship of Russia, and a desire to leave NATO – both dangerous in the extreme, and the left’s usual Palestinian fixation (and I am not an unconditional supporter of all Israel’s actions by any means).

Ho Hum August 24, 2015 at 10:58 pm: I’d be seriously pissed off if, say, my professional body let any old oik have a vote for just stumping up a few bob.

But it’s not stupid.

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Hadleigh Fan August 24, 2015 at 6:08 pm

Now let’s have some sense on the EU debate, and whether it splits the Tories or not.

What splits the Tories is not ‘In’ or ‘Out’, but whether or not the blasted thing is a valid subject on which to have views. The ‘Out’ faction have in fact won by getting the referendum (OK, it’s only a promise, and if it doesn’t happen THAT will split the Tories). But if it happens and the result is ‘In’, then Tories will move on to the next issue. They aren’t like the SNP in this respect. OK, the debate will come round again in due course, but then won’t it if the result is ‘Out’? ‘Tory split on EU’ is wishful thinking on the part of the left and the MSM.

Ho Hum August 24, 2015 at 11:05 pm: I’ll believe that when Paul Dacre agrees with you and signs up to something, no, anything other than what his minority visionaries wish to impose on the rest of us

Here’s a big clue. Read what he has said about what you need to do to sell newspapers so that they can do good for us…

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AdrianS August 24, 2015 at 8:31 pm

I think if Corbyn wins he could end up as PM. I suspect that after another 5yrs of austerity if ordinary people lives aren’t much better they will say they’ve given the Conservatives the chance and all that happened is the rich got richer and the poor got poorer. Also people will soon get fed up of having the benefits safety net well and truly dismantled to a point of being vicious. Also they will be fed up of being hounded by the DWP to try and get work in areas were there is a huge amount of competition, including immigrants working for low wages. Public sector workers have been given effectively a 10 year wage freeze with worsening employment terms, so they won’t vote for the Conservatives again.
So you have lots of very poor people just on the breadline and some very wealthy people.
Just wait and see what other little treasures Cameron brings us

Mudplugger August 24, 2015 at 9:16 pm: All that may be true but it’s electorally irrelevant. Most of those ‘victims of austerity’ either already vote Labour or don’t bother to vote at all, so the tightening of welfare will not decrease Tory support in any way, indeed by some measures it would actually be increased as the ‘attack’ on welfare abuse is proving electorally very popular.
Corbyn’s best hope is to create an unthinking bandwagon, akin to what the SNP managed, which may then encourage some non-voters and the morbidly suggestible to join in and mark their cross. But unlike the single, emotive issue of independence, it’s a very different argument to sustain and I would be surprised if he could manage it.

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Engineer August 24, 2015 at 9:36 pm: Corbyn seems popular amongst Labour Party activists (and not all of those). About 600,000 people are entitled to a vote in the Labour leadership contest. About 45,000,000 are entitled to a vote at the general election. They won’t all vote, but nonetheless; persuading 300,000 political activists to vote for his policies is one thing, but persuading about 20,000,000 members of the general public to vote for them is quite another.

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AdrianS August 24, 2015 at 8:36 pm

The SNP position is a strange one! Hate being ruled by Westminster, but if they get independence happy to be ruled by Brussels.
I used to love Scotland, had some really nice holidays there, I won’t be going there again with all the anti English feelings there now!

Ho Hum August 24, 2015 at 11:26 pm: Strange place.

A Big hearted, generous, witty, decisive and very very clever, people, at best.

Small minded, judgemental, chip on the shoulder, bigots at worst, who can easily match any UKIP, Tory, Labour, or LD voter from South of Hadrian’s Wall to the extent that voting for a wee pork pie perched on two chipolatas seems no more bizarre than eulogising, and putting one’s ‘X’ in the box for Call MeDave, Jeremiah, or that fruit cake, Nigella

Sad, isn’t it?

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Cascadian August 24, 2015 at 8:53 pm

In a world supported by near-zero percent financing, even the wildest socialist projects become feasible, eg windmills and all manner of green projects. The folks in Zimbabwe are surviving after a fashion after hyper-inflation and a generation of voters have no recall of how truly awful the labour governments were in the 1970s. I am not then dismayed by Corbyn’s popularity, it seems that some hard lessons may need to be re-learned.

JimS August 24, 2015 at 8:59 pm

Corbyn has always been a Labour ‘rebel’ – does he support Labour ‘values’ – should he be allowed to vote?

Fat Steve August 24, 2015 at 9:06 pm

Will he destroy the present Labour party? One can only hope so – their toxic legacy of the past 13 years deserves to be wiped from the face of the nation – Iraq, the banking fiasco, mass immigration, a housing price bubble, an educational system in chaos, and a police force engaged in investigating 30 year old complaints from repentant rent boys, but with no time to protect elderly widows who have been burgled.
Gosh Anna 1997/2011 and the era of COOL BRITANNIA summarised in a three line paragraph …..I just wish I had a small percentage of your icy perception and way with words. Trust you are keeping well

Michael August 25, 2015 at 7:23 am

To me the New Labour era was all about the State embracing and celebrating the amorality which had become prevalent in modern culture, and then managing the fallout with increased disregard to the rule of law. It was the era of controlling behaviour through ASBOs, control orders and parenting orders – legislation brought in which sought to do away with the sticky business of due process. It was about quashing dissent – as proved by the holocaust survivor who was held held under terrorism laws for a simple heckle at the Labour party conference.
It was not about leadership, it was about control. Controlling the NHS by target and diktat – targets that were so ludicrously simple to circumvent, so for example we had the unedifying spectacle of Ambulances stacked in the car park outside A&E departments instead of on calls. Why? Because the statistics were only measured when their patients made it through the door. But the Government could confidently report that “Tractor production is up, comrade!”
Apologies for the longevity of this post, but I have to also mention the role reversal of State and Citizen. Previously the State had been accountable to the electorate, but with the proposed introduction of a national identity database, there was to be a de facto license to exist granted from the Centre. A single point of failure, no less – so that your very existence could be revoked by the Home Secretary.
And that’s before we get to the idea of getting parents to be accountable to the school in terms of home-school contracts, attendance, and even the contents of little Johnny’s packed lunch. And the two Policewomen who were visited by government inspectors who were told that they could not look after each others’ children – kids who had been like sisters since the cradle. And Blair, who had pontificated that he needed to start dealing with problem children “before birth”. And the preacher who was arrested for taking the biblical stance on homosexuality.
Certain ideas – the ID card scheme, the national DNA database, road pricing via GPS tracking, Citizenship courses (again, the State as a new unifying factor to take the place of God in society) never made it to market. But the massive tax, spending, and commensurate interference particularly in the area of the family, sought to carve out a new all-powerful role for the amoral machinery of government in the lives of ordinary people who were becoming a little less free with each new piece of legislation passed.
Corbyn’s election would only make it more likely that one of the key characters from New Labour will become the next Labour leader at the General Election. David Miliband (the dangerous one, not the stupid one) is already mustering his forces. The man who once proposed that each “citizen” should have a contract with the State so that their environmental impact could be managed. With politics as with watermelons, green on the outside, red on the inside…

Chris August 25, 2015 at 8:42 am: The worst crimes of all were the ‘Education Education Education’ reforms – which combined with the internet & dumbed-down mainstream media have ensured that today in 2015 if you look for a state school educated young adults you would trust to make adult decisions under the age of about 26, you will be searching in vain.
Which means now, well & truly, ‘No Future’. Bleak.

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Oi you August 25, 2015 at 12:12 pm

A leftie mate is totally taken with Jezza and sees him as God, bowing down to worship whenever there is a chance to demonstrate his allegiance. Usually down the pub, that perfect place of veneration!! When I pointed out just recently, that JC sides with the IRA and anti-semites, he crowed and crowed and CROWED about ‘occupying other people’s countries’. I was tempted to mutter, ‘Iraq’ under my breath, but wisely kept silent, wishing to save my breath.

I side with AdrainS (above) on this. I think he could end up running the country simply because the voter will eventually turn against ‘Cultural Marxist’ Cameron. But then the EU is riddled with communists, so Jezza will ultimately feel at home there. Goodness knows what will happen to us.